Proving estrangement/independence?

Hi, I know there have been other threads on this... but none that applied to my specific situation.

So here goes.

I'm in my fourth year of study and for the previous years have received the maintenance grant. I've been told this year that unless I prove estrangement from my mother (I've never known my father) then I will not be allowed to receive the maintenance grant!!

I moved out of my mother's house one month before my 16th birthday and went to live with my grandmother. My mother moved to Spain just after I turned 17 and after that I lived with my grandmother until I moved to uni two months before my 19th birthday, and returned there for summers. My mother and I have not spoken at all since Christmas 2009. Since this July, I now live with my partner, in our own private rented home and I'm 22 in just over a month.

My mother did 'sign' the form when I originally left for university, but it took her six months and eventually it was at the discretion of one SF employee who understood the issues I was having getting my mother to do anything to support my application (and Spain not having the right tax forms etc) that I was eventually able to receive my grant, so I did not receive any money until March 2009.

I have been told to get a letter from my doctor, social worker, or tutors explaining the situation. I do not have a social worker, my doctor says he cannot sign anything as he has no previous knowledge of my situation and my tutors have said the same. I have been to the CAB, who could not help me and I have called the Student Finance people several times and they keep telling me to get the same evidence from people I have ALREADY asked and been declined. We have offered to send proof of address for the years I was living with my grandmother, and my grandmother tried to adopt me too, we have offered to send off documentation to show that she was my LEGAL guardian until I turned 18, she had been receiving tax credits etc because I was living with her and they will not accept this!!!

I cannot contact my mother, I have no idea where she lives or if she is even still living in the UK. Even if I could, I wouldn't as I do not want her finding out any details about me, especially not where I live or how to contact me.

I am ENTITLED to this money, I have been receiving it for the past three years and my circumstances have not improved since. I just don't know what to do... my partner works but does not earn enough to pay rent, bills and all the other expenses for the two of us. If I don't get my grant, it's looking like I will have to withdraw from university and not complete my final year, just to be able to support myself as my health is not good enough for me to manage a job and full-time at university.

Reply 1

denislaw

Let's get this in perspective.
The most money you are talkng about is £2906.
You can use your student account overdraft temporarily while you get this sorted.
You may need to pay a solicitor about £100 for a letter to help sort this out because the usual channels are refusing to get involved in your case. From what you have written you would appear to be estranged what you need is some support from a knowledgeable person in some sort of authority which is why I suggest a solicitor. It won't be free but will get you the grant you need to continue.

Reply 2

starsandskies

Would the solicitor need to have prior knowledge of the situation (as has been the problem previously) or would they simply need to know the information above?

If evidence is needed that is no problem either... my grandmother still has plenty of documentation!

Reply 3

Neostigmine

Original post by starsandskies

I am in the exact same position. I gave an official complaint and was referred back to an adviser who told me the exact same thing I knew, about getting a solicitor/doctor etc. Totally unfair.

Reply 4

starsandskies

I just called SFE to ask about getting the solicitor's letter... I explained I don't really want to pay that much for a letter if it's not going to be accepted.

She checked with her superiors they have said that a solicitor's letter will definitely be accepted, I just need to find myself a solicitor now!

Good luck with this!

I had this problem when I first applied

I had been estranged for over 5 years, even had a GP confirm this, as he'd treated me since i was a baby

But I was told, it has to be estranged official through the law

Reply 7

denislaw

Original post by Jeevz

which means what exactly?

Reply 8

Neostigmine

Original post by Jeevz

I don't think so, you just need someone to back you up!

Reply 9

Jeevz

Well I sent SF a letter from a GP, and I got told that the only way to get it would be to have gone through the courts and got myself legally seperated from my parents care

I spent months looking into it, and I couldnt do anything without proving that I have legally not been in the care of my parents

Reply 10

Neostigmine

Original post by Jeevz

Well I sent SF a letter from a GP, and I got told that the only way to get it would be to have gone through the courts and got myself legally seperated from my parents care, and I couldnt do anything without proving that I have legally not been in the care of my parents

Had your GP been aware of the situation ie had you visited them for depression etc because of the split? Because that is what they wanted from me. I've been doing it too. They wanted a doctors letter detailing that they had seen me about the situation, a social workers letter who had been involved, a solicitors letter explaining what has happened or a letter from a tutor at school/college who has known for at least a year that you are estranged. They also said you only need to prove estrangement for 1 year.

This is the sum of what I've been told over the last 18 months of fighting this, however most of it came from just 1 or 2 phone calls. Most of the SFE people I spoke to just said solicitor, whereas very recently after I pestered and pestered they said they'd accept tutor references too. Apparently it isn't hard to prove estrangement and the chap I spoke to last week said he was very surprised that I hadn't been able to do so until I told him that I'd not been given all the information required.

You should have a financial welfare advisor at uni who's job it is to help with this stuff. I spoke to mine and she is putting together a case to send to them. It's letters from my siblings and a few things from the tax people, a couple of bank statements and rent agreements etc from where I have been living. She says that this usually puts them in their place and they'll cough up the cash!

Reply 11

denislaw

Original post by Jeevz

You were very badly advised by someone who didn't know there own procedures.
Not unusual at SFE
A solicitor's letter will suffice.

Reply 12

PwnArtist

The hassle I had doing this, it took phone call after phone call, I've been independent from my parents for over 4 years now, I worked 3 years full time and I'm now living with my fiancée. I don't have a doctor, or a social worker ect. they wouldn't even accept my P60, or even the fact my parents live 300 miles away and have done for 3 years is beyond me.

It took my support worker at my hostel to write to them, form a complaint and get legal advice before they would accept my independence/estrangement

Reply 13

Loolaa_x

Hey guys, I have been legally separated from my mum about 9 years ago and my dad moved away about a year ago... would the legal proof of my just my mum being separated from me be enough or will I need to prove seperation from my dad too? Really need help!!