not sure what to think about this guy..

during the summer i met boy going to the same uni as me on a website.. we chatted about uni.. just messaging each other every day. e.g. he'd leave a message, i'd reply (not msn or anything) the messages turned into big long paragraphs just talking about random things & uni.
Before he came to uni, he gave me his number to keep in contact for when i move to leeds and he said he doesn't have facebook. so i texted him, just saying heres my number etc. and ever since then he's been texting me everyday.. in a really friendly way though.. nothing flirty and nothing about relationships or going out together. i met him one day at uni, just to meet him in person, and i don't find him attractive, (i sound like a bitch but he really isn't my type at all) but i do still reply to his texts.
he doesn't text me constantly throughout the day.. but he'll text me in the morning and only text me when I reply to his message (which i do)..

one night, i was out on a night out and he was in my halls with other people and he was walking out with me and my friends.. my friend was chatting to him. and she asked him (infront of me) if he thinks im pretty and he said yeah. and i know that could just be because i'm there and he might not have wanted to no infront of me.

anyway, what should i do? i don't mind being his friend but i don't want him to think im interested in him in a "more of a friend" way..

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Reply 1

Anonymous #1

do you think he is just want to be my friend or wanting something more than friendship? he texts me every day... i'd prefer if it was like once every few days but it's every morning till i go to bed lol

Reply 2

Shortstack

Just seems normal to me. If the convo starts to get flirty or he starts to ask you out and things thats when you need to worry. But at the moment he just seems to be chatting with you

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Shortstack

Just seems normal to me. If the convo starts to get flirty or he starts to ask you out and things thats when you need to worry. But at the moment he just seems to be chatting with you

but it's every day? is that still normal (i'm a bit clueless when it comes to boys)

Reply 4

Shortstack

Original post by Anonymous

but it's every day? is that still normal (i'm a bit clueless when it comes to boys)

Wow you let some random guy come around and have sex with you everyday...

Hes probably got bored of it being on tap.

Reply 5

Shortstack

Okay i will give it to you in simple terms. If you let a guy have everything he wants (sex on tap) Why would he ever commit further to the relationship. Simple he doesn't he comes around for sex and goes.

He sees it as a transaction like going to the pub for a pint. Going to yours to have sex.

Reply 6

Ciaran88

Original post by Anonymous

but it's every day? is that still normal (i'm a bit clueless when it comes to boys)

Pretty normal if he really likes you, I would say it's enough to suggest he wants to be more than friends.

EDIT: There are some pretty inexplicable negs going around these days...

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

what? where did sex come into this???? i never said anything about having sex with him..

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Ciaran88

Pretty normal if he really likes you, I would say it's enough to suggest he wants to be more than friends.

so what should i do? keep replying to his texts or stop? or how could i show him that i only want to know him as a friend? i know i sound like a bitch but i really don't find him attractive

Reply 9

Ciaran88

Original post by Anonymous

so what should i do? keep replying to his texts or stop? or how could i show him that i only want to know him as a friend? i know i sound like a bitch but i really don't find him attractive

Well then just don't flirt back and slowly decrease the frequency you text back.

Reply 10

sr90

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

so what should i do? keep replying to his texts or stop? or how could i show him that i only want to know him as a friend? i know i sound like a bitch but i really don't find him attractive

Cutting contact is horrible. Do you even know for sure he likes you? He was hardly going to say no in front of you was he? Even if he does think you're pretty that doesn't guarentee anything. I can think of several girls I know who I've openly told that they're pretty, stunning, attractive etc but that doesn't mean I see them as anything more than friends. It could be something as simple as a confidence boost when she's feeling bad about herself.

He may just enjoy talking to you, which is why not replying is incredibly harsh. Again, I can think of several girls who are really fun to talk to and I love spending time with. I could easily spend hours talking to them because I love their company, not because I want to get in her pants.

Maybe just casually bring up a guy you're interested in or ask him about other girls. If you want to be sure he likes you maybe get one of your friends to casually mention it and see how he reacts. You don't sound bitchy at all for not being attracted to him, but you don't know for sure he feels the same way yet. To me it just sounds like two friends talking.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by sr90

thank you for this reply! the thing i was thinking though is why he texts me every morning.. i'll wake up to a message from him or if its not in the morning its like the middle of the day asking me how my day is going.. is that still "friendly"?
sorry if i sound daft! i don't really have any boys that are friends, so i don't know much about boys etc.. (i'm straight though)

Reply 12

JinnJamez

Original post by Ciaran88

Pretty normal if he really likes you, I would say it's enough to suggest he wants to be more than friends.

EDIT: There are some pretty inexplicable negs going around these days...

Just doin' my job bro.

Reply 13

sr90

Volunteer Team

Original post by Anonymous

Aww

No there's nothing wrong with that at all. He could be just as clueless about girls, its not an uncommon position to be in. I'm sure you'll meet some decent guys at uni, we aren't all just after one thing!

It depends how close you are really. If you've just met then yes, that is a bit too far and a warning sign. If you've been talking for ages and have got to know each other on a reasonable level I see no harm in it though, I send texts like that to my friends because I'm genuinely interested, but not every single day! Every morning is a bit excessive though. How long has he been doing that?

Unless he starts getting overly flirty I wouldn't worry for now. I would try and find out if he likes you though, as there's nothing worse than being led on.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by sr90

Aww

haha thanks!
well, we have been talking since before results day on a website. so like he'd send a message and i'd reply.. whether that was the same day, next day or a few days later it kept going. that's why i didn't mind keeping in touch with him through texts when we started uni. i met him in person and just had a walk around, and then about a week later i seen him on a night out.
if its not in the morning it's later on in the day.. i don't know what to think of it. i don't want to be rude and not reply but then i'd prefer him to leave it a few days then text.. any suggestions on how it can be like that rather than everyday? and if i reply not asking a question or something he'll reply asking me things.. you know to keep the conversation going. he isn't the annoying type though, like if i don't text back straight away he won't text again, (some people do that )

Reply 15

Shortstack

Sorry about the sex i posted in the wrong topic :P

It's too hard to say. He could just be lonely and trying to make friends. Or he could fancy the pants off you. Until he starts openly flirting/trying to ask you out on a date i would just carry on with what your doing. The moment you feel he is stepping over the friendship line then you tell him.

Do not follow the advice of getting your friends to ask if he likes you/asking if there are any girls he likes. This could easily backfire and leave him thinking you fancy him.

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by Shortstack

ok, thanks for the advice!

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

i don't mind him texting me, but does the fact that he texts me every day mean something? or is he just being friendly?

Reply 18

Deyesy

Original post by Anonymous

i don't mind him texting me, but does the fact that he texts me every day mean something? or is he just being friendly?

If it's just normal things, I would honestly just say he's being friendly

Reply 19

Anonymous #2

Gosh you're full of yourself aren't you? Just because he chats with you all day and said you were pretty while you were there? What did you expect him to say? That you look like shrek? Geez woman. It's so obvious the main reason you're thinking like this is because you envisioned him looking like something else before you met him. Really now? You pick your friends on how they look? People like you sicken me.