The Student Room Group

Is this relationship worth staying in?

Ok so apologies for the length of this in advance, i'll do bullet points to make it easier to read: (if you must just skim read, sorry for huge block of text)

- Firstly, I do love her so much, and I cant imagine being with anyone else and i want to have a future with her - but it's getting out of hand now.
- Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for nearly a year now
- About 6 months ago she became extremely smothering, controlling and jealous
- Now it's gotten to the stage where we fight every single day really badly over the smallest things
- She's so jealous that we fight if I go shopping with my dad and recognise one of our friends, who happens to be female.
- I'm not allowed to watch basically any TV shows except cartoons, and any programme i want to watch HAS to be passed by her; films like American Pie are forbidden and if I go to my friends house and they decide to watch it i have to go home.
- We fought over me playing GTA because apparently it's all about half naked girls (though i did explain how i simply mess around with mods) but admittedly she's apologized for this
- Facebook - I'm never ever ever allowed on, if i go on when i'm talking to her she flips out, and apparently the only time I'm allowed on is when she's out somewhere (but even then I shouldn't go on). Should also add she goes on when i'm out but I'm not allowed when she's out.
- I'm not allowed to talk to girls at all in short
- Not allowed to browse internet because of possible images that might come up
- Can't watch music videos in case theres a split second of a half-dressed girl in which case she goes ballistic
- Btw I go to a boys school and have had relatively little (not none though) experience with girls. She on the other hand is one of those really hot popular girls who's had far more relationship experience than me, and admitted to flirting with half her school which is mived (and they flirt back). But apparently this doesnt stop her from accusing me of being really close to ****loads of girls.
- I once sent a happy birthday message to someone saying 'it's been ages [since we talked] :biggrin:' and we fought for days because she's jealous of the girl who i've known for years and since then she has referred to me as a 'beg' for girls
- I HAVE to look away from the screen if theres a girl dressed inappropriately, preferably i should change the channel.
- Currently she's calling me a really s*** boyfriend because apparently Deal or no Deal is full of sluts wearing low tops and I don't look away from them.
- I wanted to do half an hour texts on weekdays after school (as opposed to 5 minute texts) and she flips out about that claiming we never talk
- the idea of 'me time' is imaginary to her, she thinks every free second should be spent talking with each other
- She was insecure about me wanting to be an Actuary (basically an office job, some people argue its really boring) in case i 'had to talk to females and theyd be dressing slutilly and would want to have sex with me' [even though she wants to be a high school teacher, which i don't have a problem with, but all the guys will be perving on her]
- All my moves are monitored to the minute. If i take more than 15 minutes to eat a meal, even if i take 16 minutes, we fight for hours about me taking too long to eat. Same goes with showering.
- We already fight about when i go to university next year and how much she thinks i'm going to start having sex with other girls or whatever (note i've rarely ever been hit on by girls at all, whereas she's lost track of how many guys have asked her out, let alone hit on her).

Theres probably twice as many things i've left out, but i think you get the general idea... she's becoming ridiculously controlling and jealous. I trust her despite her 'past' and despite how she would never ever trust me to be in her position. How can i show her that she's being too smothering and jealous? thanks in advance :frown:

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Reply 1
"I'm not allowed to watch basically any TV"

Lol I stopped right here.

yeah bro, get the **** out of this relationship.
Reply 2
tbh man she sounds a few chips short of a happy meal
id cut my losses it sounds like she wants a pet not a bf
sry for sounding harsh but are u happy? and she has no right to be contradicitng and sry to use the old quote but distance does make the heart grow fonder even if its an extra 10 mins in the shower =]
u dont deserve that crap mate
Not worth it.
Just cos you love someone it doesn't always mean it's meant to work out.
Tell her you need her to stop being like this and if she persists I'd seriously finish it, that's your whole life limited to the whims of one girl who you may/may not end up with forever.
Reply 4
whaaaat thhhhhhheeeeeee heeeell.... i just read this to my boyf... he told me if did anything like one of those things he'd shoot me (his words)...
my opinion is...
run... for the hills.. as fast as you can!
Reply 5
Grow a pair of balls. You allow yourself to be controlled like this? It's ridiculous. You must be a laughing stock.

Get out, dump her. Or don't let her control you like this.

My gf is controlling, but in a loving way. Your gf sounds like a psycho. Reflects pretty badly on you, tbh.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 6
:bricks:

You are enduring this sh** for abt 6 months now ?? :clap2: You're a bit maso, right?

I must admit that my toenails crinkled after the first third of it so I stopped reading.

You want to have a future with THAT ??

Seriously, get out of there, and give her the phone number of a therapist.
Reply 7
This girl is crazy. Get out of the relationship straight away. She's a paranoid, controlling cow. You're gunna have a great time at uni, you don't need this, or her.

Don't feel guilty or unsure - just dump her.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
Theres probably twice as many things i've left out, but i think you get the general :frown:



Ummm you kinda need to break up with her....ASAP. A person only learns that the'r out of control once thet've lost something they love I.E you. You can't call this a relationship.
Reply 9
You have got to be ****ing kidding me.

Get. Out. Now.

I don't care how hot she is, she sounds mental. I mean, getting mad because of how long you take to eat? Sounds like she ain't got one screw fully tightened.

I hope you get out and one day look back on how ridiculous this all is. Seriously.
Reply 10
After giving this a read, it seems more and more like a troll attempt.

Theres no ****ing way this is real. I mean come on...can't watch music videos? Cant go out with dad and meet friends? constant criticism? are you ****ing kidding me?
Original post by .eXe
After giving this a read, it seems more and more like a troll attempt.

Theres no ****ing way this is real. I mean come on...can't watch music videos? Cant go out with dad and meet friends? constant criticism? are you ****ing kidding me?


If it's a troll then it's a good one, I was about to reply until I reached your post.

There are women that mental, though. But don't know about guys taking that much ****.
Reply 12
Original post by little_ladyy
If it's a troll then it's a good one, I was about to reply until I reached your post.

There are women that mental, though. But don't know about guys taking that much ****.


exactly! If as a guy you can put up with this kinda nonsense for so long, then you should be awarded a medal...and possibly have your manhood taken away for being such a tool lol.
Original post by .eXe
exactly! If as a guy you can put up with this kinda nonsense for so long, then you should be awarded a medal...and possibly have your manhood taken away for being such a tool lol.


at least a 'doormat of the year' award he should get LOL
OP, can you please list the good things about her and your relationship? Then TSR can help you weigh out the pros and cons. I'm serious, I really want to see this list.
Reply 15
Original post by Anonymous
Ok so apologies for the length of this in advance, i'll do bullet points to make it easier to read: (if you must just skim read, sorry for huge block of text)

- Firstly, I do love her so much, and I cant imagine being with anyone else and i want to have a future with her - but it's getting out of hand now.
- Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for nearly a year now
- About 6 months ago she became extremely smothering, controlling and jealous
- Now it's gotten to the stage where we fight every single day really badly over the smallest things
- She's so jealous that we fight if I go shopping with my dad and recognise one of our friends, who happens to be female.
- I'm not allowed to watch basically any TV shows except cartoons, and any programme i want to watch HAS to be passed by her; films like American Pie are forbidden and if I go to my friends house and they decide to watch it i have to go home.
- We fought over me playing GTA because apparently it's all about half naked girls (though i did explain how i simply mess around with mods) but admittedly she's apologized for this
- Facebook - I'm never ever ever allowed on, if i go on when i'm talking to her she flips out, and apparently the only time I'm allowed on is when she's out somewhere (but even then I shouldn't go on). Should also add she goes on when i'm out but I'm not allowed when she's out.
- I'm not allowed to talk to girls at all in short
- Not allowed to browse internet because of possible images that might come up
- Can't watch music videos in case theres a split second of a half-dressed girl in which case she goes ballistic
- Btw I go to a boys school and have had relatively little (not none though) experience with girls. She on the other hand is one of those really hot popular girls who's had far more relationship experience than me, and admitted to flirting with half her school which is mived (and they flirt back). But apparently this doesnt stop her from accusing me of being really close to ****loads of girls.
- I once sent a happy birthday message to someone saying 'it's been ages [since we talked] :biggrin:' and we fought for days because she's jealous of the girl who i've known for years and since then she has referred to me as a 'beg' for girls
- I HAVE to look away from the screen if theres a girl dressed inappropriately, preferably i should change the channel.
- Currently she's calling me a really s*** boyfriend because apparently Deal or no Deal is full of sluts wearing low tops and I don't look away from them.
- I wanted to do half an hour texts on weekdays after school (as opposed to 5 minute texts) and she flips out about that claiming we never talk
- the idea of 'me time' is imaginary to her, she thinks every free second should be spent talking with each other
- She was insecure about me wanting to be an Actuary (basically an office job, some people argue its really boring) in case i 'had to talk to females and theyd be dressing slutilly and would want to have sex with me' [even though she wants to be a high school teacher, which i don't have a problem with, but all the guys will be perving on her]
- All my moves are monitored to the minute. If i take more than 15 minutes to eat a meal, even if i take 16 minutes, we fight for hours about me taking too long to eat. Same goes with showering.
- We already fight about when i go to university next year and how much she thinks i'm going to start having sex with other girls or whatever (note i've rarely ever been hit on by girls at all, whereas she's lost track of how many guys have asked her out, let alone hit on her).

Theres probably twice as many things i've left out, but i think you get the general idea... she's becoming ridiculously controlling and jealous. I trust her despite her 'past' and despite how she would never ever trust me to be in her position. How can i show her that she's being too smothering and jealous? thanks in advance :frown:


2 things

how old are u both?

You obviously know what to do, if you're not exaggerating
You've been going through this for six months and you're still asking whether to stay with her or not? Guy, GTFO!
Original post by Anonymous
Ok so apologies for the length of this in advance, i'll do bullet points to make it easier to read: (if you must just skim read, sorry for huge block of text)

- Firstly, I do love her so much, and I cant imagine being with anyone else and i want to have a future with her - but it's getting out of hand now.
- Me and my girlfriend have been in a relationship for nearly a year now
- About 6 months ago she became extremely smothering, controlling and jealous
- Now it's gotten to the stage where we fight every single day really badly over the smallest things
- She's so jealous that we fight if I go shopping with my dad and recognise one of our friends, who happens to be female.
- I'm not allowed to watch basically any TV shows except cartoons, and any programme i want to watch HAS to be passed by her; films like American Pie are forbidden and if I go to my friends house and they decide to watch it i have to go home.
- We fought over me playing GTA because apparently it's all about half naked girls (though i did explain how i simply mess around with mods) but admittedly she's apologized for this
- Facebook - I'm never ever ever allowed on, if i go on when i'm talking to her she flips out, and apparently the only time I'm allowed on is when she's out somewhere (but even then I shouldn't go on). Should also add she goes on when i'm out but I'm not allowed when she's out.
- I'm not allowed to talk to girls at all in short
- Not allowed to browse internet because of possible images that might come up
- Can't watch music videos in case theres a split second of a half-dressed girl in which case she goes ballistic
- Btw I go to a boys school and have had relatively little (not none though) experience with girls. She on the other hand is one of those really hot popular girls who's had far more relationship experience than me, and admitted to flirting with half her school which is mived (and they flirt back). But apparently this doesnt stop her from accusing me of being really close to ****loads of girls.
- I once sent a happy birthday message to someone saying 'it's been ages [since we talked] :biggrin:' and we fought for days because she's jealous of the girl who i've known for years and since then she has referred to me as a 'beg' for girls
- I HAVE to look away from the screen if theres a girl dressed inappropriately, preferably i should change the channel.
- Currently she's calling me a really s*** boyfriend because apparently Deal or no Deal is full of sluts wearing low tops and I don't look away from them.
- I wanted to do half an hour texts on weekdays after school (as opposed to 5 minute texts) and she flips out about that claiming we never talk
- the idea of 'me time' is imaginary to her, she thinks every free second should be spent talking with each other
- She was insecure about me wanting to be an Actuary (basically an office job, some people argue its really boring) in case i 'had to talk to females and theyd be dressing slutilly and would want to have sex with me' [even though she wants to be a high school teacher, which i don't have a problem with, but all the guys will be perving on her]
- All my moves are monitored to the minute. If i take more than 15 minutes to eat a meal, even if i take 16 minutes, we fight for hours about me taking too long to eat. Same goes with showering.
- We already fight about when i go to university next year and how much she thinks i'm going to start having sex with other girls or whatever (note i've rarely ever been hit on by girls at all, whereas she's lost track of how many guys have asked her out, let alone hit on her).

Theres probably twice as many things i've left out, but i think you get the general idea... she's becoming ridiculously controlling and jealous. I trust her despite her 'past' and despite how she would never ever trust me to be in her position. How can i show her that she's being too smothering and jealous? thanks in advance :frown:


Having spent over 4 years in a controlling relationship all I can say is...GET OUT NOW!
I had to put up with the same stuff and it just erodes your self esteem, seriously, it will get to the point where you can no longer think for yourself as you are reliant on your gf to decide where you go and what films you watch etc.

One of the many "highlights" for me was watching Pirates of the Carribbean on dvd, my gf starts feeling me up, so naturally I start to get hard...then she accuses me of getting hard because Keira Knightly happens to be on the screen at that point and we then spend the whole evening arguing. Utter madness!

My advice is to either just leave or tell her that she HAS to change or you will leave and actually follow through on this if she doesn't.
Original post by Anonymous
Having spent over 4 years in a controlling relationship all I can say is...GET OUT NOW!
I had to put up with the same stuff and it just erodes your self esteem, seriously, it will get to the point where you can no longer think for yourself as you are reliant on your gf to decide where you go and what films you watch etc.

One of the many "highlights" for me was watching Pirates of the Carribbean on dvd, my gf starts feeling me up, so naturally I start to get hard...then she accuses me of getting hard because Keira Knightly happens to be on the screen at that point and we then spend the whole evening arguing. Utter madness!

My advice is to either just leave or tell her that she HAS to change or you will leave and actually follow through on this if she doesn't.


OT but I must admit that I give a *** what my bf thinks of and looks at to get hard, as long as he does get hard and does **** me with his **** :biggrin:
Seriously, how can you put up with gf's who are that jealous.
The girl in question sounds like a right nutter tbh. Dump her crazy arse.

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