Is this relationship worth staying in?

Boobies are boobies, but she's going way too far. Total projection too, since she flirts with everyone. You should dump her and say it's because she's being unfaithful.

Reply 21

.eXe

11

tell her she's ugly and only the desperate ones ask her out cause they know she's easy

destroy her self esteem and then dump the bitch. that way, she will think twice about screwing with another guy like this.

that is of course....if this isnt a huge troll :tongue:

Reply 22

Pudz

This just cannot be for real. No one would put up with someone that controlling and jealous, if my gf had a go at me for eating too slow or told me what I could or couldn't watch... Well you just wouldn't put up with that nonsense.

Can't honestly take this seriously seems too farfetched for me.

Reply 23

little_ladyy

Original post by Pudz

This just cannot be for real. No one would put up with someone that controlling and jealous, if my gf had a go at me for eating too slow or told me what I could or couldn't watch... Well you just wouldn't put up with that nonsense.

Can't honestly take this seriously seems too farfetched for me.

I am afraid it is possible. I is a slow process, it does not happen overnight, you slide in slowly. And one day you wake up and can't believe the nightmare you're in. I have been there.

Reply 24

sweeter than a cherry pie

13

Wow, she sounds like an absolute psycho. I think you should tell her to sort herself out or you'll leave. This really doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. :/

Reply 25

Future African game vet

11

I'm sorry but that's just not on at all.
She sounds a little... neurotic? Surely you should be able to lead your own life without all of these restrictions?
As a couple I believe you should be willing to compromise on somethings in order to live peacefully, but not when someone is making demands like that - it's just not realistic at all. Life should be fun, and you should enjoy being with your partner, just ask yourself - Do you have fun with her? Do you enjoy being around her when shes like this? Could you spend the rest of your days living like that?
My guess would be no.
Sit her down and talk it out- give her a chance to calm down, but if she shows no signs of compromising with you then I don't think it's worth sticking with.

good luck x

Reply 26

gloriousballs

Grow a pair and tell her to put down the whip or get the fack out before you're forced to move continent because a crazy female psychopath is trying to take you down with her arguing 'if i can't have you, nobody can.'

Seriously tho, i do feel for you man.

Reply 27

Sazzy890

18

If she is that controlling and possessive and it is clearly making you unhappy, and clearly putting strain on your relationship... no, it's not worth staying in and personally I don't think it could even be salvaged. I think you knew this answer yourself but just wanted some confirmation.

Reply 28

gloriousballs

I think you'd be happier living in North Korea than with her. Might get some more freedom too.

Reply 29

sarah_who

Original post by Anonymous

. How can i show her that she's being too smothering and jealous? thanks in advance :frown:

I'd say the only thing is a clear break. Leave her. No talk, no second chance. (but of course say why)

She will not be able to adjust, and as with drug abusers she'll not change as long as you stay around. She might promise, but she will not try really hard -until you really leave her -and stay away. The rest is her life.

You need to get out asap, no other way. And you know.

She needs counselling -but if she actually does is her probs, not yours.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 30

serenerabbit

Im not a student and i am 33, i have been in the same situation, and for the people that think its not real, im afraid its very real.

If i had not been in the same situation i would be thinking the same thing after reading the ot's post, there is no way i would put up with that.

However it doesnt happen straight away, it creeps up on you slowly until you get to the breaking point and then you start to realise just how bad things are.

You start off by really enjoying each others company, and she shows a little insecurity so you do what you can to appease her, and then she needs something more to feel secure so you give ini again, before you know it youve given up everything you enjoy doing because she makes you feel as though youre hurting her, and thats the last thing you want to do.

I was in the same position, couldnt watch movies with attractive females in, didnt even need to be naked, like you say american pie might as well have been a pornographic movie to her, i wasnt able to watch james bond, she caught me watching it on my laptop one day and threw it against the wall.

It doesnt get any better my friend it only gets worse MUCH worse.

Let me ask you a couple of questions

1. Is she hot i mean really hot (mine was)
2. Is the sex (or was it at first) out of this world?
3. Has she isolated you from friends and family
4. Does she love you one minute then hate you the next?
5. Can she go from being nice one minute to a raving monster the next?
6. If you confront her about her behaviour does she make you think youre overreacting?

If you answer yes to these then you could be dealing with somebody with BPD borderline personality disorder, and if she has this then youre in big trouble and i would advise you run like hell, unless youre into pain BIG TIME, because youre in for the biggest roller coaster in your life.

Im not a professional and cant advise you

Read the below article and see if any of this rings true

http://gettinbetter.com/waif.html

I ended up leaving her as i couldnt take it any longer, i was experiencing the most severe head aches imaginable, it will do you mentally, and physically a lot of harm to stay in a relationship like this.

Good luck my friend and i hope things work out for you

Nice gravedig...

OP

hey guys...
i know it's been stupidly long and youve all probably forgotten about this thread long ago, but...i've just broken up with her :frown:

so much of the things i listed back then have changed i.e.: I don't have to tell her when i eat, she doesn't flip out as much etc etc, generally she's changed so much and i'm so grateful, but it just wasn't feeling right for a long time, i could never bring myself round to do it properly since my feelings for her were so strong, but...i've finally done it but it hasn't sunk in yet :confused:

any advice on how I should carry on? I've turned off my phone so she can't contact me, i told her honestly the reasons and i tried to be a nice as possible and didn't try and put the blame on her...99% certain she's messaging me now trying to convince me to change my mind, how do i make sure i don't give in again :frown:

thanks

Reply 33

April.barton

Okay, this is a girls opinion and im nothing like that just so you know

when you're in a relationship with someone you shouldnt be controlling, its all about trust, she is obviously being too controlling and has no reason to if you haven't done anything to hurt her, also shes trying to change everything you do, if you genuinly love someone you would never change them, you would love them for who they are

Reply 34

goldilocksa

6

Original post by Anonymous

hey guys...
i know it's been stupidly long and youve all probably forgotten about this thread long ago, but...i've just broken up with her :frown:

so much of the things i listed back then have changed i.e.: I don't have to tell her when i eat, she doesn't flip out as much etc etc, generally she's changed so much and i'm so grateful, but it just wasn't feeling right for a long time, i could never bring myself round to do it properly since my feelings for her were so strong, but...i've finally done it but it hasn't sunk in yet :confused:

any advice on how I should carry on? I've turned off my phone so she can't contact me, i told her honestly the reasons and i tried to be a nice as possible and didn't try and put the blame on her...99% certain she's messaging me now trying to convince me to change my mind, how do i make sure i don't give in again :frown:

thanks

Read the list of reasons on why you were doubting the relationship in your first post, and make a list of the things that have improved/things you can now do without worrying about her becoming possessive
And watch some Keira Knightley safe in the knowledge that you have that freedom- watching her always cheers my bf up :smile:

Good luck and I really hope you get better over time x

Reply 35

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by goldilocksa

Read the list of reasons on why you were doubting the relationship in your first post, and make a list of the things that have improved/things you can now do without worrying about her becoming possessive
And watch some Keira Knightley safe in the knowledge that you have that freedom- watching her always cheers my bf up :smile:

Good luck and I really hope you get better over time x

she had improved so much, it meant so so much to me, but it had gotten to the point where neither of us were happy and we were both denying it :frown:

it wasn't so much because of the whole freedom thing, i guess i've been in this relationship too long to break up just over that, just the general atmosphere in the relationship was deteriorating...thanks for the advice though :redface:

Reply 36

Anonymous #1

OP

guys, i turned my phone back on and there were about 50+ messages from her, shes saying that this is all like a bad dream and that she's thrown up twice and that she's sleeping now, and she's going to act like everythings normal every day in the hope that it'll be back to normal...how do I act about this its so hard :frown:

Reply 37

fiona_x

Delete/block her number, maybe send a message first saying that a clean break is best and you wish her the best or something along those lines. After that, do NOT contact her, it will just hurt you both. It's so much harder to move on if the other person is still around.

Feel free to PM if you need to talk :smile:

Reply 38

mirageous

Agreed, it's tough but keep remembering why you did it and NO CONTACT.

Also re-reading the thread and would just like to point out this gem...

Original post by serenerabbit

Let me ask you a couple of questions

1. Is she hot i mean really hot (mine was)
2. Is the sex (or was it at first) out of this world?
3. Has she isolated you from friends and family
4. Does she love you one minute then hate you the next?
5. Can she go from being nice one minute to a raving monster the next?
6. If you confront her about her behaviour does she make you think youre overreacting?

If you answer yes to these then you could be dealing with somebody with BPD borderline personality disorder, and if she has this then youre in big trouble and i would advise you run like hell, unless youre into pain BIG TIME, because youre in for the biggest roller coaster in your life.

Lolz.

Is this relationship worth staying in?

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