Getting someone to notice you?

Hey I've been at uni about 2 weeks now and really fancy this guy in the block next to mine, thing is though that he isnt on my course or anything and he doesn't really seem to notice me. I did speak to him once, when we were both drunk, asking if he was gay because he only hangs out with boys, but he denied it. I have no excuse to go and talk to him, how do I get the ball rolling?!

Reply 1

catjaum

nest time you see him, give him a flash..... that should get the ball rolling...

Reply 2

Lucia.

Ask him a question which you already clearly know the answer to e.g. directions to somewhere. This will help start up a conversation even if you have nothing to say. Definitely talk to him sober if you want to chat him up, because guys tend to appreciate this more.

Also don't worry about him not noticing you. You just need to project personality so he can get to know the real you. :smile:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 3

Nepene

Original post by Anonymous

Are you cute? If you are, you don't need an excuse.

Reply 4

Misnomer

First off, are you male or female?

Reply 5

AidanKD

Carry on from where you left off...

"so....you're not gay? :wink:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

Original post by Nepene

Are you cute? If you are, you don't need an excuse.

Original post by Misnomer

First off, are you male or female?

Female! And I've seen cute girls try talking to him before and he doesn't really take any notice.. I don't really know how other people see me, but I've got off with a few of his friends so I don't imagine I'm hideous...

Maybe he is just gay?

Reply 7

Chloe12345

Asking someone if they're gay isn't the most friendly way to speak to someone for the first time. Maybe try being less intrusive, also a girl that has 'got off with a few of his friends' might appear a bit....you know.

Reply 8

alawhisp

Original post by Anonymous

Or maybe he just doesn't think you're a viable prospect as getting drunk, asking him if he is gay, and getting off with his friends isn't really that promising.

Not fancying you ≠ they are gay.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by alawhisp

Or maybe he just doesn't think you're a viable prospect as getting drunk, asking him if he is gay, and getting off with his friends isn't really that promising.

Not fancying you ≠ they are gay.

I meant the fact that he doesn't seem to talk to girls at all, even cute ones who flirt with him (i.e. not me). And btw, he gets drunk every night and pretends to bum guys, so I can't see that he'd be judging me based on that.

Honestly, some people on here are so patronising...

Reply 10

chickenonsteroids

Ask him what he enjoys about his course, try to find a common interest. The simple things will keep you in his mind, but obviously keep it fairly consistant.

Reply 11

alawhisp

Original post by Anonymous

I'm not patronising you. There could be a ton of reasons he isn't talking to girls or hitting on you. Yes, he could be gay. He could be asexual. He might not be interested in pursuing a relationship/casual sex. He might not be attracted to conventionally "cute" girls. Strangers on TSR have absolutely no way of knowing what his reasons are, we can only assume based on what you have written.

Just talk to him if you're interested, you don't need an excuse to do so.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

Original post by alawhisp

Ok I'm sorry, I didnt mean to snap. Just everyone here seems to have me labelled as some bimbo slut so any reference to it tends to nark me a bit. I'm not like that at all, I'm awkward and chubby and a bit slow, and quite easily taken advantage of. I guess that's why I don't want to talk to him:
a) I don't wanna look like I'm trying to attract even more male attention, making me look like a bigger slut and
b) I don't want him to realise how shy and awkward I am and be put off completely, if he hasn't been already.

Reply 13

alawhisp

Original post by Anonymous

No harm done :smile:

- you didn't give much information so people will jump on that kind of thing, yes.

If you hang around with his friendship group you have an "in" to talk to him.. Nothing wrong with having a couple of drinks to relax you a bit, but drunk people can sometimes be overbearing. Don't stress about it though, you've only been at uni for a couple of weeks, and his lack of interest might not be through any fault of your own. There will be plenty of chaps around who might be interested in you :smile:

Don't keep flogging a dead horse, if that's what it is.