Muslims that still live with parents + going out

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People need to get off this 'YOLO' hype and fix theirselves up.
Youts these days have lost the plot!

says the guy who still believes in fairies and demons

grow up man, allah isn't real

edit: what's with all the anonymous posters? you can't hide from allah haha

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 181

username418231

Original post by Besakt

You can look at this from two points of view.

1. They are controlling freaks out to destroy your social life with a rocket launcher.

2. They just want the best for you stay out of terrible stay in good health successful etc..

Parents look at it from the second point of view whereas most sons and daughters look at it from the first view point.

Ok fine but that's no excuse for dictating their kids' lives. Their kids will become adults, and so they will have to learn to be responsible. They can't have their parents always overly controlling them, treating them like kids and not trusting them.

Reply 182

rolldeep786

Original post by pube

says the guy who still believes in fairies and demons

grow up man, allah isn't real

edit: what's with all the anonymous posters? you can't hide from allah haha

fairies and demons? what are you on about?

Can i ask if you've ever even looked into whether Allah is real or not?

Most likely you're one of them that doesn't care. As long as you're happy getting drunk, not remembering what happened the night before (probably anal rape) then its all good my friend.

Reply 183

rolldeep786

Original post by Dee Leigh

when you're 18 you've not experienced anything of life that demands you should be treated as an adult. Just because the 'parents' (government) of society say 18 is being an adult doesn't mean you are. why should you follow the rules of the government and not the rule of your parents? their house, their rules. your house your rules.

Reply 184

username418231

Original post by rolldeep786

Of course I understand that. But I rather be treated like an adult (especially when many family members insist on an 18 year old acting like one - I do anyway) instead of a subordinate member in a dictatorship tbh. It's important to respect parents but that should always go both ways, and it should be possible to reason with them.

Usually the best way to achieve this is to move out ASAP, but this can be impossible for those who can't move out due to cultural reasons tbh, which is rather unreasonable.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 185

rolldeep786

Original post by Dee Leigh

when they insist on you acting like an adult its because you're behaving as a child. when you ARE acting like and adult then they wouldn't need to insist you act like one? do you get what i mean.

i don't think a parent caring about where their child is, or who they are with is a dictatorship? they only ask because they have the childs best interest at heart. okay you get the mad parents that are hypocrites too, but even they are like that because they probably never received that kind of care as a child....? least thats what i think anyway.

plus its more a cultural thing rather than it being a islamic thing.

(thanks for the neg rep, you guys think i actually give a rats bottom about it haha) must be maddd!!!

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 186

username418231

Original post by rolldeep786

when they insist on you acting like an adult its because you're behaving as a child. when you ARE acting like and adult then they wouldn't need to insist you act like one? do you get what i mean.

i don't a parent caring about where their child is, or who they are with is a dictatorship? they only ask because they have the childs best interest at heart. okay you get the mad parents that are hypocrites too, but even they are like that because they probably never received that kind of care as a child....? least thats what i think anyway.

plus its more a cultural thing rather than it being a islamic thing.

Erm did you not see my previous posts? I don't act like a child, I act like an adult. I have a lot I'm responsible for and I'm gradually becoming a bit more independent. I would prefer it if adults treated me like an adult rather than treating me like a young person who doesn't know anything. Yes I'm young but I'm not stupid, though I can be too sceptical at times. It's kind of a culutral thing where a child and young person aren't expected to have opinions, that's what the problem is. The problem doesn't lie with me, it lies with them. My parents and I are okay, they are fine with me.

Anyway this is confusing and a lot more complicated than I am saying. I am 19, therefore an adult, and so I should be treated like one. I'm not a child anymore and that is that. I prefer respect; if my parents had/have no respect for me, then fine, I have no respect for them. Respect goes both ways and and I am not willing to respect someone when they don't respect me, I don't care who they are. I am a responsible person who is smart and has morals. I am very much away of right and wrong and limits and boundaries. For example, the issue of alcohol - my parents don't really want me drinking much/at all, but I drink anyway. I've never been drunk. I know that when I go out, if I am going to be drinking I must be responsible. I know that if I cannot be responsible with alcohol I shall not drink at all. When I'm with friends I usually drink a little bit. That's my choice and it has done me now harm at all, I can be responsible and I'm not stupid to go arounf getting myself totally drunk and having one night stands. I'm old enough (legally) to be drinking, and smart and responsible enough to get drunk. If my parents can't trust me on that then that's their problem not mine. I'd like to be in control and I know myself (better than anyone knows me) and I am not stupid. I don't do stupid rebellious things like what most people I know do. Like I said, I am an adult, I act like one, therefore I deserve to be treated like one.

Sorry I seem to be rambling on... :erm:

And yes it is a cultural thing. And I'm not even Asian btw.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 187

username418231

Original post by rolldeep786

I didn't give you neg rep.

Oh well, neggers gonna neg. Someone negged me for saying something they disagreed with, when really it was more fact. But I don't give a damn to be honest.

Reply 188

Chloe xxx

Original post by pube

ex-muslim living in a muslim house here. yeah you'll love uni. used to tell my parents i'm staying at a muslim friends house to pray when really i just went out and got drunk/high.

when i'm in uni i can just relax and get high in peace in my tiny ass room. no need to buy whitening eye drops, no need to get paranoid every time i get home and raid the **** out of that fridge. and i can get drunk, gamble and do all sorts of haram activities without my mum breathing down my neck. when i'm back in london though it's a different story..

if i wanna go to a party or stay at a girls house i gotta make my excuses 2-3 days in advance, rofl.. but yeah i look at my white friends and just wish i didn't have muslim parents, life would be so much easier

HAHAHAHHA I cannot wait until some of TSR muslims get hold of this fine little nugget.

Reply 189

Besakt

Original post by Anonymous

But surely it's unreasonable for parents to restrict their son or daughter's social life to such an extent?

I'm not saying it is right or wrong, if a parent raises their child like this. All I'm saying is if you look at it from the parents point of view they are only trying to "protect" their children and only have the best intentions at heart.

Original post by Dee Leigh

As the other poster said age is irrelevant when you turn 18 a magic fairy doesn't appear and make you act mature does it. You only need to have a look at freshers week to see some of the stupid life-threatening things 18 year olds do which is completely irresponsible.

Also I am not a parent so I cannot speak from experience but I'm guessing it is pretty difficult seeing your son/daughter grow up and become independent this may be a reason why they feel the need to "dictate" their lives.

I'm sure if an 18 year old or any aged childe demonstrates he/she can behave as an adult then that attitude will be mutual. I have given a large amount of independence compared to alot of Asians from a very early age but also a lot of responsibility. My sisters are the same and I think that is because we have demonstrated we are responsible.

Reply 190

Reform

Original post by Chloe xxx

HAHAHAHHA I cannot wait until some of TSR muslims get hold of this fine little nugget.

It doesn't really matter what we think tbh. In the end, it's him who'll be in loss.

Laugh now cry later.

Reply 191

sophia_

Original post by Anonymous

I'm an 18 year old girl living with muslim parents (I plan to move out for uni though) and was interested to hear curfews and rules from others with muslim parents. I just want to say that I myself do not consider myself a strict muslim. I believe in God but I'm not sure I agree with a lot of muslim rules etc. My parents don't pray, my dad drinks, but they've always been kinda strict with my sister and me. I have to let them know a couple of days before I go out where I'm going, when I'll be back, and sometimes they'll say I can't go for practically no reason. When I was 16 they wouldn't let me go out for a meal with friends at 6pm on a Friday because the city centre would be full of 'drunk hooligans'. I'm allowed out occasionally until around 10pm with friends if I'm going out for a meal or something, but they seem pretty intrusive with it and I can tell they don't approve. (My dad often asks why I don't just go out earlier). :rolleyes:

Which rules do you not agree with?

Reply 192

Besakt

Original post by pube

You have no cojones.

Reply 193

Anonymous #14

At least you're allowed out at all. Recently, my parents let my younger sibling go out and do stuff I wasn't allowed to at that age (nothing bad, just casually going out with friends) and even when they came back an hour after the'd said and never called to say anything, nothing happened. All through life going out has been one massive issue which requires I inform them at least a week in advance, and every possible outcome is covered. As ever, the community/gossip/shame issue comes up all the time. What sucks is now that my younger sibling goes out, they have no real excuse to stop me, so lo and behold, one day I was supposed to go somewhere in the day with friends, and about an hour before I go, my dad pulls out this wack excuse: 'I saw your friend in a mini skirt'. I doubt that was the case, but even if it was, wth does it have to do with me? And no sleepovers/visiting friends house allowed. In the past year, I have gone out exactly ONCE with friends, and even that was generous of them.

CANNOT WAIT TIL UNI. I WILL BE FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Until the term ends, and I come back.

BTW, I'm a girl in yr11.

Reply 194

username418231

Original post by Besakt

Well of course it doesn't. But I'm not like all the young adults who act stupidly on Freshers' Week. I'm mature and I'm smart and responsible, but then again, that's how my parents rasied me. They've always raised me like that so that's how (inevitably) I turned out, so from a young age I've always been that way.

Original post by Besakt

Also I am not a parent so I cannot speak from experience but I'm guessing it is pretty difficult seeing your son/daughter grow up and become independent this may be a reason why they feel the need to "dictate" their lives.

Well then that's stupid. It's not easy but we all have to grow up and go out into the world and become independent, and parents have to accept this.

Original post by Besakt

I'm sure if an 18 year old or any aged childe demonstrates he/she can behave as an adult then that attitude will be mutual. I have given a large amount of independence compared to alot of Asians from a very early age but also a lot of responsibility. My sisters are the same and I think that is because we have demonstrated we are responsible.

Same here. From a young age I've always been raised to be responsible, so I am smart, have a lot of self-awareness, and can be responsible for my actions.

Reply 195

Supermassive_muse_fan

Have never stayed out anywhere overnight (commute from home and in my fourth year of uni). Am allowed to go to a few gigs (go with my twin brother and we have the same music taste - muse, 30stm, SOAD etc) and tbh I'd prefer going with my brother as my muslim friends aren't really into those kinda gigs but have been to a gig with my non-muslim friends but my parents know them.

Also stay out if I have meetings (used to be on the commitee for a few societies in my first two years at uni and we'd have meetings that would end late-ish but parents always knew where I was and that I was obviously working) so they would be fine with that but were worried obviously about me coming home late from a different town. But I wouldn't ever try coming home at something like 11pm, my mother wouldn't open the door (except if its like a concert but that's only like now and then and I'm with my brother anyway). But if it's like an Eid party kinda event then yes I'd be allowed to stay out a bit later.

I'm perfectly happy with the rules I've been set as parents are pretty cool with me sometimes going with gigs with my brother but I'm not the type of person who could ever go clubbing (I don't really like that atmosphere) etc. My parents are very religious I'd say but also very open minded and pretty awesome actually - my mother bought me my own electric guitar when I turned 18 but they know I'd never drink or anything. We have this nice balanced relationship.

Besides you don't need to go out and party to have fun.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 196

Mero8

Is it actually haraam to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? :s-smilie:

because I've just broken up with my girlfriend of 4 years and I'm nearly 19 and my parents were pretty cool with her...

Reply 197

pube

Original post by Chloe xxx

HAHAHAHHA I cannot wait until some of TSR muslims get hold of this fine little nugget.

lol i'll probably get stoned to death for what i said. its true though, the haram life is too good to not be a part of. white people are living the life

Original post by rolldeep786

you don't believe in demons? take a look at this:

insane. jokes that muslims actually fell for the troll, but insane nevertheless

and i was a muslim for 11 years of my ****ing life, of-course i've looked into whether allah is real or not. its too late for me to get into all the ridiculousness of the quran but most muslims don't even believe in god. they're just too afraid of what will happen if they don't because the quran is constantly banging on about hell; where you get thrown into a pit 70x hotter than volcano lava, forced to drink boiling water when your thirsty and eat a plant that corrodes all your organs and leaves you in excruciating pain.

i enjoy getting high, drunk, talking to girls, gambling, watching porn, and not starving myself for a month every year. i don't need to constantly wash my feet and get on my knees to pray 5 times a day. life's good man

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 198

Chloe xxx

Original post by pube

lol i'll probably get stoned to death for what i said. its true though, the haram life is too good to not be a part of. white people are living the life

you don't believe in demons? take a look at this:

I had to rep you. One of the funniest and most enlightening posts I've read on here, ha :biggrin:

Reply 199

username418231

Original post by pube

lol i'll probably get stoned to death for what i said. its true though, the haram life is too good to not be a part of. white people are living the life

and i was a muslim for 11 years of my ****ing life, of-course i've looked into whether allah is real or not. its too late for me to get into all the ridiculousness of the quran but most muslims don't even believe in god. they're just too afraid of what will happen if they don't because the quran is constantly banging on about hell; where you get thrown into a pit 70x hotter than volcano lava, forced to drink boiling water when your thirsty and eat a plant that corrodes all your organs and leaves you in excruciating pain.

i enjoy getting high, drunk, talking to girls, gambling, watching porn, and not starving myself for a month every year. i don't need to constantly wash my feet and get on my knees to pray 5 times a day. life's good man