Muslims that still live with parents + going out

I'm an 18 year old girl living with muslim parents (I plan to move out for uni though) and was interested to hear curfews and rules from others with muslim parents. I just want to say that I myself do not consider myself a strict muslim. I believe in God but I'm not sure I agree with a lot of muslim rules etc. My parents don't pray, my dad drinks, but they've always been kinda strict with my sister and me. I have to let them know a couple of days before I go out where I'm going, when I'll be back, and sometimes they'll say I can't go for practically no reason. When I was 16 they wouldn't let me go out for a meal with friends at 6pm on a Friday because the city centre would be full of 'drunk hooligans'. I'm allowed out occasionally until around 10pm with friends if I'm going out for a meal or something, but they seem pretty intrusive with it and I can tell they don't approve. (My dad often asks why I don't just go out earlier).

I suppose the main thing is that you are safe and recognize the fact that your family care for you and would be concerned about your safety away from home, and not do anything stupid. My sister lives all the way up in Manchester and obviously we get concerned if we dont hear from her in a day / her safety etc and its annoying sometimes when she doesn't give us that piece of mind The other thing I would say is that regardless of your family's religious status, you should look into religion more where you are unsure, and do not form judgement on islamic rulings on the basis of media influence and coverage, but actually try to arrive to your OWN judgements. Peace!

LOL its kinda funny how everyone points out the faults their parents have but yet dont look at whether they may just be asking for too much, i guess you'll all only realise when you become parents yourselves your parents do a lot for you and obviously love you a lot, love and respect them for as long as they live ..

I have tried, believe me, I have, but it's difficult when I have parents that don't pray, my dad drinks and they never go to mosque / meet with or socialise with other muslims, so whilst we fast during ramadan, the rest of the time it just feels like they're imposing these strict and somewhat unfair restrictions on when I can go out, often without reason. I can't talk to them because if I try and reason they will just shout at me to be quiet and do as I'm told. It's unfair because my dad doesn't follow Islamic rules. He drinks and says that "oh men drink anyway and that it's not haram". I couldn't care less whether he drinks or not if he's not preaching to me about not doing it. Yes I'm a girl and Islam is less lenient with this in general, but I still find it difficult to live following Islamic rules this way. As I said in my OP, I do believe in God, but all the other rules and stuff that goes with it, I'm not so sure.
Had I been brought up with more conventionally religious muslim parents, I would probably have followed it properly. I think this is especially important when being brought up in a western country anyway, because it's much easier for me to be swayed into not wanting to follow Islam. I do believe my upbringing is (I won't say to blame because I don't wish I had been brought up in a more religious family) the reason as to why I don't feel properly muslim.

I have tried, believe me, I have, but it's difficult when I have parents that don't pray, my dad drinks and they never go to mosque / meet with or socialise with other muslims, so whilst we fast during ramadan, the rest of the time it just feels like they're imposing these strict and somewhat unfair restrictions on when I can go out, often without reason. I can't talk to them because if I try and reason they will just shout at me to be quiet and do as I'm told. It's unfair because my dad doesn't follow Islamic rules. He drinks and says that "oh men drink anyway and that it's not haram". I couldn't care less whether he drinks or not if he's not preaching to me about not doing it. Yes I'm a girl and Islam is less lenient with this in general, but I still find it difficult to live following Islamic rules this way. As I said in my OP, I do believe in God, but all the other rules and stuff that goes with it, I'm not so sure.
Had I been brought up with more conventionally religious muslim parents, I would probably have followed it properly. I think this is especially important when being brought up in a western country anyway, because it's much easier for me to be swayed into not wanting to follow Islam. I do believe my upbringing is (I won't say to blame because I don't wish I had been brought up in a more religious family) the reason as to why I don't feel properly muslim.

LOL its kinda funny how everyone points out the faults their parents have but yet dont look at whether they may just be asking for too much, i guess you'll all only realise when you become parents yourselves your parents do a lot for you and obviously love you a lot, love and respect them for as long as they live ..

Fair enough, incase you thought otherwise though, your father's logic about drinking not being harram because men drink is completely ridiculous, it is both so obviouslly harmful to your health and harmful to society. I understand, parents should actually set that example before teaching you, but dont forget that just because you are flawed it doesn't mean you cannot teach your children the right way for their sake. You have to be strong not to be swayed by common culture without your own consideration, it would be sheepish.

I do pray you find the right path for yourself

I agree with you on this My parents have been quite strict on me, in terms of going out etc, but I'm glad that they were like that. If I had been left to my own devices, I'd probably be a druggie or a teenage mum (with the environment in school and with my friends), but they've always been against letting me go out extremely late, or letting me hang around with guys (I only speak to them in class, I don't have any of the guys from school on facebook or anything). Before you guys ask, my parents aren't overly religious in the sense that the women are forced to take hijab and aren't allowed to step foot outside the house. My parents have given my sisters and I the freedom to be as religious as we want in terms of prayer and clothing, however, they have always been against the traditionally forbidden stuff like alcohol, pre marital sex, and so we too are against that kind of thing. I'm happy that my parents took that decision to be strict on us girls, or god knows what could have happened under peer pressure and what not.

I'm an 18 year old girl living with muslim parents (I plan to move out for uni though) and was interested to hear curfews and rules from others with muslim parents. I just want to say that I myself do not consider myself a strict muslim. I believe in God but I'm not sure I agree with a lot of muslim rules etc. My parents don't pray, my dad drinks, but they've always been kinda strict with my sister and me. I have to let them know a couple of days before I go out where I'm going, when I'll be back, and sometimes they'll say I can't go for practically no reason. When I was 16 they wouldn't let me go out for a meal with friends at 6pm on a Friday because the city centre would be full of 'drunk hooligans'. I'm allowed out occasionally until around 10pm with friends if I'm going out for a meal or something, but they seem pretty intrusive with it and I can tell they don't approve. (My dad often asks why I don't just go out earlier).

is the library seriously open during the early hours of the morning? My uncle always used to come home at 4 am and claim he was in the library and my grandma always believed him (no one else did though).

As a Muslim male, my parents aren't so strict about where I go, on condition i come back home at a reasonable time. I have a smaller sister, and I'm sure they'll be a LOT more strict on her, and I admit, even I'll be strict on where she goes when she's older. Not for the sake of it, but because she's a female, and females are a lot more vulnerable outside on their own. I'll be keeping a close eye on her, and if she were to go out with friends, I would come and chapperone her, and keep a close eye on any boys who talk to her.

You can't hate on me for being a protective loving brother can you? I've seen what some teenagers (especially the male ones) in South London are like first hand, and I wouldn't want them to come anywhere near my sister with the intention of getting her into bed. I wouldn't even want them to date her at all. Neg me all you like guys, but at the end of the day I want my sister to be safe.

LOL its kinda funny how everyone points out the faults their parents have but yet dont look at whether they may just be asking for too much, i guess you'll all only realise when you become parents yourselves your parents do a lot for you and obviously love you a lot, love and respect them for as long as they live ..

I agree with you on this My parents have been quite strict on me, in terms of going out etc, but I'm glad that they were like that. If I had been left to my own devices, I'd probably be a druggie or a teenage mum (with the environment in school and with my friends), but they've always been against letting me go out extremely late, or letting me hang around with guys (I only speak to them in class, I don't have any of the guys from school on facebook or anything). Before you guys ask, my parents aren't overly religious in the sense that the women are forced to take hijab and aren't allowed to step foot outside the house. My parents have given my sisters and I the freedom to be as religious as we want in terms of prayer and clothing, however, they have always been against the traditionally forbidden stuff like alcohol, pre marital sex, and so we too are against that kind of thing. I'm happy that my parents took that decision to be strict on us girls, or god knows what could have happened under peer pressure and what not.

I don't get why you have to go out at night?

You've got your own mind your own mind to make your own decisions, whether good or bad that's how you learn.

Your parents sound like they did a good job

Well the fact that they've steered me away from all of the crappy stuff early on helps me in that process of determining what is right for me, and what is wrong



Indeed

But that's exactly it, what they interpret as right and wrong may not be in line with what you think what is.