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Muslims that still live with parents + going out

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    (Original post by merryhappy)
    But that's exactly it, what they interpret as right and wrong may not be in line with what you think what is.
    But it is The fact that they've left me to my own devices when it comes to religion, and I won't really steer away from how they have bought me up kinda proves that I concur with their opinions on most things.
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    What's wrong with telling your parents when you're going out or what time you're coming home? it's common courtesy and respect for the people that gave you a roof over your head....
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    asian curfew is 4 bro.


    :lol:
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    No I don't have a curfew. I tell my mother if I'm going out and where I'm going and when I might come back. If I arrive home late, I simply tell my mum why I was late.

    I don't really go out much, more of a stay at home kind of guy.
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    (Original post by Ayah)
    My parents are cool with me going out with friends and stuff, not clubbin obviously, and they want me home before 8-9pm, because im a girl. yupp i hate that fact, but there's nothin i can do. My big brother goes out late, **** knows what he's upto and comes home 12-2am. My parents let him cos he the oldest and he's a guy. it ****iinn pisses me off! Cant wait till i start uni nxt year inshallah, cannot wait....

    Well you should consider yourself happy to have parent who cares for you! I don't see what you are complaining about? I don't think parents are the only hyprocrites here. Most of their children do things on their back. They use university as an excuse to move out and mess around and do "everything they want". Those people are just a shame to Islam.
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    (Original post by Dee Leigh)
    Protecting or controlling?
    controlling with the intention of protecting. I don't want my sister coming home pregnant with some ghetto badboy wannabe from Brixton or Peckham.
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    (Original post by Abir Ishtiaq)
    controlling with the intention of protecting. I don't want my sister coming home pregnant with some ghetto badboy wannabe from Brixton or Peckham.
    Depends on what kind of person your sister is. If she's an idiot, then she'll come home pregnant.

    There are plenty of girls who are smart, mature and understand where the line is and don't need or have an over controlling brother. On top of that, such actions can easily suffocate some people and push them away. As a brother you can only do so much, but if you do too much then you might cause more harm than good.

    I've got a younger sister and I don't think I've done anything to protect her, because I've not had to. My mother is extremely strict with her and she has a curfew of 7pm if she plan to go out with her friends and it has to be planned.
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    salam guys,
    if you get kıds, would you REALLY be ok with them goint out at night and clubbing? Wouldn't you be protective and want to preserve them from bad influences? We all know what stuff people do in clubs etc.... Stop kidding yourselves. Not half of you will let your sons and daughters do the stuff you've written down.

    I might get lots of negs, but be thankful for having protective parents.
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    My parents have never had a problem with me going out and stuff... My sisters on the other hand... Well, that's a different story entirely...
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    In your case, I don't think being Muslim has any relevance. It's probably just culture (are you South Asian?) Nonetheless, it varies a lot.

    Anyway, I am Muslim and have a lot of Muslim friends. None of us really have curfews, but don't get home at crazy times (probably like 10ish). Don't go clubbing or anything, so no need really.
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    (Original post by tidbury1415)
    so did you read the title of the thread... or is this forum a lucky dip for you?

    wow.
    Chill out.
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    (Original post by bananacake14)
    Chill out.
    ok.
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    (Original post by 2ndClass)
    What's wrong with telling your parents when you're going out or what time you're coming home? it's common courtesy and respect for the people that gave you a roof over your head....
    I've never been out without my parents knowing, but I do feel they are controlling. When I was 14 my dad wouldn't let me go to the theatre with my friend, her parents and her brother for her birthday. (We were close friends but as we knew each-other from trampolining I didn't know her other friends, hence why she didn't invite me to a get-together she had with them). He wouldn't give a reason why, and I hated him for it.
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    One of my old schoolmates has to commute from Manchester to Liverpool Uni every day and be back to cook meals for her older brothers. It's ridiculous. I feel so sorry for her.
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    (Original post by Annora)
    One of my old schoolmates has to commute from Manchester to Liverpool Uni every day and be back to cook meals for her older brothers. It's ridiculous. I feel so sorry for her.
    I feel sorry for her too.
    Are her family muslim? Why isn't her mum / dad cooking for them? Or more to the point, why don't they cook for themselves?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I feel sorry for her too.
    Are her family muslim? Why isn't her mum / dad cooking for them? Or more to the point, why don't they cook for themselves?
    Yes, they're muslim. They believe in strict gender roles, so the women cook for the men - anything her brothers want she has to make. :rolleyes: She can't leave until she married a muslim, I suppose, but will anything even change then?
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    (Original post by Annora)
    Yes, they're muslim. They believe in strict gender roles, so the women cook for the men - anything her brothers want she has to make. :rolleyes: She can't leave until she married a muslim, I suppose, but will anything even change then?
    don't base your judgement on this single issue ! My father cooks breakfast for us EVERY MORNING because he wants us to eat something in the morning and since we are too lazy, he prepares something hot to eat (especially as it is nearly winter).
    He also does the shopping! My mum NEVER does the shopping on her own. He either goes by himself or she goes with him to show him the brands she likes.
    I never had to cook for my brothers: my mum told us to be self-sufficient so when she can'T cook, we live on tuna!
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    (Original post by itzme)
    don't base your judgement on this single issue ! My father cooks breakfast for us EVERY MORNING because he wants us to eat something in the morning and since we are too lazy, he prepares something hot to eat (especially as it is nearly winter).
    He also does the shopping! My mum NEVER does the shopping on her own. He either goes by himself or she goes with him to show him the brands she likes.
    I never had to cook for my brothers: my mum told us to be self-sufficient so when she can'T cook, we live on tuna!
    I said the family is strict muslim and believes in strict gender roles, not that all muslims believe in strict gender roles. Look at the questions I was replying to.
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    Im from a muslim family. Older brother goes wherever he wants and whenever he wants and parents dont say anything but thats because they've given up a few years ago, hes 24 now.

    Older sister is not allowed to just say "yeah mum im going out ill be back later". She has to plan and let know in advance to parents and they are normally cool with it most of the times as she tells them who she is going with and where she is going. Shes 22 and shes actually perfectly fine with it, she even tells my mum to drop her where she wants to go with her mate and also gets picked up. She has never ever questioned as to why she isnt allowed out at night to parties or go here n there with mates.

    Me, im 19 and can go wherever i want n whenever i want with no curfew. I dont have to make a plan and let know in advance. With me its just pick up my car keys and out i go while saying "mum im going out", when im halfway through the door. My parents probably only ever hear "mum im *door shuts*" lol. But they are quite lenient to be honest, i dont really go out on weekdays but on fridays i jus say im out for abit tonite mum, turn up at home around 5 in the morning n still sneek in even though she knows im out coz i dont want her to think wtf.

    Younger brother who is 17 can pretty much go wherever he wants but he is really close with my mum and has a different aspect. He makes plans for a friday after college with mates and comes home around 12-1 am most times.

    But all in all, its all good lol
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    (Original post by Cesar Lecat)
    Depends on what kind of person your sister is. If she's an idiot, then she'll come home pregnant.

    There are plenty of girls who are smart, mature and understand where the line is and don't need or have an over controlling brother. On top of that, such actions can easily suffocate some people and push them away. As a brother you can only do so much, but if you do too much then you might cause more harm than good.
    I don't usually like the stuff you say, but this time I actually agree with you. If you are overbearing and controlling then you will push them away into the wrong direction. I've seen it happen a number of times. That's why (from what I see) some Asian girls rebel, because they don't want to be controlled, they want a life and being overly controlled drives them more to the 'negative' aspects of Western culture and away from Islamic principles - e.g. sex before marriage, binge drinking, etc.
Updated: April 21, 2012
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