transfering

Ok so I'm a bit upset and don't really know what to do. Basically I dont really have any proper friends, I know a lot of people, lot of people who are friends and I say hi to but nothing more. They always leave me out and never bother asking me to go out with them, always me asking them. I am fed up of feeling left out and I have left it a term see how it goes and it has only gotten worse. I have no1 to live with next yr, so am gona get a random flat with random new ppl, which will probebly help. However, Bristol is a very expensive city and flat prices dont come much cheaper than 70 a week excluding bills...plus you have to pay for a yr contract....im not sure how i will afford this. I like Bristol, its good for going out if only i had people to go out with! However the course is extremly intense, scarily so and I had the impression maybe some other medical schools are slightly less intense (just slightly may i add). I can't see myself passing there is just physically too much for my poor memory to learn. Anyways how would I go about transfering if i did want to try and get into another uni, and how likely is it? I don't think I do, but if i did how?

I wish i could make this better, in the mean time any suggestions? i know it will hopefully improve next yr, but I cant wait that long, ill end up quitting or something I regret. I am with societys, again have friends but they dont involve me, we just speak. I am used to having close friends, but right now i feel my only close friends are male, and I love female company....that is what I want a good girlie night. I thought about transfering halls altho im not sure how possible this is, and I love my room its perfect. The only other option I could consider really is another hall which isnt as nice (dont bother me much) but the problem is it is catered, and i am self catered, not sure how it would work. arghh please help me, I only wana go out and have a good time with people :frown:

Reply 1

dr2be

Just remember, that for everyone university is a new experience, and you're not the only one who's feeling this way! Have you tried joining some societies to make friends? There's SOOO much out there, and people really need to themselves into the deep end at first to make it work out. Try talking with your tutor, as they might be able to help you. Good luck!!

Reply 2

Fluffy

wednesburywench - give it a little longer. A lot of the cliques of the first term don't last too long.

Also, (and I know it seems an age off), the dynamics of your year will completely change come clinicals...

If it's getting to you that much, then talk it over with someone. This is probably the hardest time of the year - half way through. You start to feel tired, yet summer seems like an age away. It's not.

How are your halls aranged? In flats or corridors? Single sex or mixed? Why not put yourself out there and organise a corridor/flat event? Could be as simple as going for a pizza and then cinema, or as hard core as paintballing and shooting hte hell out of the freaks you hate :wink:

Reply 3

wednesburywench

hehe thanks, yea i do netball, but like everyone already has their groups again. I know so many people but cudnt really call them friends. I tried to organise a little party in our flat last term, but the tutors dont let us, its not fair. And the other one no1 even turned up. My halls r in flats of 6 ppl 3 boys 3 girls, the 3 boys r great but all have other mates, i do go out with them but cus their mates r all males i feel very well not like i shud be there, and the one girl dont ever come out and the other....well thats another story. We are in blocks with 9 flats in each block, and i know everyone in the block, but they seem to stick together in flats more so this term than last term, last term wasnt a problem that much, i would go up etc but this term im fed up cus they just look at me funny and make me feel unwelcome lol. I feel better now iv ahd some sleep, had had some alcohol last night lol. I don't wana change halls cus iv just looked and the one I would go to is 600 quid more a yr than this one and catered, and catered sucks lol. I spose I will have to wait till next year to have my fun eh! Goin to see a flat tonight where 5 soon to be 3rd years are living, its right by the uni theres 3 guys n 1 girl, but do you think living with 3rd yrs will be ok? they r doin economics, engineering, psychology and english and i duno the other one. I could stay in hall next yr which wud be a gud cheaper option, but they are so bloody far away i cant be doing with this 2 n half mile walk every morning at 8am! lol.

Reply 4

helenlicious

Ooh, ring Manor Hall in Clifton quick - I know someone who is apparently dropping out of first year this week meaning his room is free, so you might be able to nick it! No walk down from Stokey B :biggrin:

Reply 5

randdom

I know it isn't easy but things will change. Initially people grasp on to the first friends that they meet at uni, however this will only last a term at most, I assume you have seminar groups if this is the case then sit down next to someone you vaguly know are start talking. If you can manage it then stick with them and try and get invited out with there friends. It will take some time but things should get better as the year goes on.

Reply 6

Fluffy

^^^ Agreed. It's 'painful' at first, but don't be afraid to say to someone in one of your tutor groups 'So, do you fancy going for a quick coffee'...

Reply 7

Joey12

Hey, i completely sympathise with your situation. I had the most rubbish first time, barely had anyone to talk to and everyone in my block left me out of things. I was really considering leaving and the fact that i had so many choices to make i.e. reaplpying thru ucas, moving halls etc made it even more terrible. I was really depressed and it showed im sure, i just found social situations so difficult. Im used to having such good close friends at home, so it really upset me becoz i wanted so much from uni.
However i decided to come back this term and have thrown myself into revision wich has really given me sumthin to do and people this term seem more open to everyone in general. Im a lot more positive in my character, which means people have started approaching me to chat rather than other way round. Im also going to make myself go to new clubs, so hopefully this term will be a lot better.
Im still upset about the way the first term turned out, especially since my old friends from home have had such fantastic experiences, but everyones uni experience is different and im sure everything will turn out fine in the end so i cant keep dwelling on it.
At the end of the day, nothing is set in stone, so if it all goes bad again, i will leave and try again...wots the worse that can happen.

Reply 8

wednesburywench

that sounds exactly like my situation! I will stick it out, I just wanted better.

Reply 9

Blates as

wednesburywench

that sounds exactly like my situation! I will stick it out, I just wanted better.

Hey, I had a similar situation in my first semester. Mine was accommodation and work based - I was living in this little house with all mature students away from the main hall (but within its grounds). I had a group of friends in the main building but because it was an effort for them to come and see me etc I got left out of a lot of stuff and it really got me down. It all changed in the second semester though, I made much more of an effort with them and I started putting my social life on a level of equal importance to my work - it made a huge difference. You need to get a balance between work and play and not let the intensity of medicine worry you or dictate all of your time. If you always put your work first people will have a negative impression of you.

That was just my experience anyway... hope I was of a little bit of help!!

Reply 10

Sarky

I find people in my year very cliquey. I'm a hypocrite i guess because all the people who did the foundation year have stuck together so we've created a clique of our own. The difference for me is the fact that i'm willing to talk to people outside my clique. I'd actually like to make more friends and have a better social life but most of them aren't willing. I was in a biochemistry practical on monday and we had to get into groups and no-one wanted to work with me and i didn't know anyone there. I ended up asking if i could join a group but i could tell they only said yes because they had to and i felt like a leper. My flatmates don't want me to live with them either. I wasn't very sociable last term (had a lot of health problems and was in hospital) which is fine because i have other friends but it would have been nice to be asked. I understand how you feel. Feeling lonely is horrible even if you are surrounded by people. Hang in there and keep doing what you're doing.

Reply 11

wednesburywench

yea dont get me wrong it isnt because i work all the time cus i dont lol, only when i have to really :/ altho i do quite enjoy doing the work, does that make me sad lol, spose its good, atleast i enjoy the course! cud be worse. lol

--------------

anyways as for the original question, just wondering if i did wana transfer which i dont, but say if i did, can you do that? and how would you go about it?