Your "Oh ****!" stories/moment at University

My biggest "Oh ****!" moment was a 24 hour time period celebrating my 19th Birthday. We'd started the night by pre-drinking in my flat where I had drank about 2 Litres of cider and changed into an 80's Hawaiian shirt. Jump to the clubs and bars where I was force fed a cocktail of stella, birthday cake shots and absinth. Soon after we headed home and called a taxi, after my friends decided I had partied enough after trying to kick the bouncer out of the club and I finished doing a solo act to 'my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard' in the middle of Revolution.

In the taxi, I put the window down in case I chundered everywhere. We drove past a police car and I shouted at the top of my voice "HELP!! I'm being kidnapped!!". The taxi driver was not impressed. I was left in the safety of my bed by my friends.

The next morning, my friend came to my halls to make me a birthday meal I had been promised and got me out of bed... and my mouth tasted like Satan's dick. I managed down some bacon and a bit of pasta. 20 minutes later I threw up the pasta..... through my nose. I'd forgotten to move my hand from my mouth.

Truly an "Oh ****!" 24 hours.

My worst incident was when I was living back in student halls (the horror!) and I'd just come back from work. Baring in mind that a year before I went to uni I had an experience where I was in a lift that dropped 5 stories because of the weight limit being exceeded. So I get in the lift (still a bit hesitant about them at this point) and there's 4 other people already in there. The lift stops at floor 1 and 2 guys want to get in so they can go up to floor 2. Someone inside the lift decides that this'll be a good idea so they get in and the doors close. About 5 seconds later the lift stops in between floors and won't move. We were stuck in there for an hour with 2 guys who had bought hot takeaway with mayonnaise and chilli sauce without any air conditioning and stuck in a confined metal space. It quickly became unbearably hot in there. When we eventually did get out there was condensation all over the inside of the lift. Awful hour.

You get super excited when your mum brings you home a gadget that helps you make poached eggs properly...

lol they're not that hard to make .. are they?

So I'd just split up with my then girlfriend, and York being the tiny place that it is, we were out for a friends birthday, and 3 of my friends ran at me in the club to tell me that she was looking for me. Being the courageous sort of chap that I am, I decided the best course of action was retreat and managed to sneak into an International Students Association party, where they'd roped off the bar, intending to have a quiet drink under the air con unit and reflect on the best way to remove myself from the current predicament.

So, whilst mulling this over at the bar, a Chinese gentleman turned to me, tapped me on the shoulder and proclaimed loudly "You like Asian girl?"

Now, Im not usually flustered that easily, but I managed to stumble through with "Well, no, I mean, yes, I mean I dont dislike them"

He replied with "You like asian girl! Look around, pick one, I get you any girl here" - to this day, one of the most surreal experiences of my life.

If only the story ended there, we went on to another club that opens later than the rest, and a friend of a friend who was extremely good looking was with us, we hit it off, spent some of the evening together - I was just turning around with two drinks for us and turned straight into my ex, face of thunder. Ended up being yelled at, and then the girl I was buying the drinks for, came over, ran her hands through my hair and and kissed me on the cheek, in front of my already apoplectic ex. Cue head in hands, asking myself how on earth this was all happening to me.

This was nigh on 6 months ago, and my friends still get excellent replay value out of it.

This happened in Willow didn't it? It always happens in Willow.

This happened in Willow didn't it? It always happens in Willow.

Willow is my favourite place.
Been kicked out too many times. God damn cheap shots and free prawn crackers.

Mine NEVER go right, the white ends up going everywhere. So I've now got these things called 'poachpods' they're super awesome.
/I need a life.

Im glad it was you that said it and not me

Coming from the user with the name 'DontBeJelBeReem'

Two ID's please - Oh Conrad, you crazy crazy over-tanned man.

And no, alas, it was Tokyo then Vudu. Crazy mare hunted me down to the other side of town...

I have waaaay too many!!

In first week of uni I went to sit down on a high stall, thought it was right behind me, it wasn't. I ended up rolling around on my bum. I think that was when my flatmates realised I'm very clumsy.

On halloween I was dressed as a nun, got a bit toooooo drunk. I think I drunk almost a whole bottle of Sambuca. Didn't get let in to the club. The pubs wouldn't even let me in to pee. Ended up in a forest with a mate who helped me pee (I think he saw a bit too much of me that night). My mates somehow got me home. Then I wouldn't stop throwing up. Woke up with bruises EVERYWHERE and sumbuca flavoured sick covering my hair.. still dressed as a nun. (I don't actually remember any of this, just odd flashbacks, and my friends filled in the rest of the story).

One night I was quite drunk, dressed as a school girl (fancy dress). Jumped on someone's back.. Fell off. My face collided with the pavement. It was not a nice sight but let's just say, my face was pretty messed up. The paramedics arrived as I was rocking back and forth on the kitchen floor, crying and covered in blood saying "I want to die, I would rather die, please just let me die." All my other stupid accidents I can laugh about - not this one.

One night my housemate saw me naked. I was in my room with my boyfriend at the time, didn't think anyone was out there, the bathroom was right next to my room anyway so thought I would go for it. My housemate's room was opposite mine and as I opened the door wide, she was standing right there. She saw everything!

One night me and a housemate went on a night out. We obviously drunk way too much because we don't remember anything. I don't even think we got into the uni bar. But I woke up in the middle of the night in his bed, with him sleeping on the floor. I was a bit like huh? So I went back into my own room. In the morning there was a knock at the door with him saying, "what happened?" His clothes were all over the house. He had some of my clothes in his room as well as random items from my bag on his floor. To this day we still don't know what happened or why he was apparently walking around the house naked.

Went on a night out with a friend from home who was staying over at mine for the night. While we were there my mate disappeared off as usual and the guy I was seeing at the time was in the same club so we met up. At the end of the night I couldn't find my mate anywhere, it turns out she had been having sex with some random guy in the guys toilets. (Ew!) Anyway me, my mate and the guy I was seeing all headed back for my uni room. No idea why the guy was coming with us! So we get off the bus, only a short walk away from my room, and I realise a random guy from the bus is following us. My mate was holding his hand and I was like "why's he coming?" But I didn't really care cos I was drunk. So we get back to my room and we all go to sleep, me in my bed with the guy I was seeing, and my mate and random bus boy on the floor. All is fine. Me and the guy I was seeing wake up early in the morning, to realise my mate and random bus boy are having sex on the floor! It was quite traumatic! When we all properly woke up my mate went in the shower and bus boy ran off and told me to say bye to her.

I realise most of my stories involve alcohol!!

My biggest "Oh ****!" moment was a 24 hour time period celebrating my 19th Birthday. We'd started the night by pre-drinking in my flat where I had drank about 2 Litres of cider and changed into an 80's Hawaiian shirt. Jump to the clubs and bars where I was force fed a cocktail of stella, birthday cake shots and absinth. Soon after we headed home and called a taxi, after my friends decided I had partied enough after trying to kick the bouncer out of the club and I finished doing a solo act to 'my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard' in the middle of Revolution.

In the taxi, I put the window down in case I chundered everywhere. We drove past a police car and I shouted at the top of my voice "HELP!! I'm being kidnapped!!". The taxi driver was not impressed. I was left in the safety of my bed by my friends.

The next morning, my friend came to my halls to make me a birthday meal I had been promised and got me out of bed... and my mouth tasted like Satan's dick. I managed down some bacon and a bit of pasta. 20 minutes later I threw up the pasta..... through my nose. I'd forgotten to move my hand from my mouth.

Truly an "Oh ****!" 24 hours.

These stories are epic, well most of them. Since it's been a while since I've posted I thought I'd add a few more stories.

- A couple of months back, I decided to try and stop smoking, so I took the anti-smoking pills... then went on a night out. Didn't know that it's not the best idea to drink whilst on them as they cause a bit of an upset stomach. Anyway, a few hours and drinks later I suddenly feel rather ill, stumble to the bathroom and pass out. My friend finds me, takes me back to our booth and I pass out again. One of my friend's boyfriends was there at the time and had never met me before. Our introduction was short as I woke up for a split second to chunder on him then pass out again. He was a nob anyway so all was well in our group.

- Went to Liverpool for a night out and ended up on Karaoke. Mate filmed it and put it on facebook. Point is that after I sang 'We are the Champions' I yelled 'If liking Queen make me gay, then I guess I'm a big homo.' Then sang Bohemian Rhapsody.

- Went to my mates 21st and got so wasted I decided to play bodyguard for someone's teddy bear.

- Got stoned and thought it would be a great idea to put on 'Day of the Triffids' for everyone. Paranoid City for everyone that night!

Those are just a few, but the bad thing is that I actually remember them quite clearly. *sigh*