my friend won't help herself

So, here is the situation- my dear friend didn't do too well in her AS levels and came out with EEUU, the Us are in Maths and Psychology and the Es in English Lit and Communication Studies. This year she is taking the 2 subjects she passed plus General Studies. She thinks she can get her grades up to CC, and then a B in GS, giving her B/CC overall at A2, so applied to university to do primary teaching.

College said she should have restarted her AS levels this year and taken different subjects then applied to university next time. She said no, so the teachers were like 'ok, have it your way' as she had ignored any advice or help offered. They predicted her CC as otherwise her application would have been completely overlooked, but we've just had subject reviews and they've said she’s currently at an E grade standard. Which she had put down to the fact that 'we've only just started A2 and its early days yet'.

However, I don't think she will improve her grades as:
a) she literally only just scrapped passes at AS- they were both very low Es- so how is she going to cope with A2?
b) she is only taking one re sit per subject and did hardly any revision as apparently she doesn't need to...
c) she seems to have no idea of the challenge she has set herself and doesn't go to any subject support sessions or even ask for help in lessons. She isn't going on any of the extra trips for Lit either- we're going to the theatre to see WW1 plays.
d) she doesn't have a grade C or above in GCSE Science as she failed it at school, meaning she has to retake that this year too.

Anyway, she was adamant she was going to uni and applied, picking basically the same ones as another friend who has applied for teaching and was convinced she would get in. Her highest university, and her first choice, advertised BCC... which, to put it nicely, there is no way she is going to get. It turns out most of the places she has applied to don't accept general studies but accept key skills, which would give her an extra 20 UCAS points. But she wont go to key skills lessons as they're 'pointless'.

Last week she got rejected from the university with the lowest tariff points as they said she didn't meet their requirements. Today, she got rejected from another one as she failed to read the aspect saying she needed 2 curriculum subjects at A level. Her UCAS track isn't looking pretty to say the least. Theoretically, I know she still has 4 other options left for uni, but shes decided she doesn't like 2 of them and isn't going there even if they give her an offer. I don't think she quite understands that she hasn't exactly got the flexibility to be choosy about this. I've started looking up things to do with UCAS Extra for her but she keeps saying she doesn't need it, although realistically extra is looking like a good option.

Now we're all loosing patience with her as she will not help herself to improve her grades. We recently got our lit coursework grades back and she got an E, and she keeps saying she deserved better yet she didn't seek any support from the teachers, or us! Mostly I just wanted to rant as she is annoying me so much. She is the least academic out of our friendship group and I do feel sorry for her but if she won't listen to our advice then thats not our fault. Another of our group was accepted at Cambridge, to which her reply was 'oh what a surprise, isn't that nice for J' in a very sarcastic manner. This has really got to us all as the friend in question doesn't have the typical Oxbridge candidate background, but works so damn hard to achieve what she does and deserves it so much.

The point of this post is: will she be accepted anywhere with only 120 UCAS points, providing she manages to get DD? plus a pass in general studies. What can I do to make her realise she needs to sort her attitude out otherwise she is staying here? if she gets offers but then misses her grades in August, how many universities are going to want her? if she applies next year would her application this year cause her problems? anyone else have friends who are in a similar position? I've just spent the last hour on MSN with her giving me advice- which is fair enough- but the advice was about how I should push myself really hard to achieve AAAA and she was coming up with all these ideas about subject support, which seemed ironic coming from her.

Just anyone please, advice, ideas, suggestions- anything, as the way we are going shes going to be university-less, and we're going to just flip at her for being so unhelpful to herself. I really have no idea what to do, she is her own worst enemy. Sorry it was so long xxx

Reply 1

Toy Soldier

Is she thick, or just lazy?

Reply 2

Misogynist

I doubt she'll be accepted. She obviously needs more help than you are supplying, It's good luck she has a friend like you..

Reply 3

lil_sweetie

Make her see that she's not going to get anywhere in life if she doesn't work hard at this crucial time in her education. I doubt many universities will accept her unless she boosts her grades a bit. Does she do much extracurricular stuff?

Unless of course she wants to be a checkout girl at Sainsbury's her whole life....

Reply 4

beanie

Toy Soldier

Is she thick, or just lazy?

shes not thick... she just thinks she can achieve alot more than she actually can. Shes putting all her problems down to breaking up with her boyfriend at the Christmas of year 12 (which may I point out is over a year ago now and shes STILL going on about him) but we've all had relationship problems, its part of being 17, and we've all managed to get a decent set of results. I wouldn't call her lazy either as she does work, she just doesn't exert herself to do more than the minimum required.

Reply 5

Misogynist

Are you her best friend? If so, make her study.. Give her some motives..

Reply 6

CrispyDuck

It's so amazingly great that you care this much about her :smile:

xxx

Reply 7

Little Girl Red

I think you need to tell her! It will sound harsh, and she will be upset, but point it out to her. That should (Lol!) give her some motivation of some sorts, as long as you make it obvious that you're not trying to be nasty, just to help, and you will do anything you can to help her (go to the theatre with her, help her revise and make study notes, help her apply to Ucas Extra). She needs to do more resits in June, and she can still enter to do them.
She will not get into Uni with only 120 points (thats equivalent to only ONE A) and she needs to seriously get motivated.

Reply 8

beanie

Hi... I've left this for a few days as the aforementioned friend has been incredibly moany and annoying, so I'd just end up being nasty about her.

I'm not her best friend, in fact she doesn't particulary like me! Shes a close friend of one of my best friends, so we hang around together a lot as a group but she only ever talks to me alone if she wants help with English, or is on her own. She is like that with most people though, she only has 1 proper friend. But even so, I'm really concerned about her as I don't want her to muck this up, nobody deserves for that to happen.

Does she do much extracurricular stuff?

we're working on that! The majority of our group go to a primary school in our lunch hour and run a play scheme with the kids. Its in a rough area and the kids love trying to kill each other, so we go and teach them how to play nicely... and get paid by the council for it :biggrin:

So we're trying to get her to come, esspecially as she's applied for primary teaching.

Thanks so much guys, I think we're going to have a little motivation session. I know this isn't the biggest problem or issue on here by any stretch of the imagination, but its a problem. Thanks for the responses.

She will not get into Uni with only 120 points (thats equivalent to only ONE A) and she needs to seriously get motivated.