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Original post by adamrules247
:hi: Thanks for the input, it really is interesting hearing the wide variety of opinions :smile:

Also, welcome to the society :smile: I saw from your post you have some doubts. If it's just general doubts then I think (as a mathematician) you may enjoy Oxford's Professor of Mathematics and Christian apologist Professor John Lennox (look him up on YouTube), if it's doubts about Catholicism we can usually cobble something together between us, and if we can't then Yawn, one of our members (away for a couple of weeks ATM though) can usually answer them (she's a genius, seriously) :colonhash:

But I need some sleep now so don't expect a reply till tomorrow :tongue:


Hey Adam.

After I spoke quite favourably of the CU at my uni, and I told you I was leading a Bible study group.

I think you may be interested in what's happened since. I let slip (for some reason) to the person in charge of all the Bible study groups that I was a Catholic, and in particular that I didn't accept 'salvation through faith alone'. That didn't go down very well, and she sent someone to try and convince me otherwise, who, after we had a very civil, polite discussion, made it clear that it was his opinion that I believed a heresy, and that this belief if I couldn't change my mind would make me unsuitable to be a leader.

So I've ended up resigning as a Bible study leader, particularly because of all this and also because the girl who I was leading a group with was also in trouble for having a non-Christian boyfriend (but that's a separate issue!)

It feels a bit like I'm just slagging them off, but that's not the case. I really disagree with their views on this, but they honestly believe what they are doing is right and have been ever so nice about it all. But I guess my point is, if you do want to get involved in the CU at your uni, then good for you. But be wary of taking leadership positions, as they're not quite as 'non-denominational' as they would like to make out!
Reply 2321
Original post by medbh4805
I suppose I'm trying to come to terms with my sinful nature, sometimes I feel so down, like I can't live with myself at all.


Bless you, medbh. It is sometimes awfully hard to love ourselves, but if we can constantly remind ourselves how much God loves us it becomes easier.

Remember the Psalm that goes [I paraphrase here as I don't have any resources to quote verbatim] "I've known and loved you since you were forming in the womb...I hold you in the palm of my hand..." For me, that speaks depths of the love God has for me, and helps me during those times when I feel unworthy of Him because of the sinful nature we all share...our human frailty.

During those down times, doing something positive can help. Write down all the things that make you loveable, things that yourfamily and friends love about you. Once you see your attributes in written form, it may help you realise how good you are. From a personal point of view, I have always enjoyed exchanges with you on TSR and reading your posts to others. They are full of wisdom.

Another point; having lots of experience of the trials of growing to adulthood from my work in secondary schools, I have found that particular age groups share similar problems. The time between pubescence and - to pull an age out of an invisible hat because of its significance - say, finishing higher education can be the worse from the perspective on personal introspection. We dig and delve into the deeper parts of our being and do tend to concentrate on the pessimistic sides. This is totally normal, it's part of human development. It is only by learning about ourselves and our place in society that we mature and as we age, we get happier and more comfortable with ourselves.

My views seem to indicate that we are all the same, but nothing can be further from the truth., Each and every one of us is unique...and that uniqueness is why God loves us as individuals so much.

Some of the most saintly people had moments of deep doubt and feelings of worthlessness. Mother Theresa is one of the more recent examples. You are in good company if that's any consolation. Remember the mantra - "Jesus, I place my trust in You."
Reply 2322
Original post by jammiebreadman
Hey Adam.

After I spoke quite favourably of the CU at my uni, and I told you I was leading a Bible study group.

I think you may be interested in what's happened since. I let slip (for some reason) to the person in charge of all the Bible study groups that I was a Catholic, and in particular that I didn't accept 'salvation through faith alone'. That didn't go down very well, and she sent someone to try and convince me otherwise, who, after we had a very civil, polite discussion, made it clear that it was his opinion that I believed a heresy, and that this belief if I couldn't change my mind would make me unsuitable to be a leader.

So I've ended up resigning as a Bible study leader, particularly because of all this and also because the girl who I was leading a group with was also in trouble for having a non-Christian boyfriend (but that's a separate issue!)

It feels a bit like I'm just slagging them off, but that's not the case. I really disagree with their views on this, but they honestly believe what they are doing is right and have been ever so nice about it all. But I guess my point is, if you do want to get involved in the CU at your uni, then good for you. But be wary of taking leadership positions, as they're not quite as 'non-denominational' as they would like to make out!


That really stinks, my friend! How dare someone telll you that not adhering to "sola fide" is a heresy. Grrrr...I'm absolutely incandescent with rage. The problem with much of the 'solas' is that texts are wrenched out of context and looked at as stand alone statements. Scripture is composed of both the Old and New Testaments and understanding in coming to the truth involves referring to the two.

Of course there is another very important matter that is involved here. You are being excluded from being a youth leader because Catholic doctrine conflicts with Protestant doctrine. Christianity is not confined to Protestantism...it is a 'broad church' so to speak. We were here first! You really need to fight this as it is a very dangerous precedence for any person to allow to be made. Arm yourself with as much information, knowledge etc as you can and go back and challenge. Who knows, this person might even be called to convert to Catholicism once you've finished with him. :biggrin:

This link is a start: http://www.askacatholic.com/holyquotes/documents/_all_catholic_verses.htm#faithplusworks

We've also had a mega debate starting with Sola Scriptura which evolved to include 'sola fide' 'sola gracie' and others...and in all modesty, no one could contest my contributions with enough veracity to encourage them to continue the debate.

You'll have to go back through the archives in the search facility to find it...it was around a year ago. If I can find it, I'll edit this post to include it.

Oh, and don't forget to have a word with the Holy Spirit asking for guidance before you enter the fray. Have you had a word with the Catholic Chaplaincy at your uni? They might want to take this matter up, as it's very serious, regardless of how 'friendly' your antagonists were.

Edit:
Found the thread! http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=732693&highlight=sola+scriptura It's a long one but there's a wealth of Catholic teaching contained in it that will help you enormously in attacking some protestant doctrines whilst defending Catholic ones. Re salvation by faith alone - see my post # 96 et seq on the linked thread.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by jammiebreadman
Hey Adam.

After I spoke quite favourably of the CU at my uni, and I told you I was leading a Bible study group.

I think you may be interested in what's happened since. I let slip (for some reason) to the person in charge of all the Bible study groups that I was a Catholic, and in particular that I didn't accept 'salvation through faith alone'. That didn't go down very well, and she sent someone to try and convince me otherwise, who, after we had a very civil, polite discussion, made it clear that it was his opinion that I believed a heresy, and that this belief if I couldn't change my mind would make me unsuitable to be a leader.

So I've ended up resigning as a Bible study leader, particularly because of all this and also because the girl who I was leading a group with was also in trouble for having a non-Christian boyfriend (but that's a separate issue!)

It feels a bit like I'm just slagging them off, but that's not the case. I really disagree with their views on this, but they honestly believe what they are doing is right and have been ever so nice about it all. But I guess my point is, if you do want to get involved in the CU at your uni, then good for you. But be wary of taking leadership positions, as they're not quite as 'non-denominational' as they would like to make out!


That's mighty interesting, but also a tad worrying. I'm curious, did they not know you were a Catholic before or did they just not know which denomination you were? Also seems a bit over the top of them sending a 'heavy' round, how did you batter them off? Just out of curiosity how do these Bible studies groups work? And Yawn is right, scripture must be read as a totality, not as individual quotes.
(edited 12 years ago)
Oh, also, who has seen this in Preston? It's wonderful to see :h: Bothers me slightly that Our Lord is being carried around in a sports bag though :colonhash:
Original post by medbh4805
I don't post in here, though I probably should.

How do you guys deal with dark thoughts? By that I mean doubts about the faith and the Gospel. I haven't prayed in a while because I keep being filled with doubts and these dark thoughts when I go to do it, then comes the inevitable guilt, self-hate and angst. I want to be a good Catholic again, please give me some comforting words :cry2:


Welcome :hello:

Dark thoughts are really hard. I think something useful to learn is what's called discernment of the spirits: http://ignatianspirituality.com/making-good-decisions/discernment-of-spirits/introduction-to-discernment-of-spirits/ You need to try and take a step back and ask yourself where these thoughts are coming from. Do they come from deep-rooted insecurities in your faith, or do they just pop into your head seemingly out of the blue? If the former, then that's something that needs addressing but if it's the latter, then it's something that needs gentle ignoring.

I get dark thoughts a lot and sometimes can't go to/stay in church because it's just unbearable. I know that I love God and want to serve Him though and so whilst these thoughts are distressing and disruptive at the time (and there's not a huge amount I can do when it kicks off), later on I'm able to think of a dark thought I've had and ask myself, "but is that what you really believe?" :smile:
The Lonely Goatherd's advice is excellent :yep:

The_Lonely_Goatherd
:woo:


I got another reply from that chaplain!

It's in the spoiler below

Spoiler



There seems to be few Catholic students in that case. :hmmm:
Original post by adamrules247
The Lonely Goatherd's advice is excellent :yep:



I got another reply from that chaplain!

It's in the spoiler below

Spoiler



There seems to be few Catholic students in that case. :hmmm:


Interesting.

I suppose another thing to think about is how much support/community feel you'd want after being accepted into the Church (which I believe is happening in August?) :smile:
adamrules247
x


Yawn
x


The_Lonely_Goatherd
x


Thanks for the advice and your kind words. I sturggle with self mastery, even though I know that when it goes all the darkness will come back, my depression and my eating disorder. I feel more comfortable posting in here because I won't get any abusive posts like you get in H&R, although you can't posting anonymously. I will look at the links you've posted and try to pray again, I feel like I've shut Jesus out of my life in the last few months and I want to go back. Again, thank you for your kindness.

fosta, yawn, léigh go raibh ag fanacht i gConnemara agus ag foghlaim Gaeilge, rud maith Gaeilge agam freisin agus sasta le cuid cleachtaidh a dhéanamh mba mhaith leat :smile:
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by medbh4805
Thanks for the advice and your kind words. I sturggle with self mastery, even though I know that when it goes all the darkness will come back, my depression and my eating disorder. I feel more comfortable posting in here because I won't get any abusive posts like you get in H&R, although you can't posting anonymously. I will look at the links you've posted and try to pray again, I feel like I've shut Jesus out of my life in the last few months and I want to go back. Again, thank you for your kindness.


Self mastery is very difficult, especially when you're depressed. I'm sure you will find nothing but the greatest and loveliest support in this thread, and in the Christianity Soc should you decide to post in that as well. I suffer from severe depression and a non-specific psychotic disorder and am quite open about it and my Catholic guilt and struggles in this thread and everyone's been very encouraging :smile:
Original post by adamrules247
That's mighty interesting, but also a tad worrying. I'm curious, did they not know you were a Catholic before or did they just not know which denomination you were? Also seems a bit over the top of them sending a 'heavy' round, how did you batter them off? Just out of curiosity how do these Bible studies groups work? And Yawn is right, scripture must be read as a totality, not as individual quotes.


There were quite a lot of these Bible study groups - I started attending them from beginning of the year (I'm a first year) and really enjoying them. We just met every Monday to read a bit of the Bible, discuss it and prayer a bit - it was a good, short spiritual refilling which I very much enjoyed.

I was asked by the previous leaders if I wanted to become a leader and I started in 3rd term. Now, everyone in my Bible study group knew I was a Cathoic and they knew that when they asked me to lead. Part of the committments of leading this group was attending a preparation session each week, where all the leaders of the groups attended and we just went over the Bible passage for the week, so we could lead a Bible study on it.

There was someone in the CU in charge of all this, a 'leader of the leaders' if you like, who I met up with just for a friendly chat. I'd never hid from anyone that I was a Catholic, but I don't think she knew as it's not something I just tell everyone for no reason.

She had no worries with me being a Catholic, just me rejecting sola fide (although they pretty much go hand in hand). I think our conversation went a bit like this:
Her: What church do you go to?
Me: I just go to the chaplaincy Mass, I'm a Catholic.
Her: Are they any differences you find being a Catholic in the CU, which is mostly evangelicals - fair question really.
Me: Well there's some small doctrinal differences
Her: Like what?
Me: Well Catholics generally reject salvation through faith alone....

And then I was sort of in trouble....and yeah you could say I got sent round a 'heavy'. We just sort of had a mini argument about it, he started with some Bible passages that I couldn't really answer (Ephesians 2:1-10 and Romans 3:20-28, if you're interested), I argued with a bit of St. James, bit of arguing that Jesus had taught good works can lead to salvation and arguing that the doctrine doesn't stand up to the objection 'What happens to those who haven't heard?'

Obviously we weren't going to convince each other in just an hour, I spent the last part trying to convince him that it wasn't such a fundamental difference as he was making out, trying to cite predestination vs not predestination as a more significant difference.

They're main argument against me was since these Bible study groups also do a little bit of evangelism as well, if a non-Christian came to me and said "What must I do to be saved?", I refused to say that I would just say have faith in Jesus, and said I would also say 'live in a good life'. This was their main problem, and alas they didn't think it meant I was suitable to be a leader - which is a shame, as I had really enjoyed the term I had been leading it.

In fairness to them, they do have a doctrinal statement which has salvation through faith alone in, so in a sense they'd made it clear....but I still think it's very, very harsh and hardly a committment to 'Christian unity'.

Sorry I appear to have written quite an essay :colondollar: but it's really good to share this with fellow Catholics!
Original post by yawn
That really stinks, my friend! How dare someone telll you that not adhering to "sola fide" is a heresy. Grrrr...I'm absolutely incandescent with rage. The problem with much of the 'solas' is that texts are wrenched out of context and looked at as stand alone statements. Scripture is composed of both the Old and New Testaments and understanding in coming to the truth involves referring to the two.

Of course there is another very important matter that is involved here. You are being excluded from being a youth leader because Catholic doctrine conflicts with Protestant doctrine. Christianity is not confined to Protestantism...it is a 'broad church' so to speak. We were here first! You really need to fight this as it is a very dangerous precedence for any person to allow to be made. Arm yourself with as much information, knowledge etc as you can and go back and challenge. Who knows, this person might even be called to convert to Catholicism once you've finished with him. :biggrin:

This link is a start: http://www.askacatholic.com/holyquotes/documents/_all_catholic_verses.htm#faithplusworks

We've also had a mega debate starting with Sola Scriptura which evolved to include 'sola fide' 'sola gracie' and others...and in all modesty, no one could contest my contributions with enough veracity to encourage them to continue the debate.

You'll have to go back through the archives in the search facility to find it...it was around a year ago. If I can find it, I'll edit this post to include it.

Oh, and don't forget to have a word with the Holy Spirit asking for guidance before you enter the fray. Have you had a word with the Catholic Chaplaincy at your uni? They might want to take this matter up, as it's very serious, regardless of how 'friendly' your antagonists were.

Edit:
Found the thread! http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=732693&highlight=sola+scriptura It's a long one but there's a wealth of Catholic teaching contained in it that will help you enormously in attacking some protestant doctrines whilst defending Catholic ones. Re salvation by faith alone - see my post # 96 et seq on the linked thread.


Hey Yawn, thanks for the sympathy I really appreciate it. It does kind of suck!

In fairness to the CU, they do have a doctrinal statment which had sola fide in, I did mention before I became a leader that I had some problems with it - it was in my contract when I signed it. But the guy I said this to, said it was just for me to recognise this was what the CU believed, rather than having to believe it - which I though was fair. But yeah it was a different person, in charge of all these groups who had a problem with it.

It's a shame really as it was something that just came up in conversation. I'd never tried to enforce this belief on anyone, it never had really come up and I really don't think it made any difference to me as a leader that I held this belief.

As I said to Adam, I was asked "What would you say to a non-Christian if they asked you what must they do to be saved". And I refused to say just faith, but to live a good life as well, and this was what they had a problem with, as our Bible study group does some evangelism as well, and they didn't want me saying this to non-Christians in a sense.

(They also asked me "Are you relying on your faith or your works to get you into heaven?" - I had no idea what to answer, out of interest, what would you answer?)

I'm afraid this whole issue is sort of over now, it all happens in the last week of the year for me and now uni's over for the summer. I did feel like fighting for my place, and I would have done but as I mentioned my co-leader had decided to resign (as she had been pressurized to break up with her non-Christian boyfriend of 2 years, or she may have been given the sack), so I also resigned in support of and in solidarity with her as well as in protest at our two issues with the CU.

So really I don't think there is anything else I can do. It's very sad, but yeah even without my issue I would have resigned with my coleader anyway....

Thanks for all the links, they would have been useful when I did have my argument with the guy. I thought I did an okay job of attacking sola fide, but I had trouble defending myself against particular Bible passages. What's your opinion on Ephesians 2:1-10, Romans 3:20-28 and John 3:1-21? Apologies if you've addressed them already in the links you gave me, I don't have time to read them yet, but I look forward to reading them later.

I've seen you around a bit before I joined this society, so I certainly know you can debate well, yawn. I look forward to discussing more important issues like this with you! Thanks again for the support!
Reply 2332
Original post by jammiebreadman
What's your opinion on Ephesians 2:1-10, Romans 3:20-28 and John 3:1-21? Apologies if you've addressed them already in the links you gave me, I don't have time to read them yet, but I look forward to reading them later.


Ephesians 2: 1-10 Ask those who claim that our salvation is assured by faith alone - "What happens to someone who has accepted Christ, who apparently has salvation, but sins big time? What happens if he dies unrepentant?"

Rom. 3:20,28 Protestants mistakenly assume that any action one does, including acts of interior faith, count as one of the works the apostle Paul says cannot save us. They are wrong. Paul explicitly states that he is denying "works of law" (Rom. 3:20, 28, Gal. 2:16, 3:2, 5, 10), and numerous references prove the law he is talking about is the Mosaic Law (Rom. 2:14, 17, 20b, 25-28, 3:21, 28-29, 5:13-14, Gal. 2:14-16, 3:10, 17, 4:21, 5:3) Paul is not explicitly saying he is excluding works or law for salvation. What Paul says is that we cannot be justified by "works of the Law."

John 3:1-21 Most Fundamentalist Protestants rely particularly on verse 16 of this section from Chapter 3. I am copying you part of an article from catholic.com which will help you understand better, the translation and subsequent misunderstanding because of a faulty translation on the part of those who rely on these verses to substantiate their view that faith alone secures salvation.

John 3:16 is an important verse with an interesting twist that doesn't immediately appear in the English translation. I asked my friend if he had ever looked carefully at the tenses of the action words in John 3:16. He hadn't, and because his tradition tells him that one-time-belief is the basis of salvation, he automatically understood John to mean that, by a momentary mental assent to Christ, one could be assured of eternal security and be guaranteed a place in heaven.

I unpacked the verse to give him the information he lacked, the same insight I had lacked all my life before I began looking into the claims of the Catholic Church.

Before we start, I should say a little about action words. In Greek, the language of the New Testament, there are many tenses for verbs. We will discuss two: aorist and present. To put it simply, the Aorist tense describes one point in time, [Aorist Tense: The aorist tense is characterized by its emphasis on punctiliar action; that is, the concept of the verb is considered without regard for past, present, or future time. There is no direct or clear English equivalent for this tense, though it is generally rendered as a simple past tense in most translations. The events described by the aorist tense are classified into a number of categories by grammarians. The three most common of these are (1) a view of the action as having begun from a certain point ("inceptive aorist"), or (2) having ended at a certain point ("cumulative aorist"), or (3) merely existing at a certain point ("punctiliar aorist"). The categorization of other cases can be found in Greek reference grammars. The English reader need not concern himself with most of these finer points concerning the aorist tense, since in most cases they cannot be rendered accurately in English translation, being fine points of Greek exegesis only. The common practice of rendering an aorist by a simple English past tense suffices in most cases.] while the present tense is used for current, ongoing action.[Present Tense: According to Dana and Manatee in their Manual Grammar of the Greek New Testament, "The fundamental significance of the present tense is the idea of progress. It is the linear tense . . . the progressive force of the present tense should always be considered as primary, especially with reference to the potential moods, which in the nature of the case do not need any 'present punctiliar' tense." Narrowing it down further, they say, "There are three varieties of the present tense in which its fundamental idea of progress is especially patent. Under 'the progressive present: "This use is manifestly nearest the root idea of the tense. It signifies action in progress , or state of persistence." In short the present tense expresses ongoing action in the present time.] Another way of contrasting the two is to think of Aorist as being geometrically represented by a point, and present by a continuous line. With this basic understanding, lets look at John 3:16:

"For God so loved [aorist, a past point in time] the world, that he gave [aorist, a past point in time] his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth [present, current, progressive action] in him should not perish [aorist, a past point in time], but have [present, current, progressive action] everlasting life."

The present tense, "that whosoever believeth in him," or in other words, "that whosoever is believing in Him" sheds a different light on the entire verse. One would expect, according to Protestant tradition, the word "believe" to be aorist, showing that it is a "one-point-in-time" event. I used to say, "I believed in Christ on such and such a date, so I know I am saved." It could be asked why Jesus switched to the present tense in a verse full of aorists. The answer is that Jesus makes it utterly clear what he is really trying to say; that this belief is an acting, continual belief, and not just a past act of faith.

Notice that "have everlasting life" is also in the present tense. It does not say you will have eternal life in the past or future, but that you will currently be having eternal life. One Greek grammar [James Hewitt, New Testament Greek Hedrickson Publishers,1986).13.] explains the present tense in this way, "The present tense is basically linear or durative, ongoing in its kind of action. The durative notion may be expressed graphically by an unbroken line, since the action is simply continuous. This is known as the progressive present. Refinements of this general rule will be encountered; however, the fundamental distinction will not be negated." Applying this definition here, he who is currently, habitually and continuously believing will be currently and presently having eternal life.

Next, I asked him to consider whether the word translated "believe" means a mere mental assent. The word in biblical times carried with it the concept of obedience and reliance. Kittel [Gerhard Kittel, Theological Dictionary of the NewTestament Eerdmans, 1968] states, "pisteuo means 'to trust' (also 'to obey')." Vines [W. E. Vines, An Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1984)] says, "[R]eliance upon, not mere credence." This is confirmed further by John the Baptist's statement in John 3:36, "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not (apeitheo) the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him." The word "apeitheo" is understood by all good translators and commentators to mean obedience. The opposite (antonym) of believe is disobey. The verse in the RSV says, "He who believes in the Son . . . he who disobeys the Son . . ." The NASB translates the verse as, "He who believes in the Son has eternal life; but he who does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him." Kittel, a Protestant reference work, clearly defines apeitheo to mean "to be disobedient." The word belief has the element of obedience wrapped in its arms and the opposite of biblical belief is disobedience.

Where I used to say, "I believed in Christ on such and such a date, so I know I am saved" I now say, "I did believe in Christ, I am believing in Christ, and I am being saved." My Fundamentalist friend has never responded to my explanation of these verses. I hope someday he will see past the high walls of his Fundamentalist traditions and see the great beauty and wisdom of the Church founded by Jesus Christ.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by adamrules247
Oh, also, who has seen this in Preston? It's wonderful to see :h: Bothers me slightly that Our Lord is being carried around in a sports bag though :colonhash:


Thank you for sharing this. Have to agree that the Eucharist could have been carried in something more spiritual.
Reply 2334
Original post by barnetlad
Thank you for sharing this. Have to agree that the Eucharist could have been carried in something more spiritual.


Pope Benedict's Encyclical, Redemptionis Sacramentum instructs on the handling of the consecrated species, but I doubt he could have much to condemn in bringing Christ to the people in such a profound manner.

My initial reaction in the first few seconds was one of disquiet. However, the impact of the work of the Capuchins in this shopping precinct was inspiring. People knelt in adoration, others stood by in silence whilst a few passed by without barely a backward glance. All will have been affected whether they realised it or not at that moment.

Outdoor processions in the times of our grandparents occurred several times during the Liturgical Year. Christ, present in the monstrance, was carried through the streets with the faithful following behind alternately praying and praising in song.

The clear message is that Christ remains among us during our daily lives.

Thanks adam, for bringing the video to our attention. :smile:

For your interest: http://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/ccdds/documents/rc_con_ccdds_doc_20040423_redemptionis-sacramentum_en.html
(edited 12 years ago)
brothers. i was hoping some of you can help me. i am feeling very sorry for myself.

for the longest while i have felt i am called to have relationships and be married, but not necessarily to have children, and certainly not lots of chilren.

i am 25, and all my friends are now engaged or in long term relationships. since i converted to catholicicsm for many years i have not met any dude that respects that i want to reserve intimacy for marriage, i also dont belive in contraception (does anyone else actually follow this??) and instead all dudes cheat loads on me and make nasty fun of me.

all my friends and workmates think i am homosexual and enjoy women and breasts and nudey lady-bits and things because i have not had any boyfriend for many many years. they also think i am very weird and extremeist.

so yeah im pretty lonely and not having any prospects for dating cute dudes. but im thinking if i was called to the single and >lifelong celibate< life, i wouldnt feel as sad and lonely looking at all my mates paired up and cuddling on FB.

i have been discernign my vocation fo a few years. do you tink there is such thing as being called to be single? or it it mainly the default if you cant find anyone to mate with.
Original post by shinytoy
brothers. i was hoping some of you can help me. i am feeling very sorry for myself.

for the longest while i have felt i am called to have relationships and be married, but not necessarily to have children, and certainly not lots of chilren.

i am 25, and all my friends are now engaged or in long term relationships. since i converted to catholicicsm for many years i have not met any dude that respects that i want to reserve intimacy for marriage, i also dont belive in contraception (does anyone else actually follow this??) and instead all dudes cheat loads on me and make nasty fun of me.

all my friends and workmates think i am homosexual and enjoy women and breasts and nudey lady-bits and things because i have not had any boyfriend for many many years. they also think i am very weird and extremeist.

so yeah im pretty lonely and not having any prospects for dating cute dudes. but im thinking if i was called to the single and >lifelong celibate< life, i wouldnt feel as sad and lonely looking at all my mates paired up and cuddling on FB.

i have been discernign my vocation fo a few years. do you tink there is such thing as being called to be single? or it it mainly the default if you cant find anyone to mate with.


Hi. Let me tell you what I think on this issue. First of all, yes, some people are called to be single as God may have a vocation for them where marriage would be a distraction. Can I ask what has made you think you're being called to be married (but to not necessarily have children). Have you thought about signing up to some specific Catholic events for people of your age? You'll meet plenty of people our age there and it could be a brilliant chance to socialise. You could consider helping out at Church as well, they're always on the lookout for volunteers and I'm sure would welcome any help you could give. The men who you have been dating and don't respect you; stay away from people like that. If they won't respect your religion and its beliefs they aren't worth the time of day, look for nice Catholic men is my advice.

Oh and on contraception; yes I do agree with that rule and should I be married I'll be having as many children as God will permit.
Also, I've got some very exciting news to share with everybody! I'll post soon :ninja:

(along with replying to the other posters who've quoted me).
Reply 2338
Original post by shinytoy

Original post by shinytoy
brothers. i was hoping some of you can help me. i am feeling very sorry for myself.


You're living in the london area, right? Get involved with the youth side of Westminster.
You can sign up to the newsletter which'll let you know what's going on here: http://www.rcdow.org.uk/signup/signup_yaya.asp
Original post by Aula
You're living in the london area, right? Get involved with the youth side of Westminster.
You can sign up to the newsletter which'll let you know what's going on here: http://www.rcdow.org.uk/signup/signup_yaya.asp


Thanks for posting that: I've just signed up :smile:

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