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Boyfriend only watches anal porn

My current boyfriend only ever watches anal porn. He's made no secret of the fact that he loves anal sex and it is a big thing for him. He told me that his ex loved it, went wild when he did it and had orgasms from it without any other stimulation.

Thing is, I'm really a fan of penis-in-vagina sex, and, although I've tried anal with several boyfriends, it really isn't my thing. I get no pleasure from it, and to be crude it just feels like having a **** which isn't really a sexy feeling for me. I don't want to do it with him, I don't want to have anal sex as part of my sex life, he can have as much oral sex and intercourse as he likes, but I'm just not up for anal.

He doesn't push me into it because he says that he's only up for it if a woman gets actual physical pleasure out of it and wants it enough to demand it.

It makes me feel really insecure though that it is this big thing for him, that his ex loved and and he loved having with her and I hate. I can't understand it - my ex wasn't into anal porn at all. I'm not a prude about porn, me and my ex used to talk very openly and show each other what we liked to watch. We had similar taste in porn and liked the same things in bed. But - anal and nothing else?! I just don't know how to deal with his love of anal and my insecurity over his ex!

tl;dr: My boyfriend loves anal sex and so did his ex. I hate it and feel insecure and like he must have enjoyed sex with his ex more than me.
You mustn't ever do something you don't want to do out of pressure - either intentional or unintentional. You should do it because you want to and because you feel comfortable doing it. What you have to realise is that for some reason or other, he's not with his ex any more and he's with you - because he likes you. Put his ex out of your mind, you shouldn't compare yourself with her because you're both different people. Be secure in yourself and have fun with sex - don't feel pressured or insecure :smile:
So your bf is a fudge packer?

Just warn him that should he push where its not wanted, he might just break it.
I hate it for the same reason, and I could not be in a relationship with someone who it was that important to. I just plain won't do it.
Reply 4
Well, it's good that he's not pushing for it and that you're not going 'I don't like it but...'

I'm not enormously surprised that he's watching porn featuring it. Would you be happier if he kept this quiet?

There are people out there who'd have anal with him. He's with you. If he chooses not to be with you because he cannot live without anal, he wasn't worth having. If he stays, putting you above anal, then he values you more.

There is something I enjoy which my partner cannot or is not interested in doing (it doesn't matter which). Our deal is that we can have other partners. Is that an option for you? If it was, what rules would you want?

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