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Letting go?

Hi guys, I'm new here -waves- :smile:

Backstory
So here's the dealo.

Me and my ex were school sweethearts and in a relationship for a year and a half. She's amazing, great, perfect. I'm so in love with her.

We broke up, because I needed time to think this relationship through, see if was what I wanted. It really was what I wanted, I had a gut feeling, but needed to be sure. She didn't want a break so it lead to me ending it.

I feel like such a clown.

Main
So we are friends now, well at least trying to be. We always argue and make up, like we did towards the end of the relationship. I know I care for her so much and love her too. I know that I am a big part of her life too.

I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to continue arguing. We keep making "fresh starts" and they always go wrong.

I care for her deeply, I have said things I didn't mean, broken promises too. I felt terrible. I have apologised for those things, bought her gifts too. I know that she may never forget that. The arguments we have almost erase those gifts and the things I have said.

Ending/Questions
I don't want to not be her friend, I don't want to argue either. We are better as friends than a relationship, because when we are good, we are amazing, and when we are bad, we are ridiculous. I love her!

What can I do?
I am the main reason for arguments
I can be boring and depressing especially when I miss her
I don't want to hurt her and I don't want to see her get hurt either
I don't want to be the creepy ex-boyfriend, but I do feel like it!
Help!!!

Reply 1

pinkangelgirl

sounds like me and my ex/boyfriend/i dont know what we are.

Reply 2

The Real Quaid

This is only one viewpoint, but you might do better having more time apart from each other to make you both realise that you want each other/or don't.

It's common to love your ex, though