[emmpea]

My daughter has been at Uni since September, and is stuggling big time. She has now decided it isn't for her, as her health has started to be badly effected, and this just is not worth it.
I just do not know how to help her, she has our full support, but we literally dont know which way to turn, we dont know how the tuition fees are paid back, we are told she will be liable for her accommodation for the whole year, so as parents we have to pay £3200 for a room she wont be in,- and we just dont have this money laying around!- we dont know how to sort anyuthing out for her, and are at a loss, I would so appreciate any help anyone can give me.

[Mr.Khane]

Pray to God for the best success and leave everything in his hands

[Entrepreneur123]

(Original post by emmpea)
My daughter has been at Uni since September, and is stuggling big time. She has now decided it isn't for her, as her health has started to be badly effected, and this just is not worth it.
I just do not know how to help her, she has our full support, but we literally dont know which way to turn, we dont know how the tuition fees are paid back, we are told she will be liable for her accommodation for the whole year, so as parents we have to pay £3200 for a room she wont be in,- and we just dont have this money laying around!- we dont know how to sort anyuthing out for her, and are at a loss, I would so appreciate any help anyone can give me.

Did your daughter recieve a student loan? If not then she can still apply for one and that should be able to cover the rent costs. If she did but it's still not enough then try calling the loans company and asking them to increase your loan, a mate of mine done that and got an extra £2000.

[emmpea]

Hi, yes she did have a student loan, and has paid her 1st installment of accommodtion with it, I have spoken with student finance, and they say she just has to speak to the university to find out if there is an overpayment and what fees are, and cannot help me with the accommodation- I have spoken just now to them, and they say we are liable for the rest unless she can get someone to take on the tenancy- which is unlikely at this time of year- I am trying to gt hold of the student support and wellbeing department at the uni but just getting an answer phone- it is so frustrating as we are 2 and half hours away, and my daughter just isnt well enough to cope with all this stress, and we really dont have any idea which way to turn- there really is not much support from these people once they get the student to sign up and pay!

[Entrepreneur123]

(Original post by emmpea)
Hi, yes she did have a student loan, and has paid her 1st installment of accommodtion with it, I have spoken with student finance, and they say she just has to speak to the university to find out if there is an overpayment and what fees are, and cannot help me with the accommodation- I have spoken just now to them, and they say we are liable for the rest unless she can get someone to take on the tenancy- which is unlikely at this time of year- I am trying to gt hold of the student support and wellbeing department at the uni but just getting an answer phone- it is so frustrating as we are 2 and half hours away, and my daughter just isnt well enough to cope with all this stress, and we really dont have any idea which way to turn- there really is not much support from these people once they get the student to sign up and pay!

How was your daughter planning on paying it before she went to university? Is there any way that she can extend her overdraft, or anyone that you can borrow money from? I would also try the loans company again and explain your exact problem, and see what they say.

[emmpea]

She was paying for her accommodation and living through her student loan, and also has a small part-time job, plus we send her allowance for food costs etc, but the accommodation will need re-paying immediately it seems for the rest of the un-used year, and presumably the tuition fee and loan received so far will be repayable throught her normal repayment plan, ie upon earning over 15K per year, it is the accommodation people and contract who are the real worry, an extra loan at the moment is a joke- she wont be earning, I receive disability living allowance- i really cant see the banks running to our assistance, can you?
Also, I have heard there is a difference if she finishes before the 1st december or not?- the problem then is that the uni is all on strike tomorrow, and the next day is the 1st December!!!- - if i were as lucky on other things!!!!

[notanumber]

Try reading this article which may help.

http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/wiki..._Your_Finances

I suggest that you contact the accommodation office again and ask them to advertise the room, check their records to see if anyone is wanting to move into halls etc. Don't be afraid to keep pestering them, ask to speak to the manager etc The more fuss you make, the more chance of getting someone into the room. Ask your daughter to put up notices in the Students Union advertising the room as well.

I hope things work out ok for her.
I

[balloon_parade]

Usually it's up to the student to find somebody else to move into the room and would then need to pay up until she finds someone.

I don't think most landlords/halls are bothered who is in the room, as long as they are getting rent.

Advertise the room as much as possible and someone will rent it eventually.

Hope this helps, it's a shame she hasn't settled and isn't enjoying the course. I hope she feels better soon.

[aliasunknown]

(Original post by emmpea)
She was paying for her accommodation and living through her student loan, and also has a small part-time job, plus we send her allowance for food costs etc, but the accommodation will need re-paying immediately it seems for the rest of the un-used year, and presumably the tuition fee and loan received so far will be repayable throught her normal repayment plan, ie upon earning over 15K per year, it is the accommodation people and contract who are the real worry, an extra loan at the moment is a joke- she wont be earning, I receive disability living allowance- i really cant see the banks running to our assistance, can you?
Also, I have heard there is a difference if she finishes before the 1st december or not?- the problem then is that the uni is all on strike tomorrow, and the next day is the 1st December!!!- - if i were as lucky on other things!!!!

HI

Sorry your daughter is in this position. I felt like that in the december of my first year and i went home telling my parents i wanted to drop out and was really suffering from homesickness, lonliness etc. I decided to stick with it and im glad i did. Just make sure she is absolutely sure as dropping out is a big decision and it may be possible to change course/halls etc if this is the problem.

If she is certain on droping out then yes i believe that there is a difference if you drop out before the 1st of december then i think you dont pay the second half of the tuition fee so only half of the £3000or so that it is. If you contact the univeristy first thing on the first then you might be able to convince them to drop the second half of the fee but this a university thing rather than a national thing so im afraid i cant be more specific than that. As for the accomodation try and talk to someone at the halls of residence, or think about putting an ad in the student newspaper for someone to replace her in halls, it might be that someone hates it where they are so will be willing to take her place. Good luck!

[emmpea]

thanks for the kind words and advice- it is very much appreciated.
I will let you know how we get on- I just wish I had a magic wand to get out of this mess, all you want to do as a parent is make things better, to see your child in such distress just makes me feel so useless

[emmpea]

Just an update to the lovley people who have given me advice- we have had to take our daughter to her gp, who has said she has to take at least 6 weeks out, this will take her to mid January when she can reassess the situation. At present she isnt in a frame of mind to make this decision, according to the accommodtion there isnt a way around the rest of the years rent, other than as you say, get someone to take over the tenancy, but I really dont know what the chances of this will be given that most people have accommodation and with the Xmas break no-one is around, it seems that we cant make any moves just yet, but it really doesnt look too good re the 2nd semester. - Kids --who'd have 'em!!! It feels alien as a parent to have to speak to unknown people on this website, but I really thank you for all of your kind assistance, it really is not easy coping, but getting support from you like we have had has certainly eased the burden, - thanks again!

[ElfManiac]

Hi,

With regards to accommodation the university may well have exchange students coming for the second semester, so if you can get in touch with the Erasmus/Exchange office and student society. I have seen a lot of people advertising rooms on the Erasmus facebook groups for students who are only coming for the second semester and haven't found accommodation yet.
There may also be second/third year students whose houseshares weren't quite what they anticipated and who want to move back into halls.

Best of luck finding a solution and I hope your daughter comes to a decision she's happy with

[olddad]

What nobody has so far asked is why she is wanting top drop out. Might she still change her mind? Many students get off to a poor start for many reasons and then go on to enjoy a good time at uni. Where is she and what is she studying. What has gone wrong?Is she just homesick? Has she not made new friends. All these things are quite common and are resolvable. PM me if you wish.

[Acidedge]

(Original post by olddad)
What nobody has so far asked is why she is wanting top drop out. Might she still change her mind? Many students get off to a poor start for many reasons and then go on to enjoy a good time at uni.

Just what I would have posted.

I know everyone is different, but I can't understand why people drop out of University after working so hard to get there. Especially in the first few months of the first year. If you hate the course, investigate changing courses. If you hate the people you live with, move. If you don't have any friends, join a new society or club. I'd discuss why your daughter wants to drop out and see what you can do get her to stay.

[emmpea]

My daughter had set her heart on a place at Newcastle university- needed 3 a grades at A level, and had her english paper downmarked, even though she was a straight A student at the subject, so she had to take a place at her 2nd option, and is studying English Literature. After 6 weeks she knew the course just was not for her, but persevered thinking things would change, the Uni said she could definitely not change course as they were all completely full, and she would have to stick it out, change next year, pay the higher fees etc, but this just does not solve the problem, and due to her health now being effected it seems to have just got hold of her. She has seen a counsellor there, who she says just didnt want her to leave - apparently after speaking to a family friend who works in the finance department at our local Uni this is common, as they lose their funding from the Government if students leave in the 1st year. So they are saying stay, she knows this is making her worse, but they cant offer any other solution, so we are just left to pick up the pieces. She did work hard to get to Uni, but had a tonne of pressure from her 6th Form college when she said she didnt know 100% wether to go or not, as all they told her was she was in the top 5% academic of the college and this could not be wasted, so the pressure has been on for her for quite some time

[winning11]

(Original post by emmpea)
My daughter had set her heart on a place at Newcastle university- needed 3 a grades at A level, and had her english paper downmarked, even though she was a straight A student at the subject, so she had to take a place at her 2nd option, and is studying English Literature. After 6 weeks she knew the course just was not for her, but persevered thinking things would change, the Uni said she could definitely not change course as they were all completely full, and she would have to stick it out, change next year, pay the higher fees etc, but this just does not solve the problem, and due to her health now being effected it seems to have just got hold of her. She has seen a counsellor there, who she says just didnt want her to leave - apparently after speaking to a family friend who works in the finance department at our local Uni this is common, as they lose their funding from the Government if students leave in the 1st year. So they are saying stay, she knows this is making her worse, but they cant offer any other solution, so we are just left to pick up the pieces. She did work hard to get to Uni, but had a tonne of pressure from her 6th Form college when she said she didnt know 100% wether to go or not, as all they told her was she was in the top 5% academic of the college and this could not be wasted, so the pressure has been on for her for quite some time

i shall draw up a list of staying there v leaving

pros

if she sticks it out, she can perhaps gain a first or a 2:1 making it likely to be able to transfer to a top uni, so at least the higher fees may be more worth it?

she can make use of the fees being paid this year else they will be wasted



cons

miserable for a while, but as it's already december, there's not really that much time left


health, not sure what you meant by poor health, like depression or physically? of course this needs to be addressed whatever it is


hope it gets sorted soon

[carnationlilyrose]

(Original post by emmpea)
My daughter had set her heart on a place at Newcastle university- needed 3 a grades at A level, and had her english paper downmarked, even though she was a straight A student at the subject, so she had to take a place at her 2nd option, and is studying English Literature. After 6 weeks she knew the course just was not for her, but persevered thinking things would change, the Uni said she could definitely not change course as they were all completely full, and she would have to stick it out, change next year, pay the higher fees etc, but this just does not solve the problem, and due to her health now being effected it seems to have just got hold of her. She has seen a counsellor there, who she says just didnt want her to leave - apparently after speaking to a family friend who works in the finance department at our local Uni this is common, as they lose their funding from the Government if students leave in the 1st year. So they are saying stay, she knows this is making her worse, but they cant offer any other solution, so we are just left to pick up the pieces. She did work hard to get to Uni, but had a tonne of pressure from her 6th Form college when she said she didnt know 100% wether to go or not, as all they told her was she was in the top 5% academic of the college and this could not be wasted, so the pressure has been on for her for quite some time

I've nothing new to add to the helpful posts you've received, but just wanted to add my sympathy as a parent. It's very hard to watch this happening and I wish I could wave a magic wand for you, but can only say you're not alone in this situation by a long chalk. Good luck to you both.