[YorkieLad101]

kick em owt

[iambengreen]

(Original post by Steevee)
I'd point them to the various buildings in my locality that are unoccupied.

If they then refuse to leave, I would go in at night with a cricket bat and proceed to break as many limbs as I can. I'd roll their broken bodies out of the front door, down the drive and into the road. I'd then go back inside and make myself a cuppa.

HAHA, brilliant.

[CyclopsRock]

I have a wee story.

A man I know used to own a small business, about 30 years ago. What he'd do is, with his wife, collect people's (clean) clothes, take them home, iron them, take them back out to them on hangers and charge them. Effectively it was an ironing service with courier'ing. The man did the picking up and delivering, and the wife did most of the ironing. Eventually the business got larger and larger and they hired a few more people to help out with the ironing, and the deliveries and collections went from a few days a week to all day, every day, including at weekends. As the service continued to grow still, they bought a laundrette, and then another, and then another. The laundrettes all had flats above them, which were rented out by the business. In one such flat, one of the staff at the laundrette downstairs rented it, and she had a good relationship with the owners. Her boyfriend ended up moving in too, and whilst he wasn't in the tennancy, they shared the flat and the rent was always paid on time. This continued on for about five years, at which point the woman in question amicably left the business and decided to move out, to move away from London.

Unfortunately, she also split up with her boyfriend at this point - who then refused to move out. He was basically a waste of space - he has no job or income. Unfortunately, because he had been living in the property for a number of years without paying for it, and it was not the business owners primary home, they couldn't immediately force him to leave due to squatting rights. They ended up taking him to court, where he had a lawyer provided to him by the government, owing to him having no money himself. The cost of fighting this legal battle took a large toll on the couple. The squatters lawyer did everything he could not to win the case, but to delay it long enough that the couple would be starved of funds. This happened after a year or two of the man still living in their property, rent free. At this point, the couple threw in the towel as they could no longer afford the large costs of the legal fees combined with the lack of rent from the property (on which they were still paying a mortgage). As a final slap in the face, as the couple were deemed to have "lost" by dropping the case, the cost of the defendents legal fees were then thrust upon them. This final blow caused them to declare bankruptcy. All of this time, they'd been following the advice of their own lawyers - and in the end, this one man's actions caused them to lose not only their three laundrettes, but their home too, where they had two young children. They were forced to move into a much smaller home and rent, as their bankruptcy meant they couldn't get a mortgage (and, frankly, their now severely diminished income meant they could scarcely afford one anyway.

A legal system in which this can occur is pretty diabolical. The final moments of that case ended around the early 90's or late 80's, to put it in context. I'm not intimately aware of how the rights of squatters have changed in that time, though.

[johndoranglasgow]

I'd phone the police and have them removed because thats a retarded law and doesn't apply in Scotland
FREEEDDDOOOMMMMMMM!!!!!

[Indo-Chinese Food]

(Original post by Steevee)
I'd point them to the various buildings in my locality that are unoccupied.

If they then refuse to leave, I would go in at night with a cricket bat and proceed to break as many limbs as I can. I'd roll their broken bodies out of the front door, down the drive and into the road. I'd then go back inside and make myself a cuppa.

And you would be charged with aggravated assault with a weapon. the rights of legal eviction of squatters are protected under english law as crazy and backward as the legal system - for decades now.

[Beebumble]

Give them the Jenna Marbles face:


Works for everything.

[Steevee]

(Original post by Indo-Chinese Food)
And you would be charged with aggravated assault with a weapon. the rights of legal eviction of squatters are protected under english law as crazy and backward as the legal system - for decades now.

I know. Wouldn't stop me.

Well maybe it would. So I'd make sure I have an alibi and then go do it. I'm sure there would be plenty of sympathetic people willing to help me out. In short, I don't care what the law says, if someone was occupying my home then I would use extreme force to evict them if they did not comply with my demands that they leave. And it is something I'd be willing to go to prison for, but I'd take pains not to.

[Darth Stewie]

Not call the police, throw them out, if they come back with the police "never seen them before in my life"

[Bill_Gates]

i would say "somebody going to get hurt real bad"

[michael321]

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/HomeAndC...rs/DG_10022452

Apparently it's legal to force entry to your own home if you are a residential occupier, and you can call the police and report a crime. Don't know if anything would come of it though.

[fudgesundae]

(Original post by Indo-Chinese Food)
And you would be charged with aggravated assault with a weapon. the rights of legal eviction of squatters are protected under english law as crazy and backward as the legal system - for decades now.

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/HomeAndC...rs/DG_10022452

As I have posted before, the Law is changing to allow you to break down your door, if necessary, to reenter your property if their are squatters present.

[Indo-Chinese Food]

(Original post by fudgesundae)
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/HomeAndC...rs/DG_10022452

As I have posted before, the Law is changing to allow you to break down your door, if necessary, to reenter your property if their are squatters present.

It doesnt allow you to have at them with a cricket bat though, that was what was bening discussed. But i agree that up until recently it wasnt even the case, the government has been forced by a few high profile squats to change the law to force the police to get involved on the side of the owner.

[fudgesundae]

(Original post by Indo-Chinese Food)
It doesnt allow you to have at them with a cricket bat though, that was what was bening discussed. But i agree that up until recently it wasnt even the case, the government has been forced by a few high profile squats to change the law to force the police to get involved on the side of the owner.

Yeh, I was more referring to the second part of your reply, obviously you wouldn't be able to beat them lol

[HP15]

Not one of you will do squat (pun intended) because as soon as you show up and start getting angry, they call the police.

The police will arrest you if any damage is done and they will put the squatters rights before yours.

Welcome to England.

[infernalcradle]

(Original post by AspiringGenius)
Get a beat box and a microphone, then gas them out with repeating renditions of the element song...

There's... Antinomy arsenic aluminium selenium
And hydrogen and oxygen and nitrogen and rhenium



That should do it

love the idea

I'd personally put a lovely bit of opera/classical on full blast....

and keep going until they left

and I like that stuff, so it;s cool

[ChapelTom]

If someone is on your property you have a duty to defend it and your possessions.

I'd do what ever is necessary and if it means battering them with the nearest thing to hand, I'd do it.

[nmds]

I get it ... this is just another Tram Lady thread in disguise.

I'd welcome them of course ... wouldn't want to seem anti-squatter.

[AspiringGenius]

(Original post by infernalcradle)
love the idea

I'd personally put a lovely bit of opera/classical on full blast....

and keep going until they left

and I like that stuff, so it;s cool

I love classical/opera!!!

I think some of Bach's Brandenburg Concertos.

All of them.

[rorydaredking]

(Original post by nutrition2012)
Did anyone watch homes from hell, where a couple went out and came back home to find squatters moved in and changed the locks yet the police won't get rid of the squatters unless they said they need a court order?? why isn't it a criminal offence in the UK when it is in Scotland so the police remove them!

That's ludicrous I think as essentially someone has stolen your house yet just because they have not taken anything out of your house yet or broken down the door means it is legal - I can't understand what logic this is

If you were in a situation where you return from work and find squatters inside, what would you do?

I would personally call the police and say my house has been burgled before breaking the door down asking the squatters to leave (in most cases they don't as they believe they have ''squatters rights''). And if they didn't shift when the police came I'd keep calling the police till they remove the people inside my home.

Knock the doors down or break a window to get in, then say that some burglars had broken in. Glue the locks then they can't say they have the keys. And **** them up a bit the thieving c****

[infernalcradle]

(Original post by AspiringGenius)
I love classical/opera!!!

I think some of Bach's Brandenburg Concertos.

All of them.

haha, that would be good

or maybe a bit of "ave maria"...I've recently found a new love for that piece....

although I wouldn't rule out any bocelli, russel watson etc.