The Student Room Group

Finding the right person?

I have been single now for the past year and a half, and I am finding it really hard to get back into dating.

All the people I meet are usually friend zoned nigh immediately, and I have yet to find one person I'm attracted to (both physically and mentally).

This leads me to my main question, should I try harder looking for someone and be more proactive, or should I wait it out and hope for the best?

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The christmas time blues suck :s-smilie:
(edited 12 years ago)
If you're being friend zoned, you're probably leaving it too long to make a move. Either that or they're not interested. As for your main question, a bit of both. If you're out with mates (I presume you're at uni?) make an effort to get out there and talk to girls, join socs if you're at uni, approach girls at the library if / when you go and see a girl you like, but don't make it your main goal. Concentrate on other areas of your life too. It should happen naturally with a bit of effort.
good luck :smile:

EDIT: Oh, and if you feel like this now because your friends seem all loved up, just remember: more relationships end at christmas than any other time of the year. People tend to re-evaluate their relationships more at christmas and your friends could just be trying to exaggerate how happy and perfect their love lives are.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 2
I'm the one thats friend zoning others as I have yet to find someone I'm interested in (all or nothing kind of thing), and yes I'm in uni and have a well paid job so I don't have as many barriers.

I have met so many people and my life is going awesome at the moment, just this specific element that's getting me down.

And I know I do have to put in some effort, as it rarely happens without action (from my personal experience), I'm guessing I'm being too "picky", or am I shooting myself in the foot waiting (which may never happen).
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 3
If you're "desperate" so to speak, look harder. If not, don't simple.
Reply 4
Original post by Belizibub
If you're "desperate" so to speak, look harder. If not, don't simple.


Not that I am desperate as you bluntly put it, it's not simple from my point of view, the idea of going out to basically get laid which I'm guessing is your idea? doesn't appeal to me and I find that sort of life meaningless, while I also still don't want to sit on my arse and wait.

See the conundrum? guess not.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 5
Original post by Upperfoot
Not that I am desperate as you bluntly put it, it's not simple from my point of view, the idea of going out to basically get laid which I'm guessing is your idea? doesn't appeal to me and I find that sort of life meaningless, while I also still don't want to sit on my arse and wait.

See the conundrum? guess not.


I do yes.

Try and manage it better, either try harder to meet people, and then leave it to fate so to speak, don't really try; or vice versa, don't try and meet people, but when you do, try and make it work.
Original post by Upperfoot
Not that I am desperate as you bluntly put it, it's not simple from my point of view, the idea of going out to basically get laid which I'm guessing is your idea? doesn't appeal to me and I find that sort of life meaningless, while I also still don't want to sit on my arse and wait.

See the conundrum? guess not.


Spoiler



Similar position tbh... I bet a load of people go through this, go out with a load of people just to find a relationship vs the right one for you which will take a while.

quality over quantity I keep telling myself, keep up the good fight!
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 7
Original post by boffin

Spoiler



Similar position tbh... I bet a load of people go through this, go out with a load of people just to find a relationship vs the right one for you which will take a while.

quality over quantity I keep telling myself, keep up the good fight!


Absolutely. That's my point of view too.
Reply 8
Thanks guys, thats what I'll do then :P

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