How you met her/him..

Been with my boyfriend nearly seven months. Met at a uni party, nice and facilitated.

Well, something had to be. See I'd been one of those teenagers through school and most of college who simply went from one boy to the next, ever needy, ever inherently empty and lonely on the inside. You know the type; Bebo/Facebook status changed every couple of months. I have a pretty interesting (and by that I mean awful) background story at home, and all I wanted was someone, anyone, to just be there....

Until one day I realised that I couldn't carry on that way because on that basis, I was choosing boys who I didn't actually respect, and needed more than loved. No one likes to be a settler... and no one likes to be the person who's settled with! Being single was a terrifying prospect for me but it had to be done for my longterm happiness. So I got out of my last relationship about two years ago, and set about addressing my lingering issues through books, counselling, going to the gym and general personal development.

And I was happy all by myself for the first time ever! I learnt so much about myself, and about people, in that time. I went on a few dates with various guys I met, but if I wasn't feeling it, I didn't hang about because I didn't need to be with someone anymore. I picked and chose. I kept it real with myself and with them. Nothing substantial materialised (which I was fine with), and then I went to uni.

I met my current boyfriend in the summer of my first year. I was still gyming, working on my course, keeping up with my blog etc etc. I had even won some awards for my charity work. Basically, I was feeling pretty damn good about myself the night we met.

It was a 90's party in the student bar, and I was dressed to impress. I drank quite a bit, and at some point in the night couldn't find my friend anywhere. I was queueing at the bar and trying to locate them when a total 90's choon came on, one I wanted to dance to so much. I thought, I can either stand in this line until my friends show up or go and dance by myself. Blast it all, I have to do Montell Jordan proud, I'ma dancing'!

So I went and I danced and my boyfriend appeared out of nowhere. I recognised him as a friend's flatmate who I knew had a girlfriend, but who I thought was handsome. He came over and started dancing with me. We didn't talk we just grooved. When he put his hands on my waist I thought, uh oh, so I leaned in and told him I knew he had a girlfriend so he better stop touching me.

Guess what! It wasn't who I thought it was! It was just someone who, in the dark gloom of the club and after a few shots too many, looked like who I thought it was! 'You're Chris, right?' 'No, I'm Darren! Who's Chris, is that your boyfriend?'

Hahahaha I was so thrilled! So after quickly ascertaining that he was single, I just went 'well in that case...carry on!'

We danced and danced all night. Who knows where our friends were. Then, after I gave him my number (but not my name; I only told him my name on the first date the next day, a walk down to the beach) and went home, he rang me, at 2am, to say that his friends had gone home without him and there were no buses. I thought, oh here we go. This brilliant guy I just met is about to lower the tone by trying for a ONS.

But instead he just wanted to borrow money for a taxi, which I gave him on the door. In exchange, and to demonstrate that he fully intended to pay me back the next day, he gave me his wallet! And his pin! I kissed him on the cheek and sent him on his way. Class act. ;D

Three weeks later he asked me out, then he went on holiday for a month and I went to California for two weeks. I met him at the airport when he got back, and since then we've been quite inseparable. He's sat next to me right now, watching an InDesign tutorial on his Mac because he wants to make interactive wildlife publications.

This is the best relationship I've ever been in, because it wasn't born from need. It was born of want and mutual respect. We're very in love. He's made me trust him, and when we party, I'm so proud because he's such an amazing dancer! Things are pretty rosy. We argue sometimes, but the good far outweighs the bad. I think I have a pretty well-rounded view of his overall character now.

Among other things, I'm grateful to him for bringing football into my life. He's turned me into a Yid and we watch every game together!