Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Do you believe in this???

Basically, do you believe in the fact that

You think you love two people but are confused with whom to go with...
so people say go with the second because if you really loved the first you would not have fallen in love for the second..???

BUT you have 'loved' the first guy since 2-3 years, how can it be possible, falling for someone else..???? :s-smilie:

Reply 1

Brenna

This idea is crazy! Just because you met someone more recently you should be with them? It's chance who you met first. It completely depends on the two guys involved and the history that you have with the first is possibly more in their favour.

That said if you think you are truly in love with the second guy then it may be that you just love the first one because he's familiar and you care about his feelings rather than that you're actually in love.

anon or delete please

Yes and no. There are literally thousands of people in the world that each person can have a strong connection to, if they give it a chance. Different couples connect in different ways, so although you may have a strong connection with 'Y', it might not be as healthy or fulfilling as your connection to 'X'.

Relationships feel amazing at the start, it's called the 'honeymoon' phase. But it ALWAYS comes to an end. If you're very lucky, what you are left with is your best friend who you trust, laugh with, feel comfortable with, and who will stand by you through thick and thin. If you're not so lucky, you're either taken for granted or abused and live a really rubbish existence. Emotions come in waves in relationships after the honeymoon phase - sometimes you'll feel completely in love, other times not so much, it's just life.

You have to understand that your bf trusts that you won't betray him. He trusts that you will be loyal, mature and responsible enough to not let anyone get close enough that they will start screwing with your head. I'm sure you expect the same from your partner, too. You can always see it coming from a mile away. By not putting a guard up against this new guy, you are betraying your current partner. Some people will say it isn't cheating, I disagree; it's cheating his trust in you. Maybe there isn't anything wrong with that? I think there is.

Sometimes, leaving one person for another is a sure-fire way to have regrets... other times, it works out perfectly and the new person is everything the last person wasn't.

Everyone is different. Some are shallow, some seek depth. Some just want to experience lots of different people, especially when they're young. Everyone is unique, but some really are incredibly special. Honeymoon phase or not, if you can't see your partner's amazingness, then it's probably time to go. But leaving one for another is rarely the best option as judgement regarding your current relationship is obviously impaired. If it's time to leave somone, then leave to be alone, not because you think you found something you connect with better. But again, sometimes leaving one for another works out perfectly, other times it blows up in your face and you realise you screwed up BIG.

It's a risk...

Reply 4

CharlieEmma

To me, i find the quote somewhat true , if you truly loved the first guy you would'nt fall for another. I've been in the same situation and believe me, the second guy has made me possibly the happiest person alive.
Maybe if your confused, write a pros and cons list on each of the guys and compare, maybe it will help you :smile:

and don't necessarily take into consideration the time you've spent with each guy, look at how they make you happy.
Hope I've helped, good luck in your decision :smile:

Reply 5