Is it possible to create active social life outside Uni?
For numerous reasons I have not really had many friends during my teenage years. This is because when I was 14 I moved to London (now 21). I changed various schools, I was ill for a couple of years and just settling into London life also was not easy to deal with. You would think in 7 years I could make some friends and to be fair I have some single good friends which is alright I guess. I have a group of mates from school who I go out with when I can but I'm not tight and close with them fully in that they're not a regular group of mates simply because we're not THAT close. I play for a sports team and also work in retail and to be fair I get on with the people there and have a good laugh. If a party or drink invitation comes up at work for example, I will always go. I have met girls from online dating which has helped me in that area a bit but not in terms of longevity. That's basically my life in a nutshell.
The thing is I've been to University before and it was just not my cup of tea whatsoever. It was just an all round bad experience and I just have absolutely no desire to get back there as I truely believe it is a total waste of money. Can't handle drinking to 3/4 am and getting up at 8 for a lecture etc. Many many reasons why I disliked University, just not my thing somehow.
Because I'm so used to not having friends, I've spent alot of my life analysing and even meticulously studying the social lives and ways of young people. I've come to the conclusion that the majority of people create their friendship circles through - neighbourhood growing up etc / brothers and sisters / education / friends of friends you know from education / less common way being sports/social clubs.
I'm out of education and I know that everyone at school moved on from everyone else pretty much. I don't have brothers or sisters. My neighbourhood has always changed in my life seeing as I've moved house over 10 times (and countries even!) People will say you should join a sports club etc. The simple truth in my experience is that most of these clubs and so on don't turn into making a social group outside of the club itself. You might go for a drink at Christmas or something like that but they don't become your regular friends. I've found that with any sports club or hobby I've been a part of. Also, this applies to London especially as it is so big and full of different types of people. It's easier to form social groups from things like clubs in a small city/town. In London your sports colleague might live at the opposite end of London to you. That is not necessarily a stumbling block but it also is in another sense. The dynamics are different.
It's probably good to add whilst I'm here that I currently have no idea about what I want to do long term, which doesn't help.
I'm at a point in my life where I'm more than capable of socialising. As I said I work, I play for a sports club, I even meet stranger girls and successfully date them so I'm not scared of putting myself out there and am as capable as your average bloke on the street. I can get along with most people and have a laugh, just fine. But I really don't know what to do anymore seeing as I'm in a place in my life where I'm young but there doesn't seem to be any solid way to make friends. It's really hard to foresee how things can change for the better. It's particularly disappointing because I'm sick and tired of seeing and hearing of people going to this gig, or this party, or people discussing where they're all going on holiday this year etc Sometimes I wonder what I have to do to meet these people. Essentially it is networking but to start from scratch is near enough impossible in my experience. You need to have gone to a good school with a good social atmosphere. I didn't really experience that because when I moved to London I joined a not so good school simply because there was a big waiting list for the better schools in London and my parents were desperate to get me into the school system. The school was so bad it doesn't even exist anymore. It's a different atmosphere. You want to get the grades and get out, not community like.
Is there anybody out there who has a similar story? I feel so ALONE. How can I create something for myself outside of University? It seems like University is like the last chance saloon for friends and girls. Is it even possible to create something for yourself outside of University :/?
The thing is I've been to University before and it was just not my cup of tea whatsoever. It was just an all round bad experience and I just have absolutely no desire to get back there as I truely believe it is a total waste of money. Can't handle drinking to 3/4 am and getting up at 8 for a lecture etc. Many many reasons why I disliked University, just not my thing somehow.
Because I'm so used to not having friends, I've spent alot of my life analysing and even meticulously studying the social lives and ways of young people. I've come to the conclusion that the majority of people create their friendship circles through - neighbourhood growing up etc / brothers and sisters / education / friends of friends you know from education / less common way being sports/social clubs.
I'm out of education and I know that everyone at school moved on from everyone else pretty much. I don't have brothers or sisters. My neighbourhood has always changed in my life seeing as I've moved house over 10 times (and countries even!) People will say you should join a sports club etc. The simple truth in my experience is that most of these clubs and so on don't turn into making a social group outside of the club itself. You might go for a drink at Christmas or something like that but they don't become your regular friends. I've found that with any sports club or hobby I've been a part of. Also, this applies to London especially as it is so big and full of different types of people. It's easier to form social groups from things like clubs in a small city/town. In London your sports colleague might live at the opposite end of London to you. That is not necessarily a stumbling block but it also is in another sense. The dynamics are different.
It's probably good to add whilst I'm here that I currently have no idea about what I want to do long term, which doesn't help.
I'm at a point in my life where I'm more than capable of socialising. As I said I work, I play for a sports club, I even meet stranger girls and successfully date them so I'm not scared of putting myself out there and am as capable as your average bloke on the street. I can get along with most people and have a laugh, just fine. But I really don't know what to do anymore seeing as I'm in a place in my life where I'm young but there doesn't seem to be any solid way to make friends. It's really hard to foresee how things can change for the better. It's particularly disappointing because I'm sick and tired of seeing and hearing of people going to this gig, or this party, or people discussing where they're all going on holiday this year etc Sometimes I wonder what I have to do to meet these people. Essentially it is networking but to start from scratch is near enough impossible in my experience. You need to have gone to a good school with a good social atmosphere. I didn't really experience that because when I moved to London I joined a not so good school simply because there was a big waiting list for the better schools in London and my parents were desperate to get me into the school system. The school was so bad it doesn't even exist anymore. It's a different atmosphere. You want to get the grades and get out, not community like.
Is there anybody out there who has a similar story? I feel so ALONE. How can I create something for myself outside of University? It seems like University is like the last chance saloon for friends and girls. Is it even possible to create something for yourself outside of University :/?
Went I went to uni, I made most of my friends outside of uni and my course. I got involved in the local music scene by joining a band, and ended up meeting people here and there through gigging and going out with those friends. They were mostly older than I was by 7-8 years but that's fine, most of my friends are and they don't seem to mind that I'm a baby! Many of the people of my course go to the same societies etc. and I went along a few times, but it really wasn't my kind of thing.
Just get involved in an activity somewhere that you'll get to meet new people, and you never know where it could lead. Also, you may get a few disappointments before you find a group you can slot into.
Just get involved in an activity somewhere that you'll get to meet new people, and you never know where it could lead. Also, you may get a few disappointments before you find a group you can slot into.
To be honest they aren't solid ways of making friends. Of course it could help but I've done activities and groups many times before and things have never turned into a social group outside of it. Meh I'm lost as to what can be done.
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