Broke up with GF - Am I doing the right thing?

I broke up with my GF about a week ago.

Ok the story is we were doing long distance after uni ended.. It had been about 3 months, and she started to get a little distance cause of work and stuff, which did bother me, but I understood.

My friend overheard two guys talking about her (one who I dont know) but she didnt know exactly what they said, and she told me that she overheard something fishy.

So I questioned her about this guy and whether they know each other.. She was like yeah i met him when he came to visit.. and I then asked what happened because x overheard him talking about you.

Now long story short, but this guy came to visit the other guy (who i know) and she hid that he tried to kiss her when they were both drunk/high in the room together (alone).

I flipped out, because I automatically thought that she obviously was giving off the signals for him to try. Because why else would I guy try to go in for the kiss?!
After a lot of argueing, she admitted that she let him flirt with her even after she told him she has a BF, and touch her, but then she pulled away from him when he tried to kiss her.
His story is that DID initiate the kiss, but he says that he DID kiss her, and she didnt even try to pull away.

I broke up with her (just over a year relationship) a few days later, because I felt I couldnt trust her anymore.

What do u guys think? Am I right to be so pissed off?

Also ill also add, that even thought I cant trust her, I still try really hard to keep in touch with her (because I miss her), but she doesnt even make an effort at all - even though she was the one in the wrong. She seem unaffected by the break up at all!
In fact, when I broke up with her, SHE cut me off even though I was messaging feeling so unhappy with how it ended and stuff.

Reply 1

.eXe

Sounds like she's glad to be done (maybe she wanted to be with this new guy) even though he's an obvious douche bag for trying to get with a taken girl. But she's also being a little whore by allowing guys to flirt with her and putting herself in situations where things can happen.

also, she has literally no reason to ignore you...any guy would've been pissed when he heard that. if she really is being indifferent then she was ready to be done with this relationship. You need to start moving on from her.

Reply 2

Sui-Kinxtar_kitty

I think u didnt do anythin wrong...

Reply 3

Zamolxes

I'm pretty sure the relationship was unofficially ended before this. If she had feelings for you she wouldn't start looking for potential suitors and she would be more affected by the break up. Trust me you did the right thing, move on and don't do long distance relationships again unless the girl is REALLY REALLY special.

Reply 4

SweetsAndSugar

1. She shouldn't have put herself in a situation whereby he could have easily kissed her. (i.e: she led him on)
2. She was being disrespectful in doing so.
3. She may have cheated.
1 + 2 you know for sure, and tbh, a LDR needs even more trust than a regular one to work. You're better off without her. Missing her is normal, but you need to try and move on. She can't be trusted by what you put.
good luck :smile:

Reply 5

Pink Bullets

Yes, you did her a favor.

she doesnt even make an effort at all - even though she was the one in the wrong. She seem unaffected by the break up at all!
In fact, when I broke up with her, SHE cut me off even though I was messaging feeling so unhappy with how it ended and stuff.

You don't get to break up with someone and then decide how much attention they should give you. You got what you signed up for, deal with it.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 6

alevelsguy

Forget her and move on. Sorry that happened to you.

Reply 7

The_Jammy_Witch

Original post by Pink Bullets

Yes, you did her a favor.

You don't get to break up with someone and then decide how much attention they should give you. You got what you signed up for, deal with it.

Everyone else's reply. NOT this one because it's unnecessarily arsy.

Forget 'doing her a favour'; she's the one messing around so actually it's her who has failed you. And don't you forget it!

For sure you did the right thing, and good on you. So many mugs out there would stick their heads in the sand out of neediness, but you did not. You stepped up and said yaknow what, tae hell wiv ya then. And that, mister, takes balls.

However, to reiterate the above's point, when it's over it's over. Done. Finiddo. You have now given up all rights to complain about her passivity towards you. I can understand why it hurts, because you're now wondering if you ever meant anything if she can 'move on' so quickly (from you maybe, but from her need to stray when in a relationship instead of doing the honest thing and being real about it if she's not feeling it anymore? THAT she may not get over, for a long time) but all you're doing is feeding her ego every time you give her even one second of your attention.

You manned up this far, now you need to man up further by cutting ties and getting on with your life. Learn the lessons without accumulating the baggage and carry on.