Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0

My old form tutor was a bit of a cow sometimes, despite me being a fairly good student. On the last day of school we had to hand in a permission slip signed by our parents to leave home at lunch, but I had forgotten mine, she wished everyone else well with life etc but when she got to me she said "You're a waster Sarah, always will be." ...bit harsh to leave me with those last words?! I still left early anyway.

Also this was pretty strange, me and my friend were given a note by a teacher to give to another teacher but he wasn't in his normal classroom, so we went back to say we couldn't find him.
She made us search the whole school practically for him, must of took us about 20 minutes. My friend was like "F**k it, I'm reading this note - what the hell could be so important." (against my wishes haha) and it said something like "Don't eat the prawn crackers xxxxxxxx"
Seemed very weird to make us leave our lesson over something so trivial.

You may come out of your mother via her eggs but to get there you must first start out in your father as the sperm... therefore you come from your fathers balls.

Ive had that from a few teachers, my electronics teacher took it one step further though, saying 'You're either playing with your phone or playing with your self. If its the latter, I feel bad for your girlfriend because you did that very quickly!'

Yes, but we're sworn to secrecy. It's like joining the Masons. My colleagues in the department and I have much entertainment deriving new sarcastic put downs. The kids love it. They enjoy the robust cut and thrust of debate. I think they'll love the inflatable hammer even more though.

What?!
You have no concept of reproductive biology at all.
You don't start out in your father.
The sperm and egg both have 23 chromosomes, they BOTH NEED TO FUSE TOGETHER to combine and form the total 46 chromosomes required to be life compatible.

You don't 'start off' in a single gamete- in effect, you start off split between your mother and father.

If what you are saying were true, you'd be identical to your father.
What nonsense.

Jesus it is a saying, have you ever heard of it? well clearly not

And lets face it in a way you do start in your fathers balls.

It's not a saying.
It's something you made up and are trying to implement.

Jesus it is a saying, have you ever heard of it? well clearly not

And lets face it in a way you do start in your fathers balls.

My old Maths teacher was talking about an expedition trip and after listing 30 odd mundane things we had to remember to take with us (anorak, socks, soup, toothbrush, toothpaste, more socks etc) he suddenly went: “And you’ll need thermals,” paused a bit, “which are very sexy…”

Don't suppose you saw my English teacher's awesome ones from earlier in the thread?

When I had a cold, my female English teacher told me I sounded sexy.

It's not a saying.
It's something you made up and are trying to implement.

It is... in sports... generally said to men although it applies to women too.

My English teacher put kisses in my exercise book o.O

This has to be one of the funniest things i've heard a teacher say. Their's a boy (who weights A LOT - no disrespect to him), and the teacher said to him (as a joke): you're a human been bag, i can sit on you and play X-box. At the time it was so funny.

Legend