Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0

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[when I was a small year 8]...

I had to go into the next classroom to get a chair as our class was a few short.

I went in, asked and the teacher (a scary 6ft African man) was like okay, fine...

and just as I was about to open the door to leave he came out with "But remember, I know where you live" [and death stared me]!

This guy also came out with phrases like "be quiet, or I will eat your eyeballs" - but he couldn't teach and was sacked within a year.

Hhahahahaha

Imagine if he actually knew where you lived.

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I once called one of my teachers in school mum (as we all have done) and she replied

"Yes dear?"

Reply 363

hbk4894

Original post by Beady

I once called one of my teachers in school mum (as we all have done) and she replied

"Yes dear?"

just lol

Reply 364

hbk4894

my year 6 teacher once spent about 20 minutes shouting at everyone for some reason.

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"My God, you need to be put in mental instutute. Yes, you do. You are crazy. Your aura is purple. Purple is colour of instability. You need to see someone."

and

"God is the answer. God is everything. You are all sinners."

He then proceeded to whip out his Bible and read to us.

In Geography.

:colonhash:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 367

Felineyx

"That's the kind of thing that turns me on..."

Not to me, but one of my friends.

"You're so bad, I had to invent a new grade for your report."

The worst bit is, it's true. That kid remains the only one to ever get an E for behaviour.

My history teacher in years 8, 9 and 10 was the best though. He'd just tell you a story about how he once met his ex-wife in Asda and didn't recognise her, or about the various suicides he's found. And we'd be like...right. Where's the relevance in that.

Reply 368

Snowfreeze

RE teacher to the class "Stand up if you're gay, I don't think anybody will be", *I'm the only person stand up*, "um well um..."

Reply 369

Where'sPerry?

In year 9, had an English teacher who would tell completely far-fetched (but hilarious) stories, such as the time he was on a plane with Tom Cruise which subsequently crashed. He also told us he owned a 'special machine' that could check if our work was copied from the internet. He also used to shout 'THE PIANIST' regularly; we were watching the film in bits and analysing it as part of our media topic. He actually couldn't the name without shouting it, and I'm sure he pronounced it dodgily on purpose (you can guess how I mean, I'm sure). Oh, and he wrote a song about me. He came up to me when I was sitting on the school field with all my friends, and just stood there singing it.

I also have a crazy maths teacher who loves to yell 'decimals will hurt your eyes' at every relevant opportunity. Oh, and on my recent mock exam, I noticed my score was really low. I looked over the paper and saw a whole page wasn't marked. I took it over to him, and let him check it out. After a few seconds, he practically screamed with maniacal laughter and continued to do so until he had finished marking the page :s-smilie:

Reply 370

Contrad!ction.

Ah, another revelation. We were discussing ways to make text more interesting in a GCSE English lesson, and the teacher started on adjectives. She picked up my pencil case and said 'for example, I am now lovingly fingering the pencil case'. Only myself and my friend, who was sat next to me at the time, laughed. :redface:

Reply 371

darkblue

My teacher was literally talking to me about having a poo the other day, that was pretty odd.

Reply 372

ArcadiaHouse

Original post by Contrad!ction.

Reminds me of when our music teacher told us we "needed to work on our fingering."

Also she said the word "aural" and a girl said "Does oral not mean with your mouth? :confused:

" /cue sniggering

Reply 373

ArcadiaHouse

Original post by flowermaster91

probably in year 9 when our science teacher was telling us not to wash inside the vagina coz it cleans itself

i cringed so much :pierre:

Hahaha I remember when we were being taught stuff about the vagina in Biology. There was only one guy in the whole class, and the teacher kept going on about "vaginal mucus", which must have put everyone off oral sex for life. The one guy looked like he was dying.

Reply 374

EmmaJane_

Everyone was asking my DT teacher in year 9 for help, and he got really annoyed with the constant questions and said "I'm being pestered.. especially by boys!"

I cried with laughter.

Reply 375

TheatreLovely

One of my French teachers told a boy that he looked like a retard on the day of parents evening. Oops.

Lots of conversations with various teachers about first romances/university times which usually take place on the way home from school trips. But apart from that, not much really.

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MY year 9 science teacher's way of remembering the charge on a cation; Cations are pussytive.

I know it's not that weird but everyone wouldn't stop laughing, and it's a good way of remembering it!

Reply 378

Coreys651

My science teacher one had a banter with another person in my class and i don't know how it came about to it but my friends were sitting talking about something and the teacher suddenly heard and said "Come back when your balls have dropped" lol. it was even funnier as my friend replied "I dropped them in your wifes mouth last night"lol. He didn't even get in any trouble at all.

Reply 379

Doofy

My History teacher once had us standing on the tables in order to show the 2 sides of a war, and he also had a water pistol.
I said "There's no way there is water in that.'
I regretted those words, as I was soaked by the end of the lesson. :biggrin: