Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0
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My brother's Maths teacher has said a few good ones:
Brother: 'Sir, I don't understand this...'
Teacher: 'Correct.'
Brother: 'Do you like my new bag?'
Teacher: 'I don't care. It's the story of my life, Daniel. I just don't care.'
He also frequently calls everyone in the class 'you dogs' and walks around shaking a bunch of keys in people's faces whilst checking homework...
EDIT: My brother's told me a new one... same guy...
Teacher: 'So, what's the answer?'
Brother: 'I don't know, sir.'
Teacher: 'Do you want to try 36?'
Brother: 'Ok... 36?'
Teacher: 'No. Just thought you might want to try it'
Brother: 'Sir, I don't understand this...'
Teacher: 'Correct.'
Brother: 'Do you like my new bag?'
Teacher: 'I don't care. It's the story of my life, Daniel. I just don't care.'
He also frequently calls everyone in the class 'you dogs' and walks around shaking a bunch of keys in people's faces whilst checking homework...
EDIT: My brother's told me a new one... same guy...
Teacher: 'So, what's the answer?'
Brother: 'I don't know, sir.'
Teacher: 'Do you want to try 36?'
Brother: 'Ok... 36?'
Teacher: 'No. Just thought you might want to try it'
(edited 11 years ago)
"I should not have searched playboy. God knows what the school technician will think if they check my server history!" This was my female English teacher. We were studying 'Goblin Market' by Christina Rossetti, which is frequent;y referred to as 'Victorian porn'...it isn't really but just read it and you'll see why :P Anyways, she wanted to find the edition of playboy that the poem was published in to prove to us that the poem was published in playboy :P
I asked to borrow a Physics teachers pointing stick (he's quite short and he uses it to turn on the projector in his classroom) because I needed something that was sword-like for a history project and then I lost the stick and I avoided him, but every time he saw me he'd glare at me and say "I want my stick back!" It was really embarrassing when he came into my lessons and said this, or shouted it across the hall. All I could do was laugh uncomfortably, but man did I want to punch him!
And then there's my RE teacher who had a mental break down. We were watching Love Actually ( I don't even know why) and she just stood up and said to this boy (who she'd always had problems with, but we'd thought it was a jokey type of relationship) "You know I really don't like you Rhodri!" and then she left and we all looked at each other then carried on watching Love Actually. And then the head of RE came in and told us we'd be having a supply for the rest of the lesson..... and that RE teacher actually has never returned, so......
And this really serious Economics teacher got drunk at last years 6th form leavers' dinner and went clubbing with some sixth formers, got into a fight and had a blcak eye for the next few weeks at school. So funny :P
I asked to borrow a Physics teachers pointing stick (he's quite short and he uses it to turn on the projector in his classroom) because I needed something that was sword-like for a history project and then I lost the stick and I avoided him, but every time he saw me he'd glare at me and say "I want my stick back!" It was really embarrassing when he came into my lessons and said this, or shouted it across the hall. All I could do was laugh uncomfortably, but man did I want to punch him!
And then there's my RE teacher who had a mental break down. We were watching Love Actually ( I don't even know why) and she just stood up and said to this boy (who she'd always had problems with, but we'd thought it was a jokey type of relationship) "You know I really don't like you Rhodri!" and then she left and we all looked at each other then carried on watching Love Actually. And then the head of RE came in and told us we'd be having a supply for the rest of the lesson..... and that RE teacher actually has never returned, so......
And this really serious Economics teacher got drunk at last years 6th form leavers' dinner and went clubbing with some sixth formers, got into a fight and had a blcak eye for the next few weeks at school. So funny :P
(edited 12 years ago)
My history teacher told me to read out loud in class because I "have a very nice voice"
Hmmm...
Hmmm...
Oh, I remember one from year 11 art. Good times(!)
(I'm deaf)
Teacher: (Calls my name)
(I don't hear)
Teacher: (Calls again)
Me: *I turn around* yes?
[ I can't remember the specific words used, but this is similar ]
Teacher: Did you ignore me? (or similar)
Me: Sometimes.
(I didn't hear properly what the teacher said :P)
*Awkward silence while I turn back to my art*
*Class chuckles*
Me: Why's everyone laughing?!
Teacher: You're so cheeky, (name)!
I was like 0_o for the rest of the lesson and used it to make jokes, pretending I was joking the entire time :P (Not very fun and had to speak to teacher at end to clear it up!)
(I'm deaf)
Teacher: (Calls my name)
(I don't hear)
Teacher: (Calls again)
Me: *I turn around* yes?
[ I can't remember the specific words used, but this is similar ]
Teacher: Did you ignore me? (or similar)
Me: Sometimes.
(I didn't hear properly what the teacher said :P)*Awkward silence while I turn back to my art*
*Class chuckles*
Me: Why's everyone laughing?!
Teacher: You're so cheeky, (name)!
I was like 0_o for the rest of the lesson and used it to make jokes, pretending I was joking the entire time :P (Not very fun and had to speak to teacher at end to clear it up!)
We had an epic Geography teacher last year, this amazingly nice guy who regularly came out with belters. We even kept a diary of all the things he said. Here's just a selection (some don't have contexts because I didn't write them down):
"Straddling the Pennines!"
"I will flare my nostrils at the mere mention of it!"
"Did something just go pop in my corner?"
"Cavers: a nice bunch of people."
"Emma, is my voice lovely and dulcet?"
"She deserves a present - a small rock or something."
"Are you running through meadows barefoot? Lalalala!"
"Their pens are steaming, look at how fast they're writing! Their pages could be on fire, as opposed to yours, which is Antarctic."
"No wenching or nothing else!"
"Tatu are a made up band with a made up sexuality."
"I'm not yet immortal but I'm reaching God-like standards."
"The pens, the board keeps killing them!"
"I'm not a soft rock geologist...I'm a HARD ROCK geologist!"
"That's a nice highlighter, that"
And my personal favourite...
"I'll tell you what's not racist? The Hoyt model!"
"Straddling the Pennines!"
"I will flare my nostrils at the mere mention of it!"
"Did something just go pop in my corner?"
"Cavers: a nice bunch of people."
"Emma, is my voice lovely and dulcet?"
"She deserves a present - a small rock or something."
"Are you running through meadows barefoot? Lalalala!"
"Their pens are steaming, look at how fast they're writing! Their pages could be on fire, as opposed to yours, which is Antarctic."
"No wenching or nothing else!"
"Tatu are a made up band with a made up sexuality."
"I'm not yet immortal but I'm reaching God-like standards."
"The pens, the board keeps killing them!"
"I'm not a soft rock geologist...I'm a HARD ROCK geologist!"
"That's a nice highlighter, that"
And my personal favourite...
"I'll tell you what's not racist? The Hoyt model!"
(edited 12 years ago)
Have laughed so much at some of these.
My A-level history teacher was great. First thing he said to me, when taking the register on my first day at sixth form college, was "Oh, you have the same name as my ex-wife. There's still a lot of bad feeling there..."
A few months later he called me by his daughter's name.
Best one though was when we were watching a video featuring a rather stern middle-aged historian. Our teacher paused the video, turned to the class and said, "Do you think she's EVER had sex?"
I miss history class.
My A-level history teacher was great. First thing he said to me, when taking the register on my first day at sixth form college, was "Oh, you have the same name as my ex-wife. There's still a lot of bad feeling there..."
A few months later he called me by his daughter's name.
Best one though was when we were watching a video featuring a rather stern middle-aged historian. Our teacher paused the video, turned to the class and said, "Do you think she's EVER had sex?"
I miss history class.
Apparently my physics teacher once asked the class "Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I'm inside?"
I highly doubt he actually said it though
I highly doubt he actually said it though
Had a substitute teacher for a maths lesson once, an Italian guy. He walked round squeezing a holepuncher "every time he got stressed."
My French teacher told someone he'd throw them out the window. (Jokingly I think.)
One of my teachers told me to go away, even though I was actually in her class
My French teacher told someone he'd throw them out the window. (Jokingly I think.)
One of my teachers told me to go away, even though I was actually in her class
The teachers at my school had to write a detention list every night with the reasons for giving them out. I once saw the sheet that my unintentionally hilarious ICT teacher had written and it had such gems as "Gemma-called me a paed" and "Jason-poked me in the eye and swore" poor guy!
'I don't know if I'd ever get married. I'd probably only marry a woman if she could make me good food. I don't really eat too well.'
'I hate it when people blame being late on public transport. If you know the bus is going to be late, leave home earlier.'
'This school isn't multicultural, it's Asian with a couple of white people.'
'One time, a girl who, let's say was reasonably endowed, was wearing a very low cut top in one of Mr T...'s lessons. And let's just say she leant over a little too far and... spilled onto the table.'
'I hate when the sixth formers come into school looking like tramps - with their roots showing, in tracksuit bottoms, pulling their t-shirts out of their armpits.'
All from the same guy.
'I hate it when people blame being late on public transport. If you know the bus is going to be late, leave home earlier.'
'This school isn't multicultural, it's Asian with a couple of white people.'
'One time, a girl who, let's say was reasonably endowed, was wearing a very low cut top in one of Mr T...'s lessons. And let's just say she leant over a little too far and... spilled onto the table.'
'I hate when the sixth formers come into school looking like tramps - with their roots showing, in tracksuit bottoms, pulling their t-shirts out of their armpits.'
All from the same guy.
My Biology teacher, the man's been there for decades and is a true Legend. You could publish a book on some of the stuff that comes out of his mouth. There not so much strange just hilarious, here's a small sample:
"You get old, you get weak, you die"
"and that's why glycolysis a lone won't give you enough energy to fight a gypsy"
"You wanna do A-level biology? You're s*it!"
"3 days next week and we'll have the course finished"
Student: 'but sir, we only see you two days next week'
Teacher: "well if jesus rose from the dead in 3 days, then I can finish this course in two"
"you know what your problem is? sex in the brain *points to head*, not in the city *points to crotch*
"Would you look at that, another penis drawn on the table, looks like a german one"
After a student messed up an experiment: "Look, Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you".
"I smell fresh meat, bring on the new biologists"
"sir, are we not gonna have u next week for class?"
"No, the end is near, Tiocfaidh ár lá!!"
"I love this time of year, all my A-level classes are off so i can go for a few holes"
"Would you boys go do some work instead of standing there like chavs"
"How am i gunna read your writing? I'm gunna need a microscope, 2 magnifing glasses and a telescope"
"Take your pencil and throw it in the bin... or better yet give it to the art department"
"I had the 1st video camera in the school, then somebody stole it. They blamed me but I know it was the priest. Turns out he was a paedophile"
"He's lying low somewhere, we'll have to send out a posse"
"Be careful you don’t fall back and hit your head. Although it might be better for you"
"Keep out of police stations; they are out to get you" - bearing in mind, this school is in NI
"Don't be at that; you don't hit your calculator to fix it. You do that to the t.v when its playing up... or your children, but not a calculator."
"You get old, you get weak, you die"
"and that's why glycolysis a lone won't give you enough energy to fight a gypsy"
"You wanna do A-level biology? You're s*it!"
"3 days next week and we'll have the course finished"
Student: 'but sir, we only see you two days next week'
Teacher: "well if jesus rose from the dead in 3 days, then I can finish this course in two"
"you know what your problem is? sex in the brain *points to head*, not in the city *points to crotch*
"Would you look at that, another penis drawn on the table, looks like a german one"
After a student messed up an experiment: "Look, Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you".
"I smell fresh meat, bring on the new biologists"
"sir, are we not gonna have u next week for class?"
"No, the end is near, Tiocfaidh ár lá!!"
"I love this time of year, all my A-level classes are off so i can go for a few holes"
"Would you boys go do some work instead of standing there like chavs"
"How am i gunna read your writing? I'm gunna need a microscope, 2 magnifing glasses and a telescope"
"Take your pencil and throw it in the bin... or better yet give it to the art department"
"I had the 1st video camera in the school, then somebody stole it. They blamed me but I know it was the priest. Turns out he was a paedophile"
"He's lying low somewhere, we'll have to send out a posse"
"Be careful you don’t fall back and hit your head. Although it might be better for you"
"Keep out of police stations; they are out to get you" - bearing in mind, this school is in NI
"Don't be at that; you don't hit your calculator to fix it. You do that to the t.v when its playing up... or your children, but not a calculator."
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by TheCookieduck
I asked to borrow a Physics teachers pointing stick (he's quite short and he uses it to turn on the projector in his classroom) because I needed something that was sword-like for a history project and then I lost the stick and I avoided him, but every time he saw me he'd glare at me and say "I want my stick back!" It was really embarrassing when he came into my lessons and said this, or shouted it across the hall. All I could do was laugh uncomfortably, but man did I want to punch him!
I asked to borrow a Physics teachers pointing stick (he's quite short and he uses it to turn on the projector in his classroom) because I needed something that was sword-like for a history project and then I lost the stick and I avoided him, but every time he saw me he'd glare at me and say "I want my stick back!" It was really embarrassing when he came into my lessons and said this, or shouted it across the hall. All I could do was laugh uncomfortably, but man did I want to punch him!
Did he get it back??
Original post by christielovesyou
"Their pens are steaming, look at how fast they're writing! Their pages could be on fire, as opposed to yours, which is Antarctic."
"Their pens are steaming, look at how fast they're writing! Their pages could be on fire, as opposed to yours, which is Antarctic."
Hahaha I loved that quote!
My GCSE PSHE teachers told us, that if we were her children she would have drowned us at birth!
My rs teacher had a sign on his door saying "welcome to the world of religious studies". On the inside, it said "you never leave the world of religious studies"
He also used to talk about his pet cheetah, his work with the triad, and the metal plate in his head. You'd think they wouldn't let ex-mobsters with brain injuries and dangerous pets work with kids, would you?
He also used to talk about his pet cheetah, his work with the triad, and the metal plate in his head. You'd think they wouldn't let ex-mobsters with brain injuries and dangerous pets work with kids, would you?
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