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Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0

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We had this teacher, not really a teacher but a mentor covering for Citizenship. He grabbed his balls, ran around the class, then stood right in front of us, grabbed his balls again and said 'When this goes hard...' (Still grabbing his balls) '...this goes soft' (Pointing to his head).

Reply 41

alizasauras

Ohh you remind me of my wife!!

Reply 42

nexttime

We got told to '**** off home' one day when we particularly annoyed the teacher :colondollar:

Reply 43

Confused20111

(Female) GCSE maths teacher: "I don't know why people assume that maths students are nerdy virgins, I had looooooads of sex...probably too much actually...got myself a bit of a reputation"

Awkward silence was awkward. Awkward...

Reply 44

DontWantYourBloodMoney

Maybe no the strangest thing, but my computing teacher once sang a computing version of 'best of you' to me personally for no apparent reason.

Reply 45

TattyBoJangles

My old biology teacher used to be up for a laugh.
He didn't say many odd things, but he was rather witty. I particularly liked the time when my friend was showing me a video of when her friend filled up her car with bubbles by holding the bubble.. stick in front of the air conditioning vents.
I went, "Oh, I love blowing bubbles!

My teacher, who was on the other side of the room typing something up, just piped up, "Isn't that a joke about Michael Jackson?"

:lol:

Reply 46

MacDaddi

Original post by Confused20111

LOL

Reply 47

dh2

High tables in labs, all sat on stools, me leaning on two legs with both hands straight down under the desk, looking down and probably smiling/laughing to myself about the texts me and this girl I liked were swapping - paying no attention to teacher...

he walks over and looks at me and goes "dh2, I REALLY hope you're texting down there"

nobody ever did it again...

(edited 11 years ago)

Reply 48

Blind Ferret

I got put on report in school and one of my targets said maturity - he responded with "and how should I measure that? Take a sperm sample"

Reply 49

VickyDoodle

"Well, as you all know, it's junior slut day tomorow..."
[in reference to lower school Mufti day]

"The school talent show's coming up, so if anyone can do anything interesting, like juggling, or pole dancing.."

"And now, we're going to go back to Bolton, to continue watching how badly they're going to fail."

"BOOOOOM POW PSSSSSSSSSSH BANG!" [making a video about bombings more interesting with his own side effects]

He also made a whole assembly on how amazing Putin is.

He is the best head of 6th ever.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 50

Manitude

Okay, a bit of context first.
Went on a 'study trip' to China with my school and my 60+ year old history teacher (also a grandfather!) was the group leader.
We were eating dinner in some posh restaurant (paid for by the chinese govt :wink:

) and they had some light entertainment.
At one point they had three pretty girls doing some sort of traditional dancing thing.
He leans over to me and points to them and says;
"Which one do you prefer? 1, 2 or 3"
And thus followed a fairly in depth discussion about which one we preferred.
He's still 'got it' it would seem :biggrin:

Reply 51

Scott129

One of my teachers had a small mental breakdown in year 9 i believe. Just randomly stood up with no warning and told everyone (quite angrily) to cross out her surname on the front of our workbooks and replace it with her maiden name. Think it's safe to say she was having marital problems.

Reply 52

MacDaddi

Original post by VickyDoodle

"Well, as you all know, it's junior slut day tomorow..."
[in reference to lower school Mufti day]

"The school talent show's coming up, so if anyone can do anything interesting, like juggling, or pole dancing.."

"And now, we're going to go back to Bolton, to continue watching how badly they're going to fail."

"BOOOOOM POW PSSSSSSSSSSH BANG!"

He also made a whole assembly on how amazing Putin is.

He is the best head of 6th ever.

My head of sixth is called "Chalky Balls". Everybody hates him so the leavers thought it would be funny to play a prank on him.

They realised that he liked to wipe his crotch on the side of the desk, so they covered it in chalk and before you know it he's got Chalky balls. The name stuck

:sexface:

Reply 53

tamii05

Only one's I can think of right now:

'Where do you live?', 'What did you have for dinner last night?', 'How many children do you want to have?'

Not really strange but he is and the way he phrased these questions were.

Reply 54

medbh4805

(Mr X and Mrs X are both history teachers in my school and married to each other - they have rooms opposite each other). Mr X was my AS history teacher.

*Mrs X comes into Mr X's room*
Her: Can I borrow some glue?
Him: Yes *gets prittsticks and tries one* I don't think they work...
Her: I have a lot of things which don't work :colonhash:

Him:

*Mrs X leaves*

Mr X turns to class and says "I was going to ask, 'Well, what's that then?', but she might have given an embarassing answer".
Class:

MOST AWKWARD CLASS EVER

Reply 55

The Optimistic Ram

"Go to the bar please and get me a drink...."

On my prom night, as pupils we got 'free unlimited' drinks (the ticket was £35 mind!!!). The teachers however paid £20 each but had to pay for their own drinks so all night we had our teachers asking us to get them a drink!

Our prom was a huge rip off, we had it in Breadsall Priory, paid £35 for a ticket each and had a cold finger buffet as the food. To top it off we had about 100 people in the tiniest room possible.

Reply 56

Leighthesim

My history teacher in year 9 was pretty funny,
He once shouted sex in the middle of our lesson to get our attention
He also commando rolled across our classroom and hit his head on a filing cabinet.
He also once played ride of the fallacies very loudly as a year 7 walked passed our door.

I had a maths teacher who was very funny too, but I can't quote him really i just remember him being funny (I had him for 4 years)
However we once turned all our chairs around to face the back of the room when he went to get something from the office so he did the same with his chair :tongue:

(we were in sixth form then so he appreciated the hum or of it)

Reply 57

Hdizzle

It was my first day
The teacher (female) comes up to me with her hand
Rubbing my belly and other hand on my back in unison
Saying 'do you like jaffacakes, do u like jaffacakes'.

It baffles me ><
Oh an if it matters i was in year 1

Reply 58

VickyDoodle

Original post by MacCuishy

Poor guy. xD

We all used to think the head of 6th was a little weird...
Then when we got in to year 12, we realised he was in fact a LEGEND, but couldn't use any of his jokes on the lower years. We walk out of 6th form assembly in stitches, and geniunley can't wait till the Leaver's Ball for his speech :colondollar:

Reply 59

Ledgerwood

My maths teacher fell over whilst handing out prizes at our presentation evening. When she got off the stage, she turned to me and asked "Did I just make a complete vagina of my myself?" Got to say, I've never heard that expression before....awkward.