[oryx12]

I have an, err, "interesting" maths teacher, he says a lot of weird stuff. One time he told me I remind him of his sister, which is especially odd because everyone else in the class thinks he is always trying to flirt with me. But anyway, the funniest thing I can remember him saying was last year:
teacher-"why did you miss my lesson yesterday?"
my friend-"I went on a protest"
teacher-"fine then, go be a hobo"

[Lily Academia]

My old Maths teacher was talking about an expedition trip and after listing 30 odd mundane things we had to remember to take with us (anorak, socks, soup, toothbrush, toothpaste, more socks etc) he suddenly went: “And you’ll need thermals,” paused a bit, “which are very sexy…”

[InvisibleGInger]

Talking about his biceps after he'd been to the gym: "want a feel?"
I felt.

[ccfcadam36]

i had a support teacher one time and he kept on going on about his ex girlfriend like he was obsessed with her to the point when he said 'i love my ex girlfriends name'. he was clearly heartbroken by the split, felt sorry for the guy

[tehFrance]

(Original post by Thasneemy)
You don't come from your fathers balls, you come from inside of your mothers uterus in which you lived for 9 months.

Tell me then how I got to the uterus? the sperm that fertilised the egg had to of come from my father, without him I would not be here so you do come from your fathers balls.

[Funky_Munky]

my english teacher came in with her hair done in corn rolls

evry1 was complimenting her until a boy said:

'ooh miss, trying to spice up your love-life'

she just glared and said,

'oi, cheeky...monkey'

[psychojonas]

In a Maths lesson I asked my teacher whether I should use the amount of decimal places or the amount of sig fig for S1 and she replied with;

'It's totally up to you but I'm more of a DP girl myself.'

Obviously in a class of boys it was hilarious but she didn't get the hidden meaning.

[Oh my Ms. Coffey]

'Thats so anal'

[ironandwine]

"I'd like to see you in bed for once."

Edit: Before everyone thinks I'm this massive slut who sleeps with teachers, it was my lovely old politics teacher who said it because I always used to arrive to his friday morning lesson hungover with little or completely no sleep...

[Ventura7]

(Original post by kka25)


Did they file a complain?? **** going on with that teacher lol. How old were you guys at the time?

I think the guy is from france, i have a friend from France and he told me that the tutors are very racist anyways, som im guessing most of the faculty will be

[-Illmatic-]

Probably not really weird to most but: my maths teacher walked in to lesson (while we were all seated chatting etc) and just said 'soz'...like casually

Why is it that maths teachers are always the quirkiest/weirdest

[madrid90]

This has to be one of the funniest things i've heard a teacher say. Their's a boy (who weights A LOT - no disrespect to him), and the teacher said to him (as a joke): you're a human been bag, i can sit on you and play X-box. At the time it was so funny.

[JessicaLouisaBond]

i think it was year 10 and my horrible spanish teacher moved me to the front of the class for some reason and he said to do my work and i said but my pen is over there and he said how about i punch you in the face and you write with your blood. i was very shocked :O

[im so academic]

(Original post by MacCuishy)
My head of sixth is called "Chalky Balls". Everybody hates him so the leavers thought it would be funny to play a prank on him.

They realised that he liked to wipe his crotch on the side of the desk, so they covered it in chalk and before you know it he's got Chalky balls. The name stuck

This is win.

[Snammus]

Our maths teacher (who looks pretty weird, and didn't crack a single joke in the entirety of 1st year A-level maths) introduced us to forces in mechanics by playing the youtube video to 'Can You Feel The Force' by The Real Thing and adding his own... awful falsetto vocals over the top

[TheCaledonian]

I once had a teacher that answered her phone and just as the room went quiet she said "Can't you wait till I get home?" then there was a pause and she said "Honestly I'll do it" so technically she didn't say it to me but it was weird also I'm pretty sure that it's not what we were all thinking

[Az_016]

RS teacher in year 7:

The word 'phile' orginates from the Greek word 'philos' which means loving.

The word 'paedo' orginates from the Greek word 'pais' which means child.

I love children...... I'm a paedophile

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bazlehman]

"You have amaaazzzing legs" Mr Crab in primary 7 swimming.
"I will make mincemeat out of you! I will smash you to dust!!" also Mr Crab.

Another time (P3):
Me to friend whispering "Mrs Edgecombe is a bugger"
Friend runs over and tells her.
Her turning to me and screaming at the top of her lungs: "YOU BOY ARE A VERY MESSY INDIVIDUAL!!!! VERY MESSY INDEEEED!!"

[Az_016]

Another one...

Maths teacher couple of years ago to a girl in my class:

please invite me to your wedding because I want to meet the guy who's mad enough to marry you!

[kka25]

(Original post by Ventura7)
I think the guy is from france, i have a friend from France and he told me that the tutors are very racist anyways, som im guessing most of the faculty will be

Well that's not so great to hear. I wonder if graduate students would be treated the same