I have an, err, "interesting" maths teacher, he says a lot of weird stuff. One time he told me I remind him of his sister, which is especially odd because everyone else in the class thinks he is always trying to flirt with me. But anyway, the funniest thing I can remember him saying was last year:
teacher-"why did you miss my lesson yesterday?"
my friend-"I went on a protest"
teacher-"fine then, go be a hobo"
My old Maths teacher was talking about an expedition trip and after listing 30 odd mundane things we had to remember to take with us (anorak, socks, soup, toothbrush, toothpaste, more socks etc) he suddenly went: “And you’ll need thermals,” paused a bit, “which are very sexy…”
i had a support teacher one time and he kept on going on about his ex girlfriend like he was obsessed with her to the point when he said 'i love my ex girlfriends name'. he was clearly heartbroken by the split, felt sorry for the guy
Edit: Before everyone thinks I'm this massive slut who sleeps with teachers, it was my lovely old politics teacher who said it because I always used to arrive to his friday morning lesson hungover with little or completely no sleep...
This has to be one of the funniest things i've heard a teacher say. Their's a boy (who weights A LOT - no disrespect to him), and the teacher said to him (as a joke): you're a human been bag, i can sit on you and play X-box. At the time it was so funny.
i think it was year 10 and my horrible spanish teacher moved me to the front of the class for some reason and he said to do my work and i said but my pen is over there and he said how about i punch you in the face and you write with your blood. i was very shocked :O
Our maths teacher (who looks pretty weird, and didn't crack a single joke in the entirety of 1st year A-level maths) introduced us to forces in mechanics by playing the youtube video to 'Can You Feel The Force' by The Real Thing and adding his own... awful falsetto vocals over the top
I once had a teacher that answered her phone and just as the room went quiet she said "Can't you wait till I get home?" then there was a pause and she said "Honestly I'll do it" so technically she didn't say it to me but it was weird also I'm pretty sure that it's not what we were all thinking
"You have amaaazzzing legs" Mr Crab in primary 7 swimming.
"I will make mincemeat out of you! I will smash you to dust!!" also Mr Crab.
Another time (P3):
Me to friend whispering "Mrs Edgecombe is a bugger"
Friend runs over and tells her.
Her turning to me and screaming at the top of her lungs: "YOU BOY ARE A VERY MESSY INDIVIDUAL!!!! VERY MESSY INDEEEED!!"