Strangest things a teacher's said to YOU? Version 2.0

Noticed a thread on the subject had been closed, meaning i couldn't add to it :frown:

So why not revive a new one..

So whats the Weirdest,strangest thing a teacher has said to you...

mine is...
Oh no not again! People keep putting that gay porn on my laptop...

2 Weeks later some guys went on it when he was out of the room at lunch and they discovered more..

I'm being 100% serious btw.

EDIT: moved from Current Affairs even though the original was there in the first place :wink:

given warning points too!

(edited 12 years ago)

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

InadequateJusticex

It didn't happen to me, but my teacher once said to a student 'You've been in my class for 2 years. If you opened your mouth a little more, I'd be a lot happier'. My friend and I were the only one to see the dirty side to it :biggrin:

Reply 2

Octohedral

No strange random things, but my teacher loved that rhyme for remembering sulphuric acid in Chemistry;

"Johnny was a Chemist,
Now Johnny is no more,
What Johnny thought was H2O
Was H2SO4."

He also taught us the blast furnace order with the phrase "the slag always comes out on top", which was deeply shocking to a rather sheltered year 8.

Good boy.

-_-

Got told by a science teacher that our last lesson had been a "shower of ****". Hard not to laugh but he was so pissed at us.

Got told as well not to call girls bitches but to call them fish......

Reply 5

Computerised

My year 8 maths teacher used to flip a coin and say "what's your probability of getting heads?"

Reply 6

lizzxo

Back in year 11 we used to have like a study thing in the library, and there was one day where we were being quite loud, and the head librarian suddenly just stood up and shouted "be quiet! i've already been upset today. not by you, but by my husband!"

everyone was like ................. -_- -()- [awkward turtle]

Reply 7

Nomolos

The first time I ever heard word anal used in any different context from.. you know..

My maths teacher told me I was really anal.

Reply 8

ddrrzzeerr

I can't remember exactly what she was explaining but my chemistry teacher said to me "its like gay sex, one gives it and one takes it". My chemistry teacher before that was demonstrating static electricity and was rubbing rubbing a silicon stick with a cloth like he was ****ing it off and said "You just give the cock a good rub". The whole class started laughing and someone shouted "you just said cock", he claimed he said "rod" but everybody in the class heard him. That wasnt weird though because he said it accidently.

Reply 9

alexmagpie

When I had a cold, my female English teacher told me I sounded sexy.

Reply 10

tehforum

Original post by joshgoldman

The first time I ever heard word anal used in any different context from.. you know..

My maths teacher told me I was really anal.

Did he say in your after school "homework" sessions?

Reply 11

paperclip

Original post by Octohedral

Did you learn a lot from him? :hubba:

Reply 12

Ath2689

Not strange but that one thing that will stick in my head. "You are a complete waste of resources and the taxpayer's money". After I made a comment about how English wasn't really the study of English and more the study of how to ruin a good book.

Reply 13

Katie_p

My English teacher had some great ones:
"I once bumped into a school art trip when I was leaving the Red Light District with my son Theo"
"I have lived a long time with small boys"
"I don't care if end up wearing a giant nappy and dribbling as long as I can keep reading"

He also told us a story, after we had left school and had a reunion barbeque, about an old lady to whom he sold a door, who asked him, "have you ever seen a woman suckle a budgie?" and, since he had not, proceeded to give him a demonstration!

Reply 14

Architecture-er

My Biology teacher would walk up behind me during lab sessions and say "Careful lad, you're in danger of starting"

My Physics teacher would fire rubbers at our heads throughout lessons with his catapult.

Basically science was a bit wierd :biggrin:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 15

lukeface

My old music teacher used to say to the girls in the class: "Open your legs wide and let the music flow out."

Reply 16

tehFrance

Original post by MacCuishy

My science teacher pointed to his crotch , starting thrusting it and said "that's where babies come from ladies"

I was shocked because babies actually come from the womb inside a woman.

You come from your fathers balls, remember that :wink:

Mine has to be when a teacher said to one of the arab guys "When you fail your exams, there is always the fallback of being a terrorist"... he said it so casually as well :shock:

Reply 17

Contrad!ction.

Not to me, but 'Mercedes, you look really hot'.

...It was a hot day. He didn't realise what he was saying until after he said it. Cue headdesk from him.