I just couldn't cum on my first handjob :(
Anon please
It was my first sexual experience with my boyfriend (I'm a virgin and he has had previous sexual partners). We had been kissing/foreplay for a while, but I'm not really sure how wet I was, so I dont know if that influenced his hand job for me.
Anyway, the kind of fingering that I am used to is stimulating the clit. In masturbation that's definitely how I'd do it and how I'd cum. However, I was a bit surprised to see him stick his finger into my vagina and kind of move it inwards and outwards. We were at it for about 5 minutes and he expected me to be kind of turned on when I really wasn't. He asked me whether I found it boring at which point I just mumbled because I didn't want to say he was bad. A minute or two later I just kind of gave up and said it would take ages for me to cum, so both of us just gave up and he felt quite bad, which just made me feel guilty.
Did I need longer to cum and should he have stuck at it for longer?
Can girls even cum that way?
Because for me fingering is playing with the clit.
Also, can girls cum within 5 minutes? Because I felt like he'd get impatient if I took longer, seeing he only took a couple of minutes when I gave him a handjob earlier.
It was my first sexual experience with my boyfriend (I'm a virgin and he has had previous sexual partners). We had been kissing/foreplay for a while, but I'm not really sure how wet I was, so I dont know if that influenced his hand job for me.
Anyway, the kind of fingering that I am used to is stimulating the clit. In masturbation that's definitely how I'd do it and how I'd cum. However, I was a bit surprised to see him stick his finger into my vagina and kind of move it inwards and outwards. We were at it for about 5 minutes and he expected me to be kind of turned on when I really wasn't. He asked me whether I found it boring at which point I just mumbled because I didn't want to say he was bad. A minute or two later I just kind of gave up and said it would take ages for me to cum, so both of us just gave up and he felt quite bad, which just made me feel guilty.
Did I need longer to cum and should he have stuck at it for longer?
Can girls even cum that way?
Because for me fingering is playing with the clit. Also, can girls cum within 5 minutes? Because I felt like he'd get impatient if I took longer, seeing he only took a couple of minutes when I gave him a handjob earlier.
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If he thinks it takes 5 minutes for a girl to come, he's clearly not that experienced. I know it might seem awkward, but if you want to come with him then you'll probably have to show him how to do it!
What they said. You know what works for you and he doesn't.
You'll probably need to teach him to start gently: most young men use a very firm grip when masturbating and can assume that women want loadsapressure too.
The answer to the questions
are yes, some do. But not all, not every time, and from the sound of it, not you. Hooray for knowing what does work.
You'll probably need to teach him to start gently: most young men use a very firm grip when masturbating and can assume that women want loadsapressure too.
The answer to the questions
are yes, some do. But not all, not every time, and from the sound of it, not you. Hooray for knowing what does work.It really depends on the person.
I can cum without my clit being touched and in under 5 minutes.
I can cum without my clit being touched and in under 5 minutes.
Original post by unprinted
What they said. You know what works for you and he doesn't.
You'll probably need to teach him to start gently: most young men use a very firm grip when masturbating and can assume that women want loadsapressure too.
The answer to the questions are yes, some do. But not all, not every time, and from the sound of it, not you. Hooray for knowing what does work.
You'll probably need to teach him to start gently: most young men use a very firm grip when masturbating and can assume that women want loadsapressure too.
The answer to the questions
are yes, some do. But not all, not every time, and from the sound of it, not you. Hooray for knowing what does work.But after about 5 minutes of vaginal fingering, is it possible to make a girl even remotely aroused?
Because I wasn't aroused at all! I think this pressure thing might be a thought, because all I could think of was how he was jabbing at my inside hoping it would arouse me.
And this is a stupid question, but how long do I have to "teach" him for? Because I felt really bad that it took me a total of under 10 minutes to make him cum whereas it would take me AGES longer than 10 minutes.
If you'd find it too awkward to tell him out loud, then just put your hand on his while it's down there, and move it upward so his fingers are on your clit. He should get the idea, and he'd be pretty dim not to.
Also, some girls can come that way but generally, most can't so don't worry about it.. just teach him to do it how you like it.
Also, some girls can come that way but generally, most can't so don't worry about it.. just teach him to do it how you like it.
Original post by ktlaurenroe
If you'd find it too awkward to tell him out loud, then just put your hand on his while it's down there, and move it upward so his fingers are on your clit. He should get the idea, and he'd be pretty dim not to.
Also, some girls can come that way but generally, most can't so don't worry about it.. just teach him to do it how you like it.
Also, some girls can come that way but generally, most can't so don't worry about it.. just teach him to do it how you like it.
I did take his hand and show him, and then I left him on his own for a bit, but it just wasn't arousing
In all honesty, I wasn't going to take his hand and **** myself off with his hand, so I left him to his own devices after giving him a clue that I'd want to cum through clitoral stimulation. I don't think he got the hint, because he just stroked the clit lightly. He seemed a lot more comfortable with vaginal fingering.Original post by Anonymous
But after about 5 minutes of vaginal fingering, is it possible to make a girl even remotely aroused?
Because I wasn't aroused at all! I think this pressure thing might be a thought, because all I could think of was how he was jabbing at my inside hoping it would arouse me.
And this is a stupid question, but how long do I have to "teach" him for? Because I felt really bad that it took me a total of under 10 minutes to make him cum whereas it would take me AGES longer than 10 minutes.
Because I wasn't aroused at all! I think this pressure thing might be a thought, because all I could think of was how he was jabbing at my inside hoping it would arouse me.
And this is a stupid question, but how long do I have to "teach" him for? Because I felt really bad that it took me a total of under 10 minutes to make him cum whereas it would take me AGES longer than 10 minutes.
It depends. I know at least one woman who really enjoys it, but she has to be turned on via non-genital play first, and she prefers to be masturbating herself while it happens.
How long? It depends on how determined he is that the porn he's seen is right. If he has the slightest sense, he will listen to you.
Original post by unprinted
It depends. I know at least one woman who really enjoys it, but she has to be turned on via non-genital play first, and she prefers to be masturbating herself while it happens.
How long? It depends on how determined he is that the porn he's seen is right. If he has the slightest sense, he will listen to you.
How long? It depends on how determined he is that the porn he's seen is right. If he has the slightest sense, he will listen to you.
+rep just for that comment, it made me laugh
Original post by Anonymous
I did take his hand and show him, and then I left him on his own for a bit, but it just wasn't arousing In all honesty, I wasn't going to take his hand and **** myself off with his hand, so I left him to his own devices after giving him a clue that I'd want to cum through clitoral stimulation. I don't think he got the hint, because he just stroked the clit lightly. He seemed a lot more comfortable with vaginal fingering.
In all honesty, I wasn't going to take his hand and **** myself off with his hand, so I left him to his own devices after giving him a clue that I'd want to cum through clitoral stimulation. I don't think he got the hint, because he just stroked the clit lightly. He seemed a lot more comfortable with vaginal fingering.But he's doing it to you, so it should be about what you find comfortable/enjoyable, not him.
don't feel obliged to make it about him, if you've pleased him the way he likes it then he should (and probably will be, if you ask him directly) be willing to do the same for you.Try it a few more times and he will get the hint, I've done it, I'm sure most girls have done it
if all fails you really will have to just tell him what you want him to do properly.And if you're still not aroused then maybe you're just not that into it generally? I can only speak for myself obviously but I'm usually pretty obviously turned on from just making out.
Original post by Anonymous
Anon please
It was my first sexual experience with my boyfriend (I'm a virgin and he has had previous sexual partners). We had been kissing/foreplay for a while, but I'm not really sure how wet I was, so I dont know if that influenced his hand job for me.
Anyway, the kind of fingering that I am used to is stimulating the clit. In masturbation that's definitely how I'd do it and how I'd cum. However, I was a bit surprised to see him stick his finger into my vagina and kind of move it inwards and outwards. We were at it for about 5 minutes and he expected me to be kind of turned on when I really wasn't. He asked me whether I found it boring at which point I just mumbled because I didn't want to say he was bad. A minute or two later I just kind of gave up and said it would take ages for me to cum, so both of us just gave up and he felt quite bad, which just made me feel guilty.
Did I need longer to cum and should he have stuck at it for longer?
Can girls even cum that way? Because for me fingering is playing with the clit.
Also, can girls cum within 5 minutes? Because I felt like he'd get impatient if I took longer, seeing he only took a couple of minutes when I gave him a handjob earlier.
It was my first sexual experience with my boyfriend (I'm a virgin and he has had previous sexual partners). We had been kissing/foreplay for a while, but I'm not really sure how wet I was, so I dont know if that influenced his hand job for me.
Anyway, the kind of fingering that I am used to is stimulating the clit. In masturbation that's definitely how I'd do it and how I'd cum. However, I was a bit surprised to see him stick his finger into my vagina and kind of move it inwards and outwards. We were at it for about 5 minutes and he expected me to be kind of turned on when I really wasn't. He asked me whether I found it boring at which point I just mumbled because I didn't want to say he was bad. A minute or two later I just kind of gave up and said it would take ages for me to cum, so both of us just gave up and he felt quite bad, which just made me feel guilty.
Did I need longer to cum and should he have stuck at it for longer?
Can girls even cum that way?
Because for me fingering is playing with the clit. Also, can girls cum within 5 minutes? Because I felt like he'd get impatient if I took longer, seeing he only took a couple of minutes when I gave him a handjob earlier.
This is no help and probably will just make you feel worse but this has happened with every boy I've been with and it takes me ages to get the confidence to explain..and even when I do sometimes they don't get it
Why don't you watch each other masturbate, and then he can see what you like if you feel awkward telling him. Though IMO, if you're comfortable enough to have sex with someone you really ought to be comfortable enough talking to them about it.
(hope this doesn't count as a sex tip)
(hope this doesn't count as a sex tip)
Original post by Kabloomybuzz
Why don't you watch each other masturbate, and then he can see what you like if you feel awkward telling him. Though IMO, if you're comfortable enough to have sex with someone you really ought to be comfortable enough talking to them about it.
(hope this doesn't count as a sex tip)
(hope this doesn't count as a sex tip)
Oh heavens no! I couldn't let him watch me masturbate, that'd just freak me out beyond no measure. I don't know why I find it awkward frankly, he's not awkward telling me what he wants at all. I just feel like I'm too demanding maybe when I ask him to do it "my way"?
We're not at the sex stage yet though, it's still only hand jobs for us at the moment. Well the next time I see him will be once uni starts, so I still have a while to make myself open to the idea of just telling him straight I suppose.
Original post by Anonymous
I was a bit surprised to see him stick his finger into my vagina and kind of move it inwards and outwards.
Well, sex is going to be a real shocker for you.
Original post by Anonymous
Oh heavens no! I couldn't let him watch me masturbate, that'd just freak me out beyond no measure. I don't know why I find it awkward frankly, he's not awkward telling me what he wants at all. I just feel like I'm too demanding maybe when I ask him to do it "my way"? We're not at the sex stage yet though, it's still only hand jobs for us at the moment.
Well the next time I see him will be once uni starts, so I still have a while to make myself open to the idea of just telling him straight I suppose.
We're not at the sex stage yet though, it's still only hand jobs for us at the moment. Well the next time I see him will be once uni starts, so I still have a while to make myself open to the idea of just telling him straight I suppose.
You don't sound like you're ready to have sexual relations at all, quite frankly. Letting your partner know what pleases you should not be such a terrifying experience. Maybe you should wait until you're older, or you've found someone you're more comfortable with.
In answer to one of your original questions, it depends on the individual. My girlfriend seems to be the opposite, she loves vaginal fingering but doesn't seem to get much out of her clit. You have to tell him what you want or there's no point in doing sexual things..
Original post by Phil2008
Well, sex is going to be a real shocker for you.
:rollseyes: That's not the point, I was under the impression that more women preferred clitoral fingering to vaginal fingering.
Original post by Pink Bullets
You don't sound like you're ready to have sexual relations at all, quite frankly. Letting your partner know what pleases you should not be such a terrifying experience. Maybe you should wait until you're older, or you've found someone you're more comfortable with.
I'm nearly 20 now and I've never felt more comfortable with anyone else so I don't think I should really be waiting anymore.
I don't know, I'm more open to pleasing him than him pleasing me, because then I just feel really greedy.
Original post by Anonymous
:rollseyes: That's not the point, I was under the impression that more women preferred clitoral fingering to vaginal fingering.
I'm nearly 20 now and I've never felt more comfortable with anyone else so I don't think I should really be waiting anymore.
I don't know, I'm more open to pleasing him than him pleasing me, because then I just feel really greedy.
I'm nearly 20 now and I've never felt more comfortable with anyone else so I don't think I should really be waiting anymore.
I don't know, I'm more open to pleasing him than him pleasing me, because then I just feel really greedy.
While it is indeed true and common that some women cannot orgasm from vaginal stimulation, getting absolutely no pleasure or arousal from it isn't normal. And from reading your posts, you're making it seem as if your boyfriend is doing something wrong, which isn't the case as he's had previous sexual partners and chances are they enjoyed it (and therefore assumed you would enjoy it too). In any case, if you really don't find it pleasurable it's up to you to let your boyfriend know instead of mumbling and just telling him to stop.
Original post by Anonymous
Oh heavens no! I couldn't let him watch me masturbate, that'd just freak me out beyond no measure. I don't know why I find it awkward frankly, he's not awkward telling me what he wants at all. I just feel like I'm too demanding maybe when I ask him to do it "my way"? We're not at the sex stage yet though, it's still only hand jobs for us at the moment.
Well the next time I see him will be once uni starts, so I still have a while to make myself open to the idea of just telling him straight I suppose.
We're not at the sex stage yet though, it's still only hand jobs for us at the moment. Well the next time I see him will be once uni starts, so I still have a while to make myself open to the idea of just telling him straight I suppose.
You've solved your own problem - you need to talk. If you can't sort handjobs out, sex might be a total nightmare. If you believe you're comfortable with him, you should be able to talk to him.
I had this sort of thing with my current boyfriend, I just spoke up a bit, we're both much happier for it. Good Luck!
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