Dealing with a sociopathic parent?

(They have put me in a chokehold once and have handled me roughly in other ways, like forcibly keeping my head still and gripping my shoulders hard, but that's about it) and are more emotionally abusive and manipulative.

I don't know how old you are, but either way - you should alert someone you know/who is trusting (i.e another family member/friend/teacher etc).
It's probably having a HUGE impact on you and you shouldn't have to deal with that alone.
Please; find anyone to talk to, the Samaritans hotline or Child line (if you're younger) but don't keep this quiet.

x

I'm 17 and my mother already knows about the situation. I decided to not speak to him a couple of months ago due to a particularly nasty incident, and he actually managed to ruin our Christmas due to his attitude and by blaming me and my mother. A couple of hours later, he claimed to be sorry for absolutely everything he's done (it was the most emotionless apology I've ever seen) while also altering the story whenever I mentioned things he'd done. As a result, I rejected his apology. According to my mother, he cried (first time I've heard of him crying in my life), but I doubt it was due to remorse.

I'm 17 and my mother already knows about the situation. I decided to not speak to him a couple of months ago due to a particularly nasty incident, and he actually managed to ruin our Christmas

he can't be a socio-path if he can be emphatic and have emotions as far as i know-if he genuinely cried i doubt he is a sociopath. He is probably just really aggressive and antisocial-like my dad. If he was a sociopath he would like hurting people for no reason and feel absolutely nothing-no remorse.

Counselling might help? sorry don't have anything else.

I find it sad when family members manage to sabotage a time of year when everything should be happy.
It sounds like the social support of your mother hasn't really helped (when you say you don't believe her when she said he cried) at which point I urge to to tell a school teacher or call Child Line... It could help YOU to have a few counselling sessions/talk to someone you don't know or who has no emotional attachment to the situation to talk it through and be clear on where you should approach these situations for next time. DO NOT GET ME WRONG; I am not condemning your mother for lack of support, but I feel it might be more productive to talk to another person and get different perspectives and ideas/ways of dealing or coping with his behaviour.

Sadly if you read anything on sociopaths (I realise he's not actually been diagnosed as this) but it does really state to try and keep them out of your life; which is probably unthinkable for you as you are his child and he is your father and thus there is a family bond (and it would be unreasonable for me to suggest not having him in your life) - but it is something to think about in regards to how often you see him, perhaps?

Sorry, I know this probably isn't too much help. x

Well the thing is, this is the only time he has ever apologised to me and ever cried, even though I've been very upset because of him before. He's shouted at me for hours for something trivial or beyond my control and has never expressed any guilt at my distress. I think he cried because he's probably upset at the prospect of being kicked out of our house (which I very much hope for).

Hmm if that's the case he might be a sociopath, but i wonder how he could've fallen in love with your mum. But he might have been bottling his feelings up.

You can move out once you're 18-which I'm going to do or you could talk to your mum, have heart-to-heart conversation and perhaps kick him out? Don't you have a school counsellor?

he can't be a socio-path if he can be emphatic and have emotions as far as i know-if he genuinely cried i doubt he is a sociopath. He is probably just really aggressive and antisocial-like my dad. If he was a sociopath he would like hurting people for no reason and feel absolutely nothing-no remorse.

Counselling might help? sorry don't have anything else.

...Sociopaths can fake cry and they tend to be very good at it, using other peoples emotions again them in order to manipulate them.

My Dad was a sociopath OP. They are very clever, very cunning, very manipulative and the things they can do can be pure evil. I actually can't put into words how clever this man was, and how evil the things he did and how well he did it - to everyone else he came across the most caring person in the world...all cover so he could continue his abuse and no-one would believe my mother.

i'm having the same problem and finding it really difficult, I think my mother is a sociopath, and she continually tells me my dad is hurting her and hitting her, but the only time i've seen him violent is when he's had to stop her hitting him. He does have a temper though, so I feel really guilty when I brush off her allegations. its so hard not knowing who to believe.

It may not be for sociopath reasons she's doing that. I've seen jealousy do what you've described. There's a possibility she could be trying to turn you against him however, but I know neither well enough to speculate. Sorry about the pounding of questions but it'll help me gain a better picture:

Do you have a close relationship with your father?
Do her accusations increase if you've spent a lot of time with him?
Does your mother have any bruises?
When he looses his temper what does he tend to do?
Does your Mum wind him up?
Does your Mum have any other friends that she's spoken to about it?
Who is 'the boss' of the house?

The best thing for you to do imo, is sit back and watch and observe. That, or tell your Mum to speak to someone because if she is being abused, it's not going to stop with her keeping quiet. Likewise it's not helping by her telling you because it puts you in this very confusing position .

Sorry to hear - these kinds of situations are really not nice. Domestic violence isn't nice, and these mind **** type things are equally, if not worse.

Feel free to PM me if you like =).