Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

My friend is straight but in denial

My friend has been telling everyone she's a lesbian for over a year since she came to uni and i met her, despite the fact that she's had about four boyfriends since then that i've heard her have and definately enjoy sex with them. I've also seen her shy away from very attractive girls in clubs and bars who come onto her, half the time she was saying they were so hot too and she would love to sleep with them until they actually came over and started flirting.

I think it's because she was friends with a large group of emo people who all said they were gay or bi to rebel against their parents or something before i met her but she gets really upset if i bring it up. She has trouble socialising because people think she's a bit nuts and doesn't think about what she's saying. I think the lesbian thing was her trying to fit in with her friends when she was younger and she's still trying to use that as a way to be in the group but no one i know here is gay or bi openly so faking being gay is doing nothing for her reputation or making her cooler here. Plus she's normally very open about her sex life and i mean VERY open but says she's done nothing with girls or tried too and gets very angry when we ask her how she knows she's a lesbian then. I'm a guy and i've had man crushes and gay thoughts sometimes but i would never consider myself gay or even bi really and she insists that she's lesbian and not bi.

I know lot's of people will think i should leave her to her own devices but i know lot's of great people who would love to go out with her (guys) but think she's a lesbian so don't try though i'm almost positive she has very little sexual feelings towards women in general. I think she probably gets crushes on other girls but i'm sure most people get same sex crushes sometimes.

Whoa that was long winded but i've been thinking about talking to her for a while and have no idea what to say without sounding like i'm telling her to be straight which will probably make me look like an intolerant fascist to her as she already thinks i'm rather opinionated on most matters.

Any advice would be great, cheers :smile:

Reply 1

treasureBelle

OK, so she says she's a lesbian.

It's possible she might be bi - and no, it's not necessary to have done anything with someone of the gender concerned, in order for someone to be gay/bi/whatever. If that were the case, no one could be straight unless they'd done something with someone of the opposite sex. :rolleyes:

I'd just leave her to it, frankly. It's her life, her sexuality, and her decision. You don't need to get involved. If she really is straight, then let her come to that conclusion in her own time.

Reply 2

heyhey922

Original post by treasureBelle

Let her come to that conclusion in her own time.

This, just let her be

Reply 3

Pink Bullets

Why do you care so much? Is it affecting you? Are you hoping that if you get her to admit she's straight she'll have sex with you? Maybe she pretends to be a lesbian so you won't hit on her.