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Football Jokes

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    What's the difference between Torres and soup?

    ..Soup is a regular starter:ahee:

    Post any football related jokes that you know, and please don't argue over them. This thread is purely for a laugh, not debating over what team/player is better
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    Why is it George Michaels lifetime ambition to play in goal for Celtic?.


    Because he'd have 10 ********s infront of him and 60'000 pricks behind him!
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    drogba is better though
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    A joke? Titus Bramble playing in the Premier League...
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    What does a Liverpool fan do after watching his team win the premier league?

    Turn off the playstation.
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    Arsène Wenger won't stand for any nonsense. Tonight he caught a couple of fans climbing over the wall at craven cottage.

    He was furious. He grabbed them by the collars and said,

    "Now you just get back in there and watch the game till it finishes, we've not thrown it away yet."
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    Torres broke David Blaine's record of doing **** all in a box for 40 days....
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    BREAKING NEWS: Emile Heskey just went on a large shooting spree in Birmingham...

    No-one was hit.
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    As the transfer window opens Wenger can't find his pocket

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    (Original post by Fusion)
    As the transfer window opens Wenger can't find his pocket

    ahahahahahhahaha
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    Love the Torres box one and the Heskey one
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    Liverpool sign Bent

    Spoiler:
    Show
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    Christmas: The only time Liverpool fans wanna hear Carroll's playing.
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    Andy Carrol

    Fernando Torres

    Enough said.
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    Gary Cahill's move to Chelsea has broken down as his wife can't agree personal terms with John Terry.
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    Some very funny jokes, here's an international one

    It’s Fabio Capello’s first day as England manager and he walks into the showers and sees a large poo on the floor. He goes straight to the dressing room to confront the players and asks “who’s **** on the floor?”
    At which point Peter Crouch sticks his hand up and says “yeah, but I’m good in the air!”
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    (Original post by pinda.college)
    Some very funny jokes, here's an international one

    It’s Fabio Capello’s first day as England manager and he walks into the showers and sees a large poo on the floor. He goes straight to the dressing room to confront the players and asks “who’s **** on the floor?”
    At which point Peter Crouch sticks his hand up and says “yeah, but I’m good in the air!”
    Lol, yeah Capello has a personal vendetta against Crouch.
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    (Original post by pinda.college)
    What's the difference between Torres and soup?

    ..Soup is a regular starter:ahee:

    Post any football related jokes that you know, and please don't argue over them. This thread is purely for a laugh, not debating over what team/player is better
    ^Lololololololol - best Torres joke at the mo.

    Luis Suarez has been brought up on second racism charges after talking to a black supporer and calling him a negro. Luis Suarez was insulted when he heard these accusations. "I'm disgusted by these accusations, I mean, why would I be talking to a negro?"
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    David Beckham has snubbed a move to Paris St. Germain: "German is a hard language to learn and I want to finish trying to learn American."
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    Theo Walcott believes he can learn a lot from Thierry Henry, mainly how to play football.

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