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Football Jokes

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Post on TSR and win a prize! Find out more... 10-04-2014
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    Bolton striker David Ngog is set to turn his back on France and switch his footballing allegiance to England, despite featuring for France at every junior level.
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    what is the funniest joke you have heard related to football?

    i will start with one
    Why do people take an instant dislike to Arsenal ??
    It saves time.
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    I met a fairy today who granted me one wish. "I want to live forever," I said.

    "Sorry," said the fairy, "I'm not allowed to grant wishes like that."

    "Fine," I said, "I want to die when liverpool win the premier league."

    "You crafty ****!" said the fairy.
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    Not mine but...


    A pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at Ibrox. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.
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    Fernando Torres: how am I supposed to score when there's a goalkeeper infront of the goal?
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    Andy Carroll.
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    (Original post by facdroit)
    Fernando Torres: how am I supposed to score when there's a goalkeeper infront of the goal?
    Jokes on you though because Torres scored 2 goals and assisted 2 yesterday ha!
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    the SPL
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    (Original post by localfox1000)
    Not mine but...


    A pound coin was thrown onto the pitch at Ibrox. Police are trying to determine whether it was a missile or a takeover bid.
    :rofl:

    Love it, any humour at the expense of rangers is good in my book.
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    (Original post by facdroit)
    Fernando Torres: how am I supposed to score when there's a goalkeeper infront of the goal?
    This thread is for jokes, not facts.
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    My missus just split up with me because she thinks I'm obsessed with football.

    I'm a bit gutted about it; we'd been going out for 3 seasons.
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    (Original post by Alofleicester)
    :rofl:

    Love it, any humour at the expense of rangers is good in my book.
    What do Rangers fans and masturbation have in common?

    Nothing, but it doesn't hurt to knock one out every now and again.
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    (Original post by pinda.college)
    Jokes on you though because Torres scored 2 goals and assisted 2 yesterday ha!
    Leicester city is serious business.
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    (Original post by facdroit)
    Leicester city is serious business.
    :unimpressed:


    Police have recently announced there has been a number of incidents of Coventry players breaking the speed limit and running red lights - apparently it's the only way they can pick up some points.
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    Emile Heskey.
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    Theres ugly scenes outside Anfield, as Dirk Kuyt steps off the team bus
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    This week, the first 3D football matches were shown in public.

    I watched the Chelsea match with my girlfriend and at one point John Terry tried to **** her.
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    What do you say to a Leeds United fan with a job?
    A: Can I have a Big Mac please!
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    That Liverpool win the league. Their stupid fans say it every year and they haven't won it for 21 years. some comments on their website even had people saying they won the league.

    Not happening with "King" kenny though! need a new manager...
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    looking through some old texts my mate had sent me this gem a couple of weeks ago.

    Whats got 4 legs and more money than Rangers?

    Harry Redknapp's dog

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Updated: April 8, 2013
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