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Football Jokes

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    (Original post by Da_hopeful_1)
    :ahee:
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    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage...-remember.html
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    Got no problem with him celebrating with his team, getting changed into his kit was pretty sad though.
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    (Original post by DaveSmith99)
    Can we throw Suarez in there as well?
    Yes, after he stubbs a cigarette out in somebody's eye, assaults a youth player, gets thrown in jail for a while, assaults more people, sleeps with his team-mates wife, his family are all drug dealers, and attacks people regularly on the field.
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    (Original post by Jim-Jam)
    Yes, after he stubbs a cigarette out in somebody's eye, assaults a youth player, gets thrown in jail for a while, assaults more people, sleeps with his team-mates wife, his family are all drug dealers, and attacks people regularly on the field.
    He's only 25 and he's already got racism, cheating, and biting someone on the pitch checked off. Give him a few more years and he will cross off some of the others . If he's lucky then that lovely Bellamy bloke might teach him how to assault someone as well.
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    (Original post by DaveSmith99)
    He's only 25 and he's already got racism, cheating, and biting someone on the pitch checked off. Give him a few more years and he will cross off some of the others . If he's lucky then that lovely Bellamy bloke might teach him how to assault someone as well.
    His cheating should be split up.

    He single-handedly (pun intended) stopped Ghana - the last African nation (who all neutrals basically supported) - from progressing in the WC. Yeah, Gyan missed a penalty, but that was a sure goal before he blatantly cheated. Best part is that he celebrated the penalty miss like an *******, as though it was a good thing that he cheated.

    Dives like a pro and complains to refs about anything and everything.

    He's got a lot under his belt already.
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    (Original post by Xotol)
    His cheating should be split up.

    He single-handedly (pun intended) stopped Ghana - the last African nation (who all neutrals basically supported) - from progressing in the WC. Yeah, Gyan missed a penalty, but that was a sure goal before he blatantly cheated. Best part is that he celebrated the penalty miss like an *******, as though it was a good thing that he cheated.

    Dives like a pro and complains to refs about anything and everything.

    He's got a lot under his belt already.
    Unlike 90% of British people, maybe he actually cares about his country?
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    (Original post by Jim-Jam)
    Unlike 90% of scousers, maybe he actually cares about his country?
    Fixed that for you.
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    (Original post by DaveSmith99)
    Fixed that for you.
    Well yeah... Fairplay. Say what you want, everybody's saying England are ****e, not just scousers. But I support my country anyway.
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    (Original post by Jim-Jam)
    Well yeah... Fairplay. Say what you want, everybody's saying England are ****e, not just scousers. But I support my country anyway.
    True, but that's because we are ****e

    Im not really that bothered about the national team. Find it hard to get behind us when we are so bad and the team is full of dicks.
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    I came across these two videos, Loved this Impressions show by McGowan. There's quite a few on Youtube, these two are my faves of the ones I've seen online



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    Roy Hodgson has caused a race row after praising the 100 metres over the 60m sprint races.
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    (Original post by pinda.college)
    What's the difference between Torres and soup?

    ..Soup is a regular starter:ahee:

    Post any football related jokes that you know, and please don't argue over them. This thread is purely for a laugh, not debating over what team/player is better
    love the Torres one ^ absolute class
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    Victor Valdes playing 90 minutes without cocking up.
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    Despite his recent display against Liverpool, where he parted the red sea, Moses is expected to lead the Chelsea exodus this summer. Other possible departures include Hazard who is reportedly Eden to PSG and JT who has lost his place after some truly terryble performances. Rafa Benitez remains adamant however, that these losses will not mata juan jot as he intends to sign Alonso and Ibrahimovic. Everyone nose Ibra would be a success considering his immense talent, and Alonso is not too xabi either.
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    Adam Johnson is delighted by the Di Canio appointment with all the focus on the right wing.

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