Sick of this ****

I'm not going to say the usual crap such as 'she will come one day' or 'raise your game'

To be honest, sometimes a bit of luck comes into it. You can meet people through friends of friends, parties, family friends etc

If you're feeling like crap, then how can someone appreciate you.
You have to love/appreciate yourself enough to attract people.

Guys tend to be more atractive when they are passionate about something/not boring/ have aspirations...

Thanks for not saying the usual crap

The last bit's interesting, because no one has any idea how i feel (which is pretty saddening in itself). I'm surprised when people say i'm confident and things like that because inside i feel shy and slightly pathetic.

I actually do have high aspirations and i try my best to be as good as possible at everything i do. I'm talented, smart and people even say i'm very attractive. I'm not someone who just sits around feeling sorry for themselves, but sometimes i feel like doing just that. I tend to believe i have quite a lot going for me but the fact that still no one appreciates me makes me feel like there's actually just something wrong with me.

I'm a guy, 19, a virgin, never been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, standard ****. I'm sick of it.

I'm not asking for advice on how to get a gf or anything like that. I know it's kinda my fault coz i'm so fussy and when occasionally someone comes along who i like a lot and want to make an effort for, it turns out they're not interested.

Yeh so i'm not really asking for help with that. I guess i'll just have to keep waiting. The real problem is it's really getting me down. My self esteem is falling all the time because nobody's really ever appreciated me in that sort of way, and i feel pretty worthless. When i hear about/see my friends and how much they're enjoying being with their bf/gf it just makes me feel incredibly sad, like i'm really missing out. Sometimes i wake up and just feel like going back to bed because i'm so depressed.

Anyone got any advice on what i can do to pick myself up?

I spent three ish years being generally depressed and just not getting anything out of life, so I know how you feel.

My issues stemmed from a serious lack of self esteem and even if it's not directly the underlying cause, you should deal with it as soon as you can (whilst working out what the actual cause is). The way I got around this was by spending a couple of minutes each morning/evening, reminding myself what I liked about myself, what was good about my life, etc.

It sounds unbelivably cheesy, I know, but your attitude to yourself and your life makes a serious impact. Try it for a couple of days; if you really try to feel good about yourself, it'll become far easier and you'll start doing it automatically - which makes everything a whole lot easier.

I hope that helps, feel free to PM me if you need a chat, or want some more advice

The last bit's interesting, because no one has any idea how i feel (which is pretty saddening in itself). I'm surprised when people say i'm confident and things like that because inside i feel shy and slightly pathetic.

Thanks, would rep you if i could.

I'm pretty happy with how i am, in fact i couldn't be much happier. But i think the unhappiness stems from having still had no experience of anything intimate at the age of 19, despite being happy and having a lot of things going for me.

Literally, there is nothing i'm doing wrong and there's nothing wrong with me (on the outside at least). It's not as if i sit in my room all day worrying (although sometimes i feel like doing just that) and wonder why nobody wants to be with me. I get out and do the stuff i enjoy doing, i socialise a lot, have plenty of friends, take care of my appearance, dress well and i'm supposedly good/very good looking etc. But still absolutely nothing. I guess the depression stems from knowing that something's wrong, but not knowing what the problem is.

It's got to the point where, even if i do find myself in a relationship, i'm scared i won't know what to do and things won't work out because she'll expect me to, by this age, have some sort of experience.

It's got to the point where, even if i do find myself in a relationship, i'm scared i won't know what to do and things won't work out because she'll expect me to, by this age, have some sort of experience.

Thanks, would rep you if i could.

I'm pretty happy with how i am, in fact i couldn't be much happier. But i think the unhappiness stems from having still had no experience of anything intimate at the age of 19, despite being happy and having a lot of things going for me.

Literally, there is nothing i'm doing wrong and there's nothing wrong with me (on the outside at least). It's not as if i sit in my room all day worrying (although sometimes i feel like doing just that) and wonder why nobody wants to be with me. I get out and do the stuff i enjoy doing, i socialise a lot, have plenty of friends, take care of my appearance, dress well and i'm supposedly good/very good looking etc. But still absolutely nothing. I guess the depression stems from knowing that something's wrong, but not knowing what the problem is.

It's got to the point where, even if i do find myself in a relationship, i'm scared i won't know what to do and things won't work out because she'll expect me to, by this age, have some sort of experience.

I could have wrote 90% of that myself OP. I'm in my first year at uni and love my life at the moment, with this one exception. I've met tons of new people and made plenty of friends but just can't seem to find anyone who i want to progress things with It seems everyone i meet is either in an LDR or only wants something casual, but i want something a bit more meaningful than a drunken snog in a club. I'm happy to wait for someone who is right for me but i'm honestly starting to wonder if i'm the problem and if it'll ever happen.

When I was about 12 (I'm 18 now), all the kids at school were going out with each other and pretty much everyone had some kind of sex life by the time we all started GCSEs. I was absolutely OBSSESSED with getting a girlfriend, just 'cause I felt like such an outsider (also around the time I was struggling from depression). Things just went to absolute sh*t every time I tried though, mainly because I was so obssessed. Eventually I calmed down a bit, made myself relax, tried not to care so much and things just kind of worked themselves out.

I know it's not quite the same thing, but my point is that if you stop worrying about it so much, you might see some form of progress.

If you find yourself suffering still from depressive tendencies/moods... I hate to sound like some internet nut, but a little meditation never goes amiss. Clears the mind, relaxes you, lets you take back a little control (I believe that the key to all of this is your attitude to life, so that's why my post is fairly that way inclined).

And remember, if it gets really bad, think about seeing a counselor. They're professionals after all, and most of us here are just bored, horny teenagers

Honestly, who gives a crap if you have had intimate experience/sex by 19 or not. It's just social pressure - that's the only reason you care you haven't had any experience yet. Just remind yourself of that as much as possible and it should bug you less.

It sucks that there is an age where your expected to have done/experienced these things - it's something natural that does at the end of the day, kinda happen by luck.

19 and a virgin? Fuuuu...First world problems, we have it tough.

Why neg? That is my advice. Realise there is much more to life than girls or sex. Sorry if my reply didn't give advice on how to make your penis happy.

I see where you're coming from but i wouldn't say i'm obsessed necessarily. I'm not going to get with someone whom i don't really really like just because i want a gf. I'm pretty sure i could've done that by now and had quite a few relationships but i don't really want that. What makes me desperate is when, very very occasionally, the right one comes along and it turns out she's not interested.

Maybe the odds are stacked against me and i'm not giving myself much of a chance by being so fussy but i wouldn't want to change that.

Thanks for the reply, you do sound a lot like me especially the bit in bold. Except i've found someone who i really like and really want to make an effort with, but i'm being over cautious because i'm so scared of messing it up. I'm gonna try and progress things further when we get back to uni, but if nothing happens i know i'll feel terrible because there is literally no one i've come across yet at uni that i like anywhere near as much. Unfortunately, the signs aren't looking good and she doesn't appear to be interested in me as more than a friend so i'm kinda preparing myself for failure once again.