(Original post by ZZ9)
I've just read the whole of KhaosKomix and aah, feelings.
Because the realisation of the morning is that other people aren't me, and that they don't think about things in the same way and that what I know to be true isn't the same for other people, and apparently they can't read my mind and know that.
Holy ****, all that from a comic. A fantastic comic, but still. And aah, the feelings. It's all the feelings, every single one of them, and actually, it's 4.30 so I'm probably overemotional or something, but aah, I have feelings and so do the KhaosKomix people, and so do other people that exist in real life and.. holy ****, that's a lot of feelings. I think I preferred thinking that I was the only one who actually experienced them.
I hope I'm not making a bad impression on my new next-door person. I haven't actually met her yet, but I'm sitting typing. I hope the keys aren't audible to her.
In 29 hours, I have my first proper counselling thing. I want her to call me Andrew and write he in whatever notes she makes, but.. I don't know how to ask that without it being weird. The whole point of the counselling is to try and clarify gender-y things and I've told them everything on my form, but I didn't actually say "call me this", and the person I saw for the preliminary appointment called me -name which shall not be named- so I'm guessing that she wrote she and things.
I was talking to my friend tonight and she said that I'd never seemed like a -name which shall not be named-. I'm not out to her, and we weren't discussing anything even remotely related, but.. well, that's good
But I have to go and convince people that I'm actually a man and I don't want to. I don't like talking about myself that much- I only do it with people that I really, really trust and even then I worry. I don't want to have to go to doctors and whatever else and tell them how I feel because it has nothing to do with them. But then again, they control the drugs, so there's not much choice.
Oh Goddd, I should go to sleep.