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Guys: what are your reasons for turning cold after flirting with a girl??

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    Why do guys turn cold or distant after flirting with a girl?? Why do guys do this??
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    I can assure you girls do this too! I think sometimes you just realise that the person's not right for you and there's no point in forcing it because in the end, you just make two people very unhappy.

    Relationships shouldn't be THAT challenging in the beginning. You know you've got something worth fighting for when you aren't asked to fight for it.

    - Becky
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    (Original post by beckylou67)
    I can assure you girls do this too! I think sometimes you just realise that the person's not right for you and there's no point in forcing it because in the end, you just make two people very unhappy.

    Relationships shouldn't be THAT challenging in the beginning. You know you've got something worth fighting for when you aren't asked to fight for it.

    - Becky
    Yeah, I agree. But there's this guy who always does this to me. He'll flirt with me/tells me what he thinks of me but then acts cold with me the next day. And when I try to talk to him in a normal non-flirty way, he just ignores me or completely avoids me. It's like he only communicates with me in a flirty way, and to be honest, I don't know what to make of that :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I agree. But there's this guy who always does this to me. He'll flirt with me/tells me what he thinks of me but then acts cold with me the next day. And when I try to talk to him in a normal non-flirty way, he just ignores me or completely avoids me. It's like he only communicates with me in a flirty way, and to be honest, I don't know what to make of that :/
    He wishes he had someone to have sex with. He's just had a w**k.
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    (Original post by Phil2008)
    He wishes he had someone to have sex with. He's just had a w**k.
    Loool!!

    So he doesn't actually like me?? So basically, I'm just someone he can have a flirt with??

    wait and till I see him and rip his balls now!!
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    Won't put out
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Won't put out
    What do you mean?
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    I'm a girl, and the reason is mainly because you are nothing more than a 'looker' ...if your friendship/relationship is based on being flirtatious - forget it...he sees you as nothing more than someone he wants to 'HOOK UP WITH' ...
    He doesn't know the real you, so will never ask you out to be his girlfriend/wifey...guys are funny that way..you can flirt until pigs can fly, but don't expect to be asked out -it's the harsh truth but yeah

    :/

    Don't be trapped even if he tells you something personal that you think no one else will know - i got my heartbroken thinking that I knew something not a lot of girls would know and that it was going somewhere, it went somewhere for sure - a block -_- it's not worth it...
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    (Original post by ToyosiBaby)
    I'm a girl, and the reason is mainly because you are nothing more than a 'looker' ...if your friendship/relationship is based on being flirtatious - forget it...he sees you as nothing more than someone he wants to 'HOOK UP WITH' ...
    He doesn't know the real you, so will never ask you out to be his girlfriend/wifey...guys are funny that way..you can flirt until pigs can fly, but don't expect to be asked out -it's the harsh truth but yeah

    :/

    Don't be trapped even if he tells you something personal that you think no one else will know - i got my heartbroken thinking that I knew something not a lot of girls would know and that it was going somewhere, it went somewhere for sure - a block -_- it's not worth it...
    I ain't trying to get him to ask me out. He knows the real me' because we've been friends for a very, very long time. That's why I don't quite get his drama. I just want him to talk to me in a normal way. Now it's like as though he's pissed off with me. Do you expect a guy to act cold or avoid you just because you said you don't wanna flirt?

    This guy is a joke if he thinks he's gonna get some action!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I ain't trying to get him to ask me out. He knows the real me' because we've been friends for a very, very long time. That's why I don't quite get his drama. I just want him to talk to me in a normal way. Now it's like as though he's pissed off with me. Do you expect a guy to act cold or avoid you just because you said you don't wanna flirt?

    This guy is a joke if he thinks he's gonna get some action!!
    Yes honestly I would..because I have been flirty with many guys and get this reaction 'cold' or 'one word answers' ...all I can say is that it is NOT right! i'm not condoning this behaviour...BUT guys think VERY differently to girls..and okay you may be friends..but it's a friendship built on flirty-ness ...and you should not decieve yourself because you clearly like him -just saying i know the signs lol - and wouldn't be bothered if all he want to do is 'poke' you ...clearly you want more than that...hence why I said relationship...but he may not think he is going to get it, and may feel like he is sending mixed signals...which is why he is cold...guys are like sores

    Pop up when they want, but when they leave..they leave a scar..they return again fresh and then leave...NOT ALL GUYS though...but this guy is definitely a sore guy..lol -weird metaphor I know but you know loool
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What do you mean?
    If I get the vibe that she's not going to put out (relatively quickly) e.g. she's a virgin, prudish, an 'only in relationships' kinda girl etc, then I'm unlikely to bother hitting on her with quite the same intensity
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Why do guys turn cold or distant after flirting with a girl?? Why do guys do this??
    cos they may seem stuck up and self-interested, thats a massive turn off
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    (Original post by ToyosiBaby)
    Yes honestly I would..because I have been flirty with many guys and get this reaction 'cold' or 'one word answers' ...all I can say is that it is NOT right! i'm not condoning this behaviour...BUT guys think VERY differently to girls..and okay you may be friends..but it's a friendship built on flirty-ness ...and you should not decieve yourself because you clearly like him -just saying i know the signs lol - and wouldn't be bothered if all he want to do is 'poke' you ...clearly you want more than that...hence why I said relationship...but he may not think he is going to get it, and may feel like he is sending mixed signals...which is why he is cold...guys are like sores

    Pop up when they want, but when they leave..they leave a scar..they return again fresh and then leave...NOT ALL GUYS though...but this guy is definitely a sore guy..lol -weird metaphor I know but you know loool
    First of all, you're completely wrong. No, I don't like him. Well not in that way. Yes, I care about him..but that doesn't mean I want him. So therefore, I am not decieving myself. The problem is yeah, I don't want him to think that he can't communicate with me via flirting because I don't want a friendship with him which he flirts with me. I want a normal friendship and that's pretty much it. I don't get why he doesn't really talk to me now, I'm not really ask him much.

    Me: no flirting
    Him: cold
    Me: what the ****!!
    Result: no friendship :/
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    If I get the vibe that she's not going to put out (relatively quickly) e.g. she's a virgin, prudish, an 'only in relationships' kinda girl etc, then I'm unlikely to bother hitting on her with quite the same intensity
    OP, that'll be the reason why the guy you're talking about appears to act cold with you. He won't be interested in developing any kind of emotional bond with because that would complicate matters and kind of get in the way of what he's looking for.
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    If I get the vibe that she's not going to put out (relatively quickly) e.g. she's a virgin, prudish, an 'only in relationships' kinda girl etc, then I'm unlikely to bother hitting on her with quite the same intensity
    But why can't you just be friends with her without hitting on her if she won't put out?

    No wonder us girls think that most guys just want a quick shag lol
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    Become a lesbian. :nothing:
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    OP, that'll be the reason why the guy you're talking about appears to act cold with you. He won't be interested in developing any kind of emotional bond with because that would complicate matters and kind of get in the way of what he's looking for.
    So all my friend is looking for is a chance to get between my legs and if he knows that will never happen, he doesn't wanna know me?

    Nice
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    (Original post by Lucia.)
    He won't be interested in developing any kind of emotional bond with because that would complicate matters and kind of get in the way of what he's looking for
    Not necessarily about complication - some emotional bonds are fine - it's more about prospects for seeing a healthy return on my investment in good time

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But why can't you just be friends with her without hitting on her if she won't put out?
    I never said I couldn't just be friends

    If I got the distinct impression from the start that she simply wasn't interested in me, or the type of relations I wanted, then I wouldn't crack onto a girl in the first place

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No wonder us girls think that most guys just want a quick shag lol
    Well yes, that is the primary motivation for some guys

    For me it's a little more complicated than that but atm it does tend to boil down to seeking girls out who are more concerned with enjoying me than depending on me necessarily :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Vikki1805)
    Become a lesbian. :nothing:
    Hahaha, nah

    Although girls are less complicated than guys
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So all my friend is looking for is a chance to get between my legs and if he knows that will never happen, he doesn't wanna know me?

    Nice
    I don't know your situation so I might have jumped the gun a bit. I've just tried to be friends with guys before who don't want to know me unless I'm flirting with them. It could be heading towards the fact he might want something more casual/sexual than you and in that case you have to make the distinction in your behaviour between friends and something else.

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Updated: January 14, 2012
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