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How has CBT changed you and your way of thinking?

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Original post by Nerol

CBT has taught me the up-sides of talking about my problems and feelings, and also how to deal with issues in a healthy manner (rather than turning to drugs or alcohol like I used to). It has taught me to want to improve myself and given me motivation to make something of my life. Unfortunately, my trust issues with the people around me couldn't be fixed, but I remember my therapist saying to me one day, "If there really is no one around you that you can talk to or trust, why don't you get away from them?". To this day, I still have that single sentence to thank for the fact that I left England and moved to Beijing. I'm sure she didn't mean it in such a literal way, but it's the best thing I've ever done.

Right now, I have a life here that I love, I have people I trust and I'm doing well. I honestly believe that if I didn't see that therapist and I didn't leave England, I would be dead right now. So I consider CBT to have saved my life.


I find this story amazing. You did brilliantly moving to Beijing, and you are very brave for doing it. Would love to hear about how you are getting on in China, what you are doing out there etc. I think the way I am now, I'd be too nervous to go in the fear that it's such a different culture, different customs, laws etc, that something bad would happen, but one day I would love to go. :smile:
Original post by Nerol
CBT helped me a lot, which actually surprised me as I was pretty skeptical about the whole idea.

I was referred by my GP back in 2010, after finally seeking help for my depression (or, more honestly, after my mum forced me to go). It took me a while to get into it, because I was very closed off at the time. Ironically, I learned that the root of my problems lay in the fact that I bottled up my emotions and closed people out. Basically, in 2010, I bottled too much and finally exploded.

CBT has taught me the up-sides of talking about my problems and feelings, and also how to deal with issues in a healthy manner (rather than turning to drugs or alcohol like I used to). It has taught me to want to improve myself and given me motivation to make something of my life. Unfortunately, my trust issues with the people around me couldn't be fixed, but I remember my therapist saying to me one day, "If there really is no one around you that you can talk to or trust, why don't you get away from them?". To this day, I still have that single sentence to thank for the fact that I left England and moved to Beijing. I'm sure she didn't mean it in such a literal way, but it's the best thing I've ever done.

Right now, I have a life here that I love, I have people I trust and I'm doing well. I honestly believe that if I didn't see that therapist and I didn't leave England, I would be dead right now. So I consider CBT to have saved my life.


I'm the same. :smile:
Reply 102
Wish I could say positive things about CBT. It didn't affect me in the long run, though I only had about 4 months of it which is not that much. I went to a private counselor but had to stop because of financial reasons. I didn't feel it was intense enough and I struggle with relapse prevention.

I went to the doctors recently and they gave me Citalopram, which I haven't taken because I'm scared of the side effects. I then went to the college counselor to seek advice and he said he didn't find CBT very effective at all. :confused: He said I need to try to accept and deal with my social anxiety, not eradicate it. :/ So now I'm back where I started, though I think I am growing slowly in confidence.
Not at all. I got told to challenge every thought and to try and find "evidence" for each "irrational belief" I held about myself, but I could find proof well, "proof" for every single one of my insecurities, no matter how my therapist spun the question.

Idk. The theory of CBT is fantastic, but it didn't do much for me.
Reply 104
Mmkay. This may turn out a bit long, but i assume some context may actually be useful..

I was diagnosed with Severe depression, Anxiety and Insomnia 3 years ago (Although it's been affecting me for well over 5 years, i only went due to work pressures from my employer at the time.) and as such, was pretty much thrown from the doctors to the therapists (Although the wait list was over 6 months. Don't even get me started on that one.) who, to her credit, was rather lovely.

The actual therapy however, did nothing for me. I was put onto a string of strong anti depressants and Sleeping aids, most of which were either mild at most in their effect, utterly useless or even counter productive. (The sleeping tablets made my arms and legs go numb, made the room spin, but didn't put me to sleep. One hell of a trip, i suppose.) They said the combination of these two would do a lot of good, or at least they'd hoped it would but it really had little effect on me.

CBT however is shown to work; im not going to suggest my own failure of overcoming the issues using it discredit the therapy itself. As far as i know scientifically it's proven to be relatively effective, and a number of people i know who have had it have managed to move on with their lives.


Original post by TitanicTeutonicPhil
What is CBT?


Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. (I think?)

It's based on the idea of altering your actions and thoughts to overcome obstacles, as opposed to the more "Typical sitting on a red couch and talking about your mother" therapy. It tends to focus more on what to change as opposed to what caused it. Not always, but a lot of the time.

Hope this helped.
Original post by Nerol
Basically, in 2010, I bottled too much and finally exploded.


Similar thing happened to me too - I felt as though I wasn't allowed to feel the way I did, or to express how I was feeling. I was constantly being pushed to the brink, and one night, I just snapped. From that experience I realised how much help I needed and I realised that I needed to start thinking of myself and caring about my mental health without feeling ashamed.

Original post by Nerol
Unfortunately, my trust issues with the people around me couldn't be fixed, but I remember my therapist saying to me one day, "If there really is no one around you that you can talk to or trust, why don't you get away from them?". To this day, I still have that single sentence to thank for the fact that I left England and moved to Beijing. I'm sure she didn't mean it in such a literal way, but it's the best thing I've ever done.

Right now, I have a life here that I love, I have people I trust and I'm doing well. I honestly believe that if I didn't see that therapist and I didn't leave England, I would be dead right now. So I consider CBT to have saved my life.


Same with me - I my trust issues cannot be fixed, as much as my therapist tried to help me challenge my though processes driving the trust issues.

I might have to take that advice actually. Perhaps I have and I didn't realise it. It's one of the reasons I moved away to university, and it's one of the reasons why I am considering emigrating. I desire a fresh start after all. If I feel as though I don't have good people around me then I cut myself off and keep my distance. I was wondering, how did you find emigrating? Why China? What has it all been like?
Reply 106
Original post by Dee Leigh
Similar thing happened to me too - I felt as though I wasn't allowed to feel the way I did, or to express how I was feeling. I was constantly being pushed to the brink, and one night, I just snapped. From that experience I realised how much help I needed and I realised that I needed to start thinking of myself and caring about my mental health without feeling ashamed.



Same with me - I my trust issues cannot be fixed, as much as my therapist tried to help me challenge my though processes driving the trust issues.

I might have to take that advice actually. Perhaps I have and I didn't realise it. It's one of the reasons I moved away to university, and it's one of the reasons why I am considering emigrating. I desire a fresh start after all. If I feel as though I don't have good people around me then I cut myself off and keep my distance. I was wondering, how did you find emigrating? Why China? What has it all been like?


I found a company online that provides teaching internships in China, and it looked really good, so I decided to do that. I was placed at a school in Beijing, which I loved, and I'm still here now nearly two and a half years later.

Moving here was easy, to be honest. I don't really miss home and I have a good life here. I have a lot of good friends and a great job. I don't really know why I chose China, I guess I just wanted to be somewhere completely different. It has been absolutely fantastic and I think I'll probably end up staying here for a very long time.
Original post by Nerol
I found a company online that provides teaching internships in China, and it looked really good, so I decided to do that. I was placed at a school in Beijing, which I loved, and I'm still here now nearly two and a half years later.

Moving here was easy, to be honest. I don't really miss home and I have a good life here. I have a lot of good friends and a great job. I don't really know why I chose China, I guess I just wanted to be somewhere completely different. It has been absolutely fantastic and I think I'll probably end up staying here for a very long time.


Wow that is amazing! :smile:

I'm the same - I moved to another part of the country and I don't miss 'home' at all. I am rebuilding my life.

I am considering either living abroad for a few years, or travelling. I would love to travel to different places in the world.

How did you manage the move financially? And how did you cope with the language?
CBT didn't really help me. I just felt like my therapist was patronising me and it didn't really change anything. Everybody is different though, some will find it more useful than others :smile:
Original post by katiiiiie
CBT didn't really help me. I just felt like my therapist was patronising me and it didn't really change anything. Everybody is different though, some will find it more useful than others :smile:


Ditto.

I found the insistence that I not dwell on my past (and therefore not get the opportunity to process past trauma) rather counterproductive. I was also uncomfortable with my therapist's cult-like adoration for and practice of the discipline.

My best friend has been having CBT for years though, and swears by it. Horses for courses I suppose.


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Original post by WednesdayAddams
Ditto.

I found the insistence that I not dwell on my past (and therefore not get the opportunity to process past trauma) rather counterproductive. I was also uncomfortable with my therapist's cult-like adoration for and practice of the discipline.

My best friend has been having CBT for years though, and swears by it. Horses for courses I suppose.


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I don't like the way the therapists push you to explain every single one of your thoughts in fine detail. I just found the mind of my therapist was way too optimistic for me, and she was trying to push me to think the same as her. I can't have great feelings of all the bad things in my life straight away. And this was only in the second session.
Reply 112
Original post by Dee Leigh
Wow that is amazing! :smile:

I'm the same - I moved to another part of the country and I don't miss 'home' at all. I am rebuilding my life.

I am considering either living abroad for a few years, or travelling. I would love to travel to different places in the world.

How did you manage the move financially? And how did you cope with the language?


I actually sold my car to pay for the original trip out here, then I've been working and earning a fair bit of money, so it's quite easy to live a decent life here.

In Beijing, there's a lot of English around, so the language barrier hasn't been too tricky. I am studying Chinese though, because I would like to stay here long term.
Original post by katiiiiie
I don't like the way the therapists push you to explain every single one of your thoughts in fine detail. I just found the mind of my therapist was way too optimistic for me, and she was trying to push me to think the same as her. I can't have great feelings of all the bad things in my life straight away. And this was only in the second session.


It's almost like they're the personification of one of those popular but pushy American self-help books. That said, my therapist was a very competent woman and was very popular with many of her clients.

Although I have found the therapy rather vexing in the past (and I still don't really think it's for me), I have actually found myself unthinkingly using CBT techniques to help me in the present.


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I posted in this thread a while ago but thought I'd update as it has been sometime since then.

For context I have paranoid schizophrenia and generalised anxiety disorder and have issues with relapses which recently seem to be coming every 6 months or so.

I was started on CBT in 2011 and finished it around the middle of 2013. By the end of it though it had really just turned into a talking therapy and most of the CBT stuff was left out as we had gone over it so much there wasn't much to talk about regarding it. It's been useful in the fact that it really shows up the negative ways in which I used to look at everything (general paranoia) but my main issues are a bit more complex. When I am starting to relapse I lose all perspective on things which makes it almost impossible to use CBT techniques to help.

The difficulty with schizophrenia is that when you relapse your beliefs about what is happening are absolute. There is no need to find proof because you see proof all around you for the things that you believe in. So when I am in the midst of a relapse I tend not to use the CBT techniques as I can list proof for all of my symptoms even though they are absolutely crazy (looking back on it). Having said that CBT managed to get me through an incredibly difficult year of work which I feel really pleased about even though I did end up having to take 2 months off due to a relapse.

On the positive side I've built up a really good rapport with my therapist and find it much easier to talk about things when in the past I have tended not to talk about anything.
Original post by katiiiiie
I don't like the way the therapists push you to explain every single one of your thoughts in fine detail.


Even though CBT has worked for me, I kind of agree with this. I understand that CBT is all about challenging your thoughts, but there were certain things I said (out of concern) and she felt as though I was overthinking things and predicting, when really I wasn't.

Maybe my therapist was also optimistic? I felt that she assumed that if really serious situations occurred, then I'd be 'fine' but one cannot assume that. If I was going through something bad and I ended up feeling a certain way, I cannot guarantee I'd handle the situation well.

I'm a bit of a realist so I can't make assumptions that I'd be 'fine'. I am not Pollyana.

It is easy for one to be too optimistic should a situation occur, but if I ended up in the situation, then I may not know what to do.

Sorry if that doesn't make sense.

Original post by WednesdayAddams
I found the insistence that I not dwell on my past (and therefore not get the opportunity to process past trauma) rather counterproductive. I was also uncomfortable with my therapist's cult-like adoration for and practice of the discipline.


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I also found that she felt as though I was dwelling on things too much, hence sometimes she would try to divert the topic, rather than take on board how I felt about the issue. Then she assumed that I told her about the solutions to my issues in order to gain validation :smh: Again not true. Eventually, she finally decided to teach me a little bit about rumination techniques.

I think that CBT has about dealing with you cognitions, not your past trauma, so you don't learn about how to process trauma. My therapist suggested that I should try counselling as that will help more.



*As much as CBT helped me, there are some things about me that therapy cannot change.
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