if we are talking in the real world and not in the world of tsr (i know you will get flamed and people will say 'lose it when you are ready'), i believe it depends on your level of maturity and what your life situation is. but i would guess that the average person in the real world would find it weird if you were 20 or older and still a virgin. they would wonder why you hadnt lost it. even if your reason is 'i havent met the right person', that wont wash with most people because anyone with a normal social life will meet someone they consider to be 'right' by 20. not 'right' in the sense of marriage and kids necessarily.
i digress the only people i know who are virgins who are 20 or over have poor social skills or they fail with the opposite sex. this usually applies to guys 'cos girls can get it easy
edited: i noticed you said by choice. whoops if by choice, i dont know. i dont know any religious people who place an importance on virginity and sex. sorry
There isn't really a weird age if it's by choice. If you're waiting to have sex until you're married, then people aren't going to think you're weird for being a virgin in your late 20s, because most people won't necessarily have expected you to got married by then.
edited: i noticed you said by choice. whoops if by choice, i dont know. i dont know any religious people who place an importance on virginity and sex. sorry[/QUOTE]
No dnt think there's any need for an apology, not a religious thing. You were on the right lines before though with the 'right person' thing.
I'm 19 and most of my friends lost their virginity at 16 as you do, but I wasn't ready then and haven't been with anyone I feel anything strongly for.
I posted this thread jst to find out what ppl thought. And if I'm honest I agree with ur post. I'm starting uni this year n I jst wnted to find out if othe ppl would thing it was weird i'm still a virgin. ( not that i'm planning to volunteer that info. I'm quite a social person and I go out alot, so I'm aware that alot of ppl who know me would be really surprised I'm a virgin, ppl jst tend to assume)
put ' by choice' because as you pointed out as a girl it's not very hard to have sex if u wnt 2.
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm a Christian but thats not my reason, I mean I dnt believe that sex before marriage is wrong, but I do think that the first time atleast should be with someone I care about n trust.
Essentially, someone you might get married to
Techincally speaking, if you hit 20 then you're definitely in a statistical minority, so in that sense you're 'weird'.
Also, I don't know what people mean when they say 'you'll lose it when you're ready'. I have heard guys say this as well, so apparently not just a girl thing I thought most guys were 'ready' as soon as they'd checked their junk was in full working order
Personally, I think if you really believe in sex before marriage as a Christian, then you probably wouldn't mind the odd emotionless shag either. Being honest, I think you probably agree with the pronciple without wanting to your views to seem old and outdated.
In view of that, please don't do what some religious folks I know have done and get married at like 21/22 for the sake of getting your hole. Either just accept that casual sex is a social norm these days (plenty of company in hell ) or wait it out.
OP i'm the same really, and I've just turned 20 and finishing with my boyfriend, part of me thinks maybe it should've been him! oops. But yeah, I don't think it's weird if it's through choice but then again i'm in that situation! I do think it's weird now i'm "20" though.
I don't think it's weird (though I'm loathe to use that word) at any age. It's peculiar, I'd say that much, but I wouldn't call it weird to be a virgin at any age. I think socially it becomes unusual to still be a virgin at any age over 20, as has been mentioned previously, but I'm a virgin at 18 and I've had people shocked and confused as to why I still am.
Which brings me to my next point - it's not the whole 'waiting for the right person' thing holding me back. Casual sex isn't a concern to me as such, but I really don't want the first time to be with someone I'll likely never see again. Now that I'm at uni, it's unlikely that many girls will still be virgins, so statistically if I ever have sex, it's highly plausible it'll be with somebody who's had sex before. And for that reason, it'd be nice for it to be a meaningful moment, and it'd be nice to have them help me through it the first time. I couldn't imagine anything more traumatic than finally picking up a girl in a club, only to have her walk out after an embarrassing few minutes of sex (and that's being generous )
In short, people shouldn't have to feel pressured into losing their virginity by a certain age, although I imagine it would be harder, and probably more awkward, to lose it at an older age.