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How to lose this guy...

I had a 'thing' (as he says) with a guy over Christmas. During this time, he felt able to talk to me and revealed his problems with alcoholism and depression. I thought he was the complete opposite of this - he always seemed happy and so chilled out, but I later discovered that was aided by drugs and alcohol as well as a 'care free' attitude to life. Despite all this, I found myself falling for this guy. He was sensitive, artistic and creative, very very deep and I enjoyed my chats with him. We were opposites, but I thought opposites attract. Anyway, that ended quite badly, I still wanted to see eachother and he didn't but he was very keen on being friends. So much so, that he barely went a day without ringing or texting me and whenever I didn't text back, he thought I must be angry.
Recently, I've needed to talk to him about a few things in my life and every time I've called he's been unavailable or too drunk to talk. We had a chat about it today and he apologised for it but also made me out to appear very vulnerable and almost mental, for expecting him not to be getting wildly drunk all the time. I told him I didn't feel like we should chat anymore and we didn't really have any other relationship other than this 'thing' we once had, so we were never really friends and it's a bit hard now, as part of me does still like him. He didn't really get that, and turned on his charm and the phone call ended nicely.
My question is, how on earth am I meant to get away from this situation? I don't want to appear dramatic to him but I honestly feel like I can't be attached to him anymore and I feel if we have a friendship, I will be and I'll just feel constantly dissapointed.
Reply 1
Avatar for jooles19
jooles19
Honestly, I think your right to get away from this guy ASAP. It is true that opposites attract, but only to an extent, I.e if one person loosens up the other person and vice versa but if you are polar opposites (and it sounds as if you are) generally you will be just too different to make it work. But even just being friends sounds difficult for the two of you, friendship should be mutual but he is leaning on you for support but when you need him he is not there for you.

You can tell him straight that you don't want to be friends or see him again and tell him why. If he doesn't get the message block him on your phone and delete his number. Will you run into him at any point?
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by jooles19
Honestly, I think your right to get away from this guy ASAP. It is true that opposites attract, but only to an extent, I.e if one person loosens up the other person and vice versa but if you are polar opposites (and it sounds as if you are) generally you will be just too different to make it work. But even just being friends sounds difficult for the two of you, friendship should be mutual but he is leaning on you for support but when you need him he is not there for you.

You can tell him straight that you don't want to be friends or see him again and tell him why. If he doesn't get the message block him on your phone and delete his number. Will you run into him at any point?


Yes, we go to a lot of the same parties and since nobody knows of his difficulties to the full extent, everyone just sees him as this chilled guy who is virtually impossible to hate... I would really rather just be able to get on with it but I literally can't at the moment.
Reply 3
Avatar for jooles19
jooles19
Maybe just have some distance from him for a while. I know it's hard but if you want a clean cut from this guy not seeing him for a while is the best way possible:smile:

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