The Student Room Group

The Revamped TSR Asperger's Society!

Scroll to see replies

Reply 60
Avatar for Ivanka
Ivanka
16
Original post by Cirsium
Hi all :hi:

I worked with autistic and profoundly AS kids regularly from when I was 15, and kept wondering aloud whether I was on the spectrum due to the many many similarities I saw between them and myself, not just through the tick box signs, but also the little things I didn't know about before, like struggling to sleep without pressure, and walking on tip toes. Reassurances that because I like to read fiction and can make eye contact even though I dislike it and can hold my own in many social situations kept me from getting assessed for a long time.

Then after I graduated I worked as a personal TA for a boy with Aspergers. A boy who makes fantastic eye contact, and likes to read and bucks the trend in many ways, but is obviously an aspy. And so I finally said I wanted to get assessed. At which point my "don't worry about it" Mum said ummmmmmmm we have something to tell you. You've already been assessed. You are. We just didn't think you needed to know :rolleyes:

I tend not to mention this to many people. There are definitely plus sides to not having known that I was different in a particular way growing up. (I was obviously conscious of being socially awkward, and having a near-photographic memory for certain things, and liking order, and being personally disorganised and so on... But I just thought I was pretty weird :p:) My year working with Ben showed me just how much damage it can do to a kid being told that all their problems are because of their AS and that they're somehow pre-determined and therefore not something they have to take responsibility for. I am definitely better in social situations as a result of having to put up with the bullying and find a way through everyday life, rather than being told I could opt out. But I do have my regrets too obviously.

So yeah, that's me. Hi everyone.


:cool:

May I ask you a question? What about you and dexterity? The majority of aspies are said to be very unhandy, so I was just wondering how you've been managing lab work.
Original post by Cirsium
Hi all :hi:

Then after I graduated I worked as a personal TA for a boy with Aspergers. A boy who makes fantastic eye contact, and likes to read and bucks the trend in many ways, but is obviously an aspy. And so I finally said I wanted to get assessed. At which point my "don't worry about it" Mum said ummmmmmmm we have something to tell you. You've already been assessed. You are. We just didn't think you needed to know :rolleyes:

I tend not to mention this to many people. There are definitely plus sides to not having known that I was different in a particular way growing up. (I was obviously conscious of being socially awkward, and having a near-photographic memory for certain things, and liking order, and being personally disorganised and so on... But I just thought I was pretty weird :p:) My year working with Ben showed me just how much damage it can do to a kid being told that all their problems are because of their AS and that they're somehow pre-determined and therefore not something they have to take responsibility for. I am definitely better in social situations as a result of having to put up with the bullying and find a way through everyday life, rather than being told I could opt out. But I do have my regrets too obviously.

So yeah, that's me. Hi everyone.



Your post made me think about how I dealt with it when I was younger. I can't remember being told, so I must have known from when I was assessed (around age 7/8 I think). Mind you, I did have a lot of problems so keeping it from me would have been extremely difficult. I got a full statement and 1:1 in school and I also have big sensory problems. So I know being told was the right way forward with me. Actually, to be honest if I were to find out now that I had a condition I didn't know about, I would (metaphorically) hit the roof. I would definitely feel betrayed and extrmemely upset as well as angry. Mind you, that's just me and everyone thinks differently!

I can say that when growing up, my AS wasn't some kind of 'get out' card. I wanted more than anything to be normal. I have always put 200% into trying to emulate other people's better social skills! I was told which of my problems were because I had AS (eg. eye contact) but at the same time they found things that made me 'the same' as well :smile: I was never told I was totally different or anything like that. I can definitely see why that might end up being damaging. At the same time, it was comforting to know that no one would push me to make eye contact with them for any length of time...because really that would have been like telling a dyslexic that they could write absolutely perfectly right this second if they tried hard enough! It has taken about 10 years and my own determination to overcome my eye contact problem, not an adult pushing me. I push myself enough haha!!
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 62
Avatar for Cirsium
Cirsium
19
Original post by Ivanka
:cool:

May I ask you a question? What about you and dexterity? The majority of aspies are said to be very unhandy, so I was just wondering how you've been managing lab work.


Kinda same way I deal with most aspy things. I mean I had appalling handwriting and hand eye co ordination as a kid. But I just got yelled at by teachers for it and I'm really determined and perfectionist so I work at stuff til I get it. I'm still a big klutz but biology involves a lot of repetitive motion so I've kinda learned to be better at pipetting and stuff!
Reply 63
Avatar for Mrx123
Mrx123
18
Does anyone on here have some days where they can talk to people and have some days where your totally silent and think everyone hates you...anyone experienced this before???
Original post by SilverArch
I don't have synaesthesia, but I do know about it and I know it's more common on the Spectrum. Have you read 'Born on a Blue Day'? The author has really complex synaesthesia. I loved reading it, it was fascinating seeing how he percieved different numbers (being tall or short, and being different colours etc). If you don't mind my asking, how does it work for you (which of your senses get mixed)?

I haven't read it but will look into it! Thanks for the recommendation!

I have grapheme to colour, days of the week/months of the year/decades are all coloured. I hear colours on certain words, and I also 'see' time concepts. Someone else asked me about it, I'll find that and repost it here :yep:

Here it is:

Spoiler





I have literally walked miles round and round my room because as soon as I stopped walking I got a really strong urge to start again.

I get this. I pace around a lot, I just have to do it. I don't know why, I just enjoy it for some strange reason.

I also have a problem when walking - I can't look forwards because I don't know where my feet are going to land unless I'm looking at them. I'm don't walk in a clumsy way, but I can't sense how long my stride is and therefore where my feet will end up. I always bump into people because I don't look where I'm going!

I look down when walking too, I find it easier and I'm terribly clumsy myself (I'm convinced I'm also dyspraxic, but don't see the point in getting tested as I already access all the support :dontknow: ). I really hurt myself the other day, I walked into the corner of a road sign and my hand got smashed against the metal corner...

I've broken 14 bones due to my clumsiness in ways my friends never cease to find terribly amusing!
Reply 65
Avatar for eden
eden
12
Original post by generalebriety
What's not to love about breathing air that's 50% sweat?


Only 50% ??? They must have the windows open for fresh air on your trains then.
Reply 66
Avatar for Mrx123
Mrx123
18
Original post by eden
Only 50% ??? They must have the windows open for fresh air on your trains then.


Whenever I'm on a train, the air's warm and unbearable
Reply 67
Avatar for Slowbro93
Slowbro93
OP
20
Original post by Cirsium
Hi all :hi:

I worked with autistic and profoundly AS kids regularly from when I was 15, and kept wondering aloud whether I was on the spectrum due to the many many similarities I saw between them and myself, not just through the tick box signs, but also the little things I didn't know about before, like struggling to sleep without pressure, and walking on tip toes. Reassurances that because I like to read fiction and can make eye contact even though I dislike it and can hold my own in many social situations kept me from getting assessed for a long time.

Then after I graduated I worked as a personal TA for a boy with Aspergers. A boy who makes fantastic eye contact, and likes to read and bucks the trend in many ways, but is obviously an aspy. And so I finally said I wanted to get assessed. At which point my "don't worry about it" Mum said ummmmmmmm we have something to tell you. You've already been assessed. You are. We just didn't think you needed to know :rolleyes:

I tend not to mention this to many people. There are definitely plus sides to not having known that I was different in a particular way growing up. (I was obviously conscious of being socially awkward, and having a near-photographic memory for certain things, and liking order, and being personally disorganised and so on... But I just thought I was pretty weird :p:) My year working with Ben showed me just how much damage it can do to a kid being told that all their problems are because of their AS and that they're somehow pre-determined and therefore not something they have to take responsibility for. I am definitely better in social situations as a result of having to put up with the bullying and find a way through everyday life, rather than being told I could opt out. But I do have my regrets too obviously.

So yeah, that's me. Hi everyone.


Hello :hi:

I think this is what my problem is. Because I was always treated differently as a kid, it meant that even when I was trying to make sure I could fit in a lot of people treated me like "the special one" (so constant hugging, feeling sorry for me) and it did annoy me. But I think now that by not letting people not know initially it means that I do get treated normally and would only mention it if I know that the person's attitude won't change towards me.
Original post by bananaterracottapie
....being selective isnt only a problem when writing things down though, if a teacher asks me a very general question, i never know how to answer as i have a massive overload of ideas crowding into my head usually resulting in me mumbling "im not sure", and looking like a massive cretin :P

Yes. Me too. Hugely. :smile:
Reply 69
Avatar for Cirsium
Cirsium
19
Original post by SilverArch
I can say that when growing up, my AS wasn't some kind of 'get out' card. I wanted more than anything to be normal. I have always put 200% into trying to emulate other people's better social skills! I was told which of my problems were because I had AS (eg. eye contact) but at the same time they found things that made me 'the same' as well :smile: I was never told I was totally different or anything like that. I can definitely see why that might end up being damaging. At the same time, it was comforting to know that no one would push me to make eye contact with them for any length of time...because really that would have been like telling a dyslexic that they could write absolutely perfectly right this second if they tried hard enough! It has taken about 10 years and my own determination to overcome my eye contact problem, not an adult pushing me. I push myself enough haha!!


I wasn't trying to suggest that it was. However from having worked as a 1:1 assistant I can see how easily it can become that. It doesn't need to be everyone, or portrayed as such. The nice teacher who was the only one who understood in Year 7 can easily become the one who has to deal with bad behaviour in Year 8 because she is still understanding, while others expect higher standards. I spent a year fighting the perception that Ben was somehow incapable of controlling his outbursts or participating in group work. People thought they were being understanding when actually they were just hindering his progress. For lots of people that won't be the case, but I don't think that knowing what was different about me (I hesitate to say 'wrong') would have made it any easier to control or change it.
Original post by Cirsium
I wasn't trying to suggest that it was. However from having worked as a 1:1 assistant I can see how easily it can become that. It doesn't need to be everyone, or portrayed as such. The nice teacher who was the only one who understood in Year 7 can easily become the one who has to deal with bad behaviour in Year 8 because she is still understanding, while others expect higher standards. I spent a year fighting the perception that Ben was somehow incapable of controlling his outbursts or participating in group work. People thought they were being understanding when actually they were just hindering his progress. For lots of people that won't be the case, but I don't think that knowing what was different about me (I hesitate to say 'wrong') would have made it any easier to control or change it.



I hear you, and I understand what you're saying :smile: For me, there's a difference between how the child reacts to and undertands AS (when they know they have it) and how other adults like teachers react to and understand it. I know eventually if the adults don't push the child at all when it is needed, the child may well end up being harmed by that. But I think the problem probably starts with the other adults saying 'well, he can't help it, so I'll be understanding' rather than the child demanding understanding from them. And then the child becomes used to being different and used to not doing things so they have no motivation to do it and so on. It's difficult to know what to do I guess. If the child needs extra help, you can't hide that from teachers. And if they treat the child different, it ends up not mattering whether the child knows or not...they sense being treated differently

I can't speak for anyone else, but for me understanding why I am the way I am, has helped me. It helped me accept how I was I guess. I wasn't very accepting of my differences..I used to hate myself. At least talking about it helped me to feel better about myself. Took away the 'why why why!??'
(edited 12 years ago)
Does anyone here have any advice? Basically my school has told me flat out that they refuse to provide me with a quiet space to go when I go into overload/meltdown because "we're a large organisaton, do you expect us to provide this facility for everyone with aspergers?" They won't provide me with any support for this, so in effect they're telling me I can't come to school. My attendance is well below 70% because when I'm like this, I don't come in because I don't have anywhere to go. Advice? I've shown then guidelines from the National Autistic Society and examples of what universities provide, still nothing.

It looks as if I'm becoming quite the regular poster, you're all going to get awfully sick of me :colone:
Original post by LipstickKisses
Does anyone here have any advice? Basically my school has told me flat out that they refuse to provide me with a quiet space to go when I go into overload/meltdown because "we're a large organisaton, do you expect us to provide this facility for everyone with aspergers?" They won't provide me with any support for this, so in effect they're telling me I can't come to school. My attendance is well below 70% because when I'm like this, I don't come in because I don't have anywhere to go. Advice? I've shown then guidelines from the National Autistic Society and examples of what universities provide, still nothing.

It looks as if I'm becoming quite the regular poster, you're all going to get awfully sick of me :colone:

Can your doctor or your parents provide you with a note saying that you need one, otherwise you're not going to school?
Original post by generalebriety
Can your doctor or your parents provide you with a note saying that you need one, otherwise you're not going to school?


My mum's already been in to see them, told her the same thing even when she explained it. I haven't tried a doctors note, I could do that, thanks. :smile: They seem to have no understanding of it, one of my teachers asked to see me and started going on about Rain Man... :facepalm2:
Original post by LipstickKisses
My mum's already been in to see them, told her the same thing even when she explained it. I haven't tried a doctors note, I could do that, thanks. :smile: They seem to have no understanding of it, one of my teachers asked to see me and started going on about Rain Man... :facepalm2:

Get a doctor's note, and if that doesn't work, find out your position legally.

(To be honest, I do expect them to provide quiet spaces for everyone with Asperger's, and I expect them to provide lifts for people in wheelchairs and gluten-free food for coeliacs. I expect them to make all possible concessions, especially if they're a large organisation. And I'd have told them that.)
Original post by generalebriety
Get a doctor's note, and if that doesn't work, find out your position legally.

(To be honest, I do expect them to provide quiet spaces for everyone with Asperger's, and I expect them to provide lifts for people in wheelchairs and gluten-free food for coeliacs. I expect them to make all possible concessions, especially if they're a large organisation. And I'd have told them that.)


Thanks for the advice. :smile:

I did tell them that, I went through their equal opportunities policy and I believe I looked at part of the current law on disabilities which states "reasonable adjustments must be made", in my opinion I'm not asking for anything unreasonable. They just kept saying "But then everyone will want a room!"...they didn't seem able to make the distinction between someone without the condition. They also said "Maybe this will be learning curve and you can get over your difficulties"

:banghead:
Original post by LipstickKisses
Thanks for the advice. :smile:

I did tell them that, I went through their equal opportunities policy and I believe I looked at part of the current law on disabilities which states "reasonable adjustments must be made", in my opinion I'm not asking for anything unreasonable. They just kept saying "But then everyone will want a room!"...they didn't seem able to make the distinction between someone without the condition. They also said "Maybe this will be learning curve and you can get over your difficulties"

:banghead:

Sounds like the person you went to doesn't know anything about Asperger's. Go to someone else, preferably their direct superior.
Original post by Cirsium
Kinda same way I deal with most aspy things. I mean I had appalling handwriting and hand eye co ordination as a kid. But I just got yelled at by teachers for it


Same here.:redface: Although, it is probably a mixture of visual impairment and writing on white paper being physically painful. (it's far too bright)

Couple of questions from me:

Does anyone else here have a condition called Nystagmus? There is supposedly a link between Autism and Nystagmus. I have been given some information from National Autistic Society; but it's limited. (which may suggest that not much research has been done, I know)

Has anyone been diagnosed as an adult? Brother was diagnosed as a child and I know the process is different. I really want to know what happens. The only person I know who has sort of been diagnosed (He was told he's Autistic around 2004 and I remember him saying that they're not sure where he is on the spectrum)

Does anyone else have issues with lights? if so, how do you deal with it? Mine is getting to the stage now, where walking (only 10 - 15 minutes) in the dark brings on a lot of pain. :frown: I do wear a sunhat; (no, I don't care how silly I look in the winter when it's bloody cold) but that doesn't help me much.
Original post by OU Student
Has anyone been diagnosed as an adult? Brother was diagnosed as a child and I know the process is different. I really want to know what happens. The only person I know who has sort of been diagnosed (He was told he's Autistic around 2004 and I remember him saying that they're not sure where he is on the spectrum)


I was diagnosed as an adult. I saw a shrink for a few hours, had a chat about me, filled in a questionnaire, and at the end of one session he said it was his professional opinion that I had Asperger's. And I left. That was that.
Reply 79
Avatar for Cirsium
Cirsium
19
Original post by LipstickKisses
Does anyone here have any advice? Basically my school has told me flat out that they refuse to provide me with a quiet space to go when I go into overload/meltdown because "we're a large organisaton, do you expect us to provide this facility for everyone with aspergers?" They won't provide me with any support for this, so in effect they're telling me I can't come to school. My attendance is well below 70% because when I'm like this, I don't come in because I don't have anywhere to go. Advice? I've shown then guidelines from the National Autistic Society and examples of what universities provide, still nothing.

It looks as if I'm becoming quite the regular poster, you're all going to get awfully sick of me :colone:


Is there any one teacher or person in the LS department who's fairly sympathetic who you could go to? Sometimes all you need is one sensible adult to fight your corner for you? But yeah I'd go with doctor's note: it sounds like they don't realise how debilitating a condition it can be.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you