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The Revamped TSR Asperger's Society!

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Original post by Mess.
How would one go about being diagnosed with Aspergers and is there really any point to a diagnoses as opposed to just dealing with any issues you have?


G.P would probably be your first stop on the NHS route, if you want to go private you can book is to see a psychiatrist who can give you a better on the spot diagnosis.

I was diagnosed young after my school picked up on it but stopped any real form of treatment at around 15, recently had problems so am retuning to monthly therapy however i went around 4 years just dealing with it myself. Mainly did this because i absolutely hate therapy and wanted to avoid it at all costs, going back now because I'm getting into some bad routines that i want to break.

Its really up to you, but if you are having trouble leaving it untreated probably wont end well.
I got diagnosed by Dr Professor Skuse when I was 10. GP back then was just about the good side of useless.
Reply 142
Original post by Darth Stewie

Original post by Darth Stewie
G.P would probably be your first stop on the NHS route, if you want to go private you can book is to see a psychiatrist who can give you a better on the spot diagnosis.

I was diagnosed young after my school picked up on it but stopped any real form of treatment at around 15, recently had problems so am retuning to monthly therapy however i went around 4 years just dealing with it myself. Mainly did this because i absolutely hate therapy and wanted to avoid it at all costs, going back now because I'm getting into some bad routines that i want to break.

Its really up to you, but if you are having trouble leaving it untreated probably wont end well.


I don't really understand what somebody else could do about it though :beard: (That is if I do have it). My patterns, routines and interactions are me :holmes:
Reply 143
Original post by Mrx123
A year for me and my gf....who said someone with AS can't find love???


I just thought logically that finding love requires social interaction skills and having AS results in a lack of that so...

Plus why would girls go out with someone weird like me when they could go out with someone normal?

For these reasons I stopped trying after my diagnosis last year and have tried to get used to being alone instead. I'm getting there.

As for you and that other guy i dunno how you did it. Maybe your form is really mild.
Reply 144
Original post by Darth Stewie
G.P would probably be your first stop on the NHS route, if you want to go private you can book is to see a psychiatrist who can give you a better on the spot diagnosis.

I was diagnosed young after my school picked up on it but stopped any real form of treatment at around 15, recently had problems so am retuning to monthly therapy however i went around 4 years just dealing with it myself. Mainly did this because i absolutely hate therapy and wanted to avoid it at all costs, going back now because I'm getting into some bad routines that i want to break.

Its really up to you, but if you are having trouble leaving it untreated probably wont end well.

My favourite TSR user :smile: You make cool posts.

How did you get therapy? They gave me a psychaitrist during the diagnosis stages but after that they just left me to my own devices :frown:
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 145

Original post by Wave
I just thought logically that finding love requires social interaction skills and having AS results in a lack of that so...

Plus why would girls go out with someone weird like me when they could go out with someone normal?

For these reasons I stopped trying after my diagnosis last year and have tried to get used to being alone instead. I'm getting there.

As for you and that other guy i dunno how you did it. Maybe your form is really mild.

A lot of people like weird :dontknow: If I haven't got aspergers I damn have something else among depression and social anxiety. I don't really feel emotions or attatchments to anyone or anything and I get weirdly obsessive over things for very short periods of time, ignoring people completely. Yet I have rarely been without a girlfriend over the past 7 years. One relationship lasting for 3 years and the current one being 2 and a half years in with 8 months or so actually living together alone.
You just need to find the right people.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 146
Original post by kerily
They do exist, you know :wink: I've had a large variety of relationships. (... none of them have lasted more than a year or so, mind, but I've still had a fair few relationships!)


Lucky you.
Original post by Mess.
I don't really understand what somebody else could do about it though :beard: (That is if I do have it). My patterns, routines and interactions are me :holmes:


Pretty much my attitude, they aren't miracle workers however having someone trained to spot anti-social habits can be useful in helping you to deal with social situations.

Personally I'm going back because i am developing bad social habits such as ignoring people when they talk or walking away before a conversation is finished without realizing so hopefully the sessions will help combat that, it really depends on if your routines or interactions are having a negative social effect and on what scale, not gonna lie having to chance routines is infuriating especially because its to benefit other people however fitting into society is required in life and unfortunately its something you may always find difficult.
Reply 148
Original post by Wave
As for you and that other guy i dunno how you did it. Maybe your form is really mild.


I'm not mild :teehee: There's no perfect way of assessing the 'mildness' of someone's AS, but I scored pretty much maximum points on all the diagnostic scales when I got my diagnosis and spent a lot of time as a child just not talking, so there we go.

My strategy is basically just unbridled extroversion. I am incredibly extroverted; I don't know why, because I have no idea whatsoever how to socialise and **** it up incredibly often, but I basically approach every social situation like an over-enthusiastic puppy about to be walked for the first time in days. Some women like this. Most don't, obviously, but some of them, if they think you're 'interesting' or 'sensitive' or 'different' or whatever, will go for that.

(Plus, online dating exists! Don't think match.com - think discussion forums, Aspie forums etc, where you are BOUND to meet like-minded people. My best relationship was with an autistic girl.)
Reply 149
Original post by Darth Stewie

Original post by Darth Stewie
Pretty much my attitude, they aren't miracle workers however having someone trained to spot anti-social habits can be useful in helping you to deal with social situations.

Personally I'm going back because i am developing bad social habits such as ignoring people when they talk or walking away before a conversation is finished without realizing so hopefully the sessions will help combat that, it really depends on if your routines or interactions are having a negative social effect and on what scale, not gonna lie having to chance routines is infuriating especially because its to benefit other people however fitting into society is required in life and unfortunately its something you may always find difficult.


God I hated therapy! Went for depression and it pissed me off being told what I already knew from a pop psycology postcard. I appreciate they aren't miracle workers and that they do need help but they could at least give some insight!

I do get your point about an outside eye on things but I kind of know what I am doing wrong but I still can't care about it :dontknow: To me, I just cannot grasp why somebody gets upset about being told an honest answer to a question they asked or why a straighforward and short answer would be the bad way to go as opposed to some flowery nonsense that takes them days to decipher.

I am always unsure whether its because I'm incompetent at social interactions that I get annoyed or because I find others too incompetent through their neediness to bother actually trying to hold their hands through life.

:holmes:
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Wave
My favourite TSR user :smile: You make cool posts.

How did you get therapy? They gave me a psychaitrist during the diagnosis stages but after that they just left me to my own devices :frown:


Thanks :smile:

My therapy is private and has already taken a chunk out of my wallet, think NHS therapy is pretty hard to get onto if your not suicidal, the Manchester trust has a waiting list of over 6 months. Your GP can make the first steps in getting you on the list however different trusts do it in different ways so might need to contact your local NHS office to confirm that.

I had a really good Psychiatrist when i was diagnosed, unfortunately my situation was like yours and after the diagnosis confirmation i couldn't see her anymore :frown: suppose general therapy is a bit of a waste of a consultants skills.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 151
Original post by Mess.
A lot of people like weird :dontknow: If I haven't got aspergers I damn have something else among depression and social anxiety. I don't really feel emotions or attatchments to anyone or anything and I get weirdly obsessive over things for very short periods of time, ignoring people completely. Yet I have rarely been without a girlfriend over the past 7 years. One relationship lasting for 3 years and the current one being 2 and a half years in with 8 months or so actually living together alone.
You just need to find the right people.


You know you are right it cant be my AS alone. because I go to these social groups for people with AS and a lot of them have been in relationships. Even the ultra weird ones :confused:. I'm not even that strange compared to some people yet I have a remarkably non-existent track record when it comes to relationships. I don't look bad, I dress well (people always praise me on my dress sense) and I'm hardly the weirdest guy on the block (I try my hardest to not do anything "weird" these days. I have no explanation.
Reply 152

Original post by Wave
You know you are right it cant be my AS alone. because I go to these social groups for people with AS and a lot of them have been in relationships. Even the ultra weird ones :confused:. I'm not even that strange compared to some people yet I have a remarkably non-existent track record when it comes to relationships. I don't look bad, I dress well (people always praise me on my dress sense) and I'm hardly the weirdest guy on the block (I try my hardest to not do anything "weird" these days. I have no explanation.


Perhaps the trying hard not to do anything weird is coming across as weird? People seem a lot accepting of somebody who embraces their weirdness as opposed to one who tries to hide as they think it is the correct thing. (Obviously this is within reason as if your weirdness is things like trying to scratch through brick then thats something to hide :h: ). I obsessively scratch myself when I am anxious but the people who know me just work me through it as opposed to scaring them off.

Perhaps I have just been lucky in the people that I have met, however I don't really have many friends as it causes me too panic too much. Perhaps you are spreading yourself a bit thin and need to focus your social life a bit more?
Original post by Mess.
God I hated therapy! Went for depression and it pissed me off being told what I already knew from a pop psycology postcard. I appreciate they aren't miracle workers and that they do need help but they could at least give some insight!

I do get your point about an outside eye on things but I kind of know what I am doing wrong but I still can't care about it :dontknow: To me, I just cannot grasp why somebody gets upset about being told an honest answer to a question they asked or why a straighforward and short answer would be the bad way to go as opposed to some flowery nonsense that takes them days to decipher.

I am always unsure whether its because I'm incompetent at social interactions that I get annoyed or because I find others to incompetent through their neediness to bother actually trying to hold their hands through life.

:holmes:


urgh i know what you mean, if someone gets upset i do whatever i can to avoid them but that is just as bad. Really get frustrated sometimes because i just can't workout what to do.

Was in a pharmacy today and the dispenser came out and told a man who was waiting that his drugs would be another 10 minutes and he practically had a fit. I get he may have been frustrated but shouting at the employees accomplished nothing, if anything it slowed them down and extended his wait time. Don't understand how i am meant to act in this kind of situation, I've been told to avoid eye contact and attempt to look preoccupied on my phone but it just frustrates me how people act and how i am meant to adjust to the situation.

I honestly have no more incite on how to deal with people that you do, was told when i was younger to try and derail questions i didn't know how to answer in a socially correct way, for instance the example they gave was "do you think X is stupid?" and the answer they told us to say was something like "who is X? is he friends with Y?" so you can change the line of questioning without giving a distinct answer to the original socially awkward one.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 154
Original post by Darth Stewie

Original post by Darth Stewie
urgh i know what you mean, if someone gets upset i do whatever i can to avoid them but that is just as bad. Really get frustrated sometimes because i just can't workout what to do.

Was in a pharmacy today and the dispenser came out and told a man who was waiting that his drugs would be another 10 minutes and he practically had a fit. I get he may have been frustrated but shouting at the employees accomplished nothing, if anything it slowed them down and extended his wait time. Don't understand how i am meant to act in this kind of situation, I've been told to avoid eye contact and attempt to look preoccupied on my phone but it just frustrates me how people act and how i am meant to adjust to the situation.

I honestly have no more incite on how to deal with people that you do, was told when i was younger to try and derail questions i didn't know how to answer, for instance the example they gave was "do you think X is stupid?" and the answer they told us to say was something like "who is X? is he friends with Y?" so you change the topic without giving a distinct answer.


I try and do the thing you say at the bottom but as (I think you) said earlier, it is a taught reaction by people I know telling me 'x' isn't acceptable as to me understanding what I did was unacceptable and noticing at the time. However, I will still be 100% direct if they ask me a question about themselves, if they don't want the answer they shouldn't ask the question.

Those situations with the shouting man are pathetic, I've sometimes tried to explain to people like that, that they are being ridiculous and causing more problems but I've recently deicded to go everywhere with headphones in so I can ignore idiocy to a greater extent.

I think the thing I find most annoying is not being flexible in a situation, if it is going as I believe it should be then I just freeze, become embarassed and discet it and basically tear myself a new one for hours, days, weeks, months, years later :sigh:
Original post by Mess.
I try and do the thing you say at the bottom but as (I think you) said earlier, it is a taught reaction by people I know telling me 'x' isn't acceptable as to me understanding what I did was unacceptable and noticing at the time. However, I will still be 100% direct if they ask me a question about themselves, if they don't want the answer they shouldn't ask the question.

Those situations with the shouting man are pathetic, I've sometimes tried to explain to people like that, that they are being ridiculous and causing more problems but I've recently deicded to go everywhere with headphones in so I can ignore idiocy to a greater extent.

I think the thing I find most annoying is not being flexible in a situation, if it is going as I believe it should be then I just freeze, become embarassed and discet it and basically tear myself a new one for hours, days, weeks, months, years later :sigh:


One common one i get for the direct question problem is "does this look OK?" in reference to someones work, there is NO way to answer that correctly if their work is incorrect. If you say yes then they seem to get offended, if you say no then they will suffer reduced marks. I always say yes but it seems completely unfair that they then get upset at me for helping them do better.

I just try and ignore the situations, don't understand how i have a psychological disorder yet people acting like rabid baboons over such a minor inconvenience is seen as normal.

If i ever get a question wrong i just can't stop thinking about it, not too bothered by social situations unless i get told by people i was rude and have no idea why. Still think about a question on my GCSE maths paper that required you to work out how many triangles were in a larger triangle, i put 5 and after i worked out it was 6. Drives me mad.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 156
Original post by Mess.
Perhaps the trying hard not to do anything weird is coming across as weird? People seem a lot accepting of somebody who embraces their weirdness as opposed to one who tries to hide as they think it is the correct thing.

Hmm this could be true. I guess I have made myself a come across a little dull by hiding the things I like. For instance at school the bullies taught me to keep quiet about liking jazz. To this day even when obviously nobody cares I am still extremely embarrassed to say I like jazz. The memory is still there.

And I did make a friend at uni via my obsessiveness over amateur maths so you may have a point.


Original post by Mess.
Perhaps I have just been lucky in the people that I have met, however I don't really have many friends as it causes me too panic too much. Perhaps you are spreading yourself a bit thin and need to focus your social life a bit more?

My social life is pretty crap too. I am forever trying to work out whether the small number of "friends" I have like me or not. I have a planned experiment. I wont contact any for a month and Ill wait and see if anyone bothers to contact me within that period. If no one does I'm deleting my fb and changing my number.
Reply 157
Original post by kerily
I'm not mild :teehee: There's no perfect way of assessing the 'mildness' of someone's AS, but I scored pretty much maximum points on all the diagnostic scales when I got my diagnosis and spent a lot of time as a child just not talking, so there we go.

My strategy is basically just unbridled extroversion. I am incredibly extroverted; I don't know why, because I have no idea whatsoever how to socialise and **** it up incredibly often, but I basically approach every social situation like an over-enthusiastic puppy about to be walked for the first time in days. Some women like this. Most don't, obviously, but some of them, if they think you're 'interesting' or 'sensitive' or 'different' or whatever, will go for that.

(Plus, online dating exists! Don't think match.com - think discussion forums, Aspie forums etc, where you are BOUND to meet like-minded people. My best relationship was with an autistic girl.)

Have you managed to make any friends at UCL so far? I failed so terribly that I dare not show my face there during daytime (got a gazillion people who dislike me there). If you see a guy in cycle gear with his face completely covered walking around campus then that is probs me. I been hiding from my chem class and former hallmates since last year. I wonder if they have noticed my disappearance because I completely disappeared. They didnt see me taking exams because I did them in the special facility so they won't think it's because I failed. So yeah I just completely vanished since the last lecture back in April.
Reply 158

Original post by Wave
Hmm this could be true. I guess I have made myself a come across a little dull by hiding the things I like. For instance at school the bullies taught me to keep quiet about liking jazz. To this day even when obviously nobody cares I am still extremely embarrassed to say I like jazz. The memory is still there.

And I did make a friend at uni via my obsessiveness over amateur maths so you may have a point.



My social life is pretty crap too. I am forever trying to work out whether the small number of "friends" I have like me or not. I have a planned experiment. I wont contact any for a month and Ill wait and see if anyone bothers to contact me within that period. If no one does I'm deleting my fb and changing my number.


:rofl: It is amazing speaking to people and finding that despite you believing your own thought process to be weird, they have the exact same one, so we can't all be weird :h:

Jazz is pretty interesting and cool, **** the bullies and express your enjoyment of jazz! You never know, it might be the making of you in a social sense :smile:

I wouldn't do your experiment though, I'm as paranoid as the next person and I love my own company but you should try to keep some sort of outside life, even if youonly feel it to be superficial. You really don't want to isolate yourself and become out of practice in terms of social situations, especially if a situations turns up that you could really excel in.

Are there any jazz clubs near you? Perhaps ask a friend or family member to go with you? Or even go by yourself for a short period, an hour or so just so you can become familiar with the room.
(edited 12 years ago)
Reply 159
Original post by Mess.


Jazz is pretty interesting and cool, **** the bullies and express your enjoyment of jazz! You never know, it might be the making of you in a social sense :smile:

Thanks :smile: If I learn to play an instrument maybe I can join the uni jazz band when I return or something (on a year out)

Original post by Mess.
I wouldn't do your experiment though, I'm as paranoid as the next person and I love my own company but you should try to keep some sort of outside life, even if youonly feel it to be superficial. You really don't want to isolate yourself and become out of practice in terms of social situations, especially if a situations turns up that you could really excel in.

Yeah I was thinking this too. I guess they have legit reasons for being distant (uni work and all that). But my social life really does seem soo superficial :smile: I figured that it would be less depressing to have none at all rather than a really **** one. It's just that anger that builds up from having those people in my phonebook claiming to be my friend and never talking to me.

Original post by Mess.
Are there any jazz clubs near you? Perhaps ask a friend or family member to go with you? Or even go by yourself for a short period, an hour or so just so you can become familiar with the room.

Well I live in London so there's loads. However I am not in contact with any of my family and none of my friends like jazz.
(edited 12 years ago)

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