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Why are some muslim men so obsessed with virginity?

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    I know this sounds like a stupid question but i have seen so many muslim guys who are absolutely crazy about marrying a virgin. I mean ok it makes sense when you are young and a virgin yourself but I have seen some really old 50-60 yr old guys who would like to marry a 16 year old girl just because of the virginity issue. In many muslim countries widows do not get married because of this even if they are young and do not have any children.

    Someone also said that women who are not virgins are used goods and no one wants used stuff why doesn't the same apply for men.

    I for one am really offended by this used goods concept
    i mean not all of the prophet(pbuh) wives were virgins either were they.
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    I'm no expert (RS GCSE) but is it not something to do with being pure for the man, proving your dedication etc.. a bit similar to why the bride would wear white (for a Christian wedding)..?
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    (Original post by runtoyou)
    I know this sounds like a stupid question but i have seen so many muslim guys who are absolutely crazy about marrying a virgin. I mean ok it makes sense when you are young and a virgin yourself but I have seen some really old 50-60 yr old guys who would like to marry a 16 year old girl just because of the virginity issue. In many muslim countries widows do not get married because of this even if they are young and do not have any children.

    Someone also said that women who are not virgins are used goods and no one wants used stuff why doesn't the same apply for men.

    I for one am really offended by this used goods concept
    i mean not all of the prophet(pbuh) wives were virgins either were they.
    yeah the prophet peace be upon him did marry widows, but if you haven't been married before then i guess it's wanted as it shows dedication to your faith
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    Because Islam hasn't left the Middle Ages yet?
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    (Original post by runtoyou)
    I know this sounds like a stupid question but i have seen so many muslim guys who are absolutely crazy about marrying a virgin. I mean ok it makes sense when you are young and a virgin yourself but I have seen some really old 50-60 yr old guys who would like to marry a 16 year old girl just because of the virginity issue. In many muslim countries widows do not get married because of this even if they are young and do not have any children.

    Someone also said that women who are not virgins are used goods and no one wants used stuff why doesn't the same apply for men.

    I for one am really offended by this used goods concept
    i mean not all of the prophet(pbuh) wives were virgins either were they.
    I am sure not all Muslim men are like this, assuming your points are valid.
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    Unless they are some religious virgin - then i guess it is fair.

    But if they are hypocrites and have slept around - they're stupid.
    Do they not understand that they have popped various cherries, and that this means they are no longer a virgin and a 'muslim' guy wouldn't want to marry her?

    The whole virginity thing is stupid. If a guy loves you, he won't care how many magic sticks have been through the gates of life or should i say gates of pleasure for the people of the 21st century?

    Losing your virginity outside marriage is looked down upon but who is gonna know unless you are a bait slut!? LOL my awkward 'badman language' coming out.

    In my country divorced women get remarried and have even more children! I think it also depends on culture and etc.
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    For the same reason that Catholics aren't meant to have sex before marraige, religions are obsessed with purity and sin etc.
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    Because virgins are tighter.

    I think most men, given the choice, will pick a virgin, due to this misconception that virgins are tighter (I haven't yet found this to be true, but still).
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    Its not really a theological belief (as you pointed out, the Prophet married mostly widows and divorcees) but more of a cultural one.

    I'm of Pakistani ethnicity and from experience, this belief is pretty popular in the subcontinent; take the extreme example of the wives of Rajput warriors who would burn themselves if their husbands died.

    It's backward and wrong.
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    This has nothing to do with religion... This is all cultural thing.
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    (Original post by JustBorn)
    This has nothing to do with religion... This is all cultural thing.
    I'm sorry, but this has everything to do with religion. Do you honestly think the belief would be there if these religions didn't put so much emphasis on purity, saving yourself for marriage etc?

    Especially in Islam where a woman is not even supposed to talk to man without a chaperone present, where both sexes much avert their eyes from each other and so forth.

    Yes, some aspects of it are cultural, but to say it's nothing to do with religion is ridiculous.
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    (Original post by JustBorn)
    This has nothing to do with religion... This is all cultural thing.
    Stop trying to kid yourself
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    because they are regarded as 'used goods'
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    Usually it is ignorance.

    The Prophet(pbuh) said that a man would marry a woman based on 4 things; Her beauty, her wealth, her peity and her character. He said to choose the one with the Peity.
    When he was just 25, he married a widow named Khadija(ra) who was 40 years old. This relationship remained monogamous till Khadija(ra) passed away. In 7th century context, this was quite remarkable, even in todays society you don't see it happen often.

    Although there's nothing wrong with marrying a virgin, you shouldn't simply limit yourself to that. It is indeed a Sunnah of the Prophet(pbuh) that he married not just widows (non-virgins) but also those that were alot older than he was.

    (Original post by Nick1sHere)
    Stop trying to kid yourself
    Follow your own advice, most of Muhammad(pbuh)'s wives were widows.

    And fyi Islam came as a protection especially to widows -

    The pagan Arabs before Islam had similar practices. A widow was considered a part of her husband's property to be inherited by his male heirs and she was, usually, given in marriage to the deceased man's eldest son from another wife. The Quran scathingly attacked and abolished this degrading custom:



    "And marry not women whom your fathers married--Except what is past-- it was shameful, odious, and abominable custom indeed" (Quran 4:22).


    "When you divorce women and they fulfil their terms [three menstruation periods] either take them back on equitable terms or set them free on equitable terms; But do not take them back to injure them or to take undue advantage, If anyone does that, he wrongs his own soul. Do not treat Allah's signs as a jest" (Quran 2:231)
    etc.
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    (Original post by runtoyou)
    I know this sounds like a stupid question but i have seen so many muslim guys who are absolutely crazy about marrying a virgin. I mean ok it makes sense when you are young and a virgin yourself but I have seen some really old 50-60 yr old guys who would like to marry a 16 year old girl just because of the virginity issue. In many muslim countries widows do not get married because of this even if they are young and do not have any children.

    Someone also said that women who are not virgins are used goods and no one wants used stuff why doesn't the same apply for men.

    I for one am really offended by this used goods concept
    i mean not all of the prophet(pbuh) wives were virgins either were they.
    only one of the prophets wives was a virgin, Aisha (ra)
    and may I point out that this is NOTHING to do with muslim men, infact it's everything to do with Arab men
    I'm arab myself and yes it's true they do have an obbsession with virginity especially oldies, I don't know the real reason behind it... but it has no basis in religion
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    (Original post by runtoyou)
    I know this sounds like a stupid question but i have seen so many muslim guys who are absolutely crazy about marrying a virgin. I mean ok it makes sense when you are young and a virgin yourself but I have seen some really old 50-60 yr old guys who would like to marry a 16 year old girl just because of the virginity issue. In many muslim countries widows do not get married because of this even if they are young and do not have any children.

    Someone also said that women who are not virgins are used goods and no one wants used stuff why doesn't the same apply for men.

    I for one am really offended by this used goods concept
    i mean not all of the prophet(pbuh) wives were virgins either were they.
    Because it demonstrates, in a way, how religious the girl actually is. It actually ties in with the point made earlier when the Prophet Muhammad advised Muslims that the best quality to look for when it comes to marriage is piety.

    Therefore, it could be said that a girl who is a virgin obviously is adhering to God's command and would support her husband from going astray and in time, would be successful as a family unit.
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    (Original post by Callum828)
    Because Islam hasn't left the Middle Ages yet?
    it's not just a "Muslim" obsession

    in Southern Europe (Spain, Southern Italy, Greece etc) the bride's virginity was an issue until the 19sixties - sometimes you had even the ritual of the exhibition of bloodied bedsheets at the window after the first night... considering that on average only about 40% of women bleed at their first intercourse, there must have been lots of cheating going on

    what is interesting is that the hymen did not disappear through evolution, so its presence obviously increased individual chances at reproduction - we are here dealing with deeply ingrained behaviours

    however, also some other mammals have hymens, such as chimpanzees, elephants, whales, and horses

    do elephants also give importance to virginity ?
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    I agree, it's ridiculous hypocricy in some cases. I recently went to Egypt and spoke with someone who had no problem sleeping with tourists, yet will only accept an Egyptian virgin woman for his wife. I had a massive rant at him about it and I think I scared him abit! Fair enough if the man has saved himself, but if I was a woman who had to save myself for marriage I would expect the same of my husband!
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    Whatever you do, ladies, don't die and go to Heaven a virgin; the Muslim terrorists will be waiting for you.
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    (Original post by *Dreaming*)
    I agree, it's ridiculous hypocricy in some cases. I recently went to Egypt and spoke with someone who had no problem sleeping with tourists, yet will only accept an Egyptian virgin woman for his wife. I had a massive rant at him about it and I think I scared him abit! Fair enough if the man has saved himself, but if I was a woman who had to save myself for marriage I would expect the same of my husband!
    I think it is a problem in Egypt. There was a man indecently touching my sister there, Wasn't happy about it.

    What shocked me more was that he had a full beard, Islamic clothing and hat and so on etc.. Would look like a professor at Al Ahzar any other day.



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Updated: November 7, 2013
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