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Kinks at Uni of Exeter - Philosophy and Italian

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    Hey, I'm Jaz. Perhaps it's a bit late to start a blog here, but oh well. I love writing, so why not?

    I changed from doing straight Philosophy to doing a combined honours at the beginning of last term. Straight Philosophy would have done my head in and I've always loved learning languages so taking up Italian seemed like a good idea. It makes my degree easier in some sense; being fluent in Spanish and having a qualification in French as well helps loads.

    The first term was full of ups and and downs, mostly the latter. The girl that lives opposite me honestly has it in for me. She's out to make my life hell because the fact that I'm alive seems to piss her right off. I refuse to change who I am just because someone doesn't like me. It's not like I chose to be in this corridor with her. I think it's pretty pathetic, given that she's 20 and she should know better. I'm actually the youngest person in my block. I'm in an en-suite double bed accommodation which the uni usually gives to those who have done gap years or are older; only the lucky ones get to go straight from school to this accommodation. Sometimes I think I'd be better off elsewhere because there's a certain snobbiness in these halls. Yes, they are expensive...but why should budget dictate how you treat someone? I'm lucky in the sense that my parents are paying for my degree and everything else, but I am actually the poorest person in the block too. Unfortunately, the Exeter stereotype really does prevail and I'm pretty much an outcast.

    I don't really mind, though. I'd rather be an individual. I do have a few lovely friends whom I regularly see. Last Friday, we had a sangria party in my flat, which was hilarious. I really can't wait to see them all again this Sunday. There's a new night being launched in Arena, one of the clubs, so we're pre-drinking in their flat and I'm baking a cake as it's my best uni friend's birthday the day before and I'm known as 'chef extraordinaire' here :P

    My love life is turbulent. I had a casual relationship with one of my friends simply because it was convenient and we're both single. He says he has no feelings for me, but gets jealous and bitchy when I'm with other guys. He's lovely, he's a good friend...but he's just confusing and somewhat insulting at times. Too arrogant. Still, we continue to hang out. I've made it clear that whilst sex is great, it's not what I need right now. Okay, I need it, but I deserve more. I am actively looking for a potential relationship and his jealousy and needing to be with me exclusively when we go clubbing really isn't helping the situation. There's a guy in my new class that I adore like mad. Absolutely gorgeous and a real laugh. Met him at a club last week and we got on really well, but it's all early days. There's also another guy in my other class, but I'm not sure whether he's straight or not. Perhaps bi. I don't know, only time will tell.

    I go to the gym almost every day. Today I decided not to. My body needed the rest and quite frankly, I know that if I did go, it would just be to quieten the insecurities in my mind. I really have nothing to be insecure about, but sometimes I just have one of those days.

    I've just realised how there's a severe lack of studying in my life. Oh well, life is too short! It's my fresher year. If there's one thing I've learnt from life, exams and studying really don't matter that much

    I'll update soon. x
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    I pretty much broke down last night. I had an awful day. I wanted to go out in the evening to cheer myself up but couldn't go because I simply don't have enough friends to go with. The guy I've been seeing/not is one of my closest friends but he wanted a lads' night out, so fair enough. My other friends don't go out. So I just stayed in and called my mum.

    I love my mum, but I feel like we're drifting apart as I become more responsible and more of an adult every day. Before, I used to think she knew best, but it's evident that she doesn't. I hate how she belittles my problems because these things are affecting me on a daily basis to a large extent.

    I haven't gone to the gym again today. It would have been too much of a rush. I have a new personal tutor that I have to meet at 11am and I'm exhausted anyway. Lately, my insomnia has been getting worse. What didn't help was the bitch opposite yelling and screaming when she came in drunk. I would love to just punch her one day. How can you be so inconsiderate? At 3am, people in halls are generally asleep. Even if I've been out on a bender, I try to be quiet!

    2 hours of Italian today, can't wait! I do love that class, although the work is boring at times because it's too easy. I also have a social tonight with Gender Equality. We're just going for some drinks but it's important that I go. x
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    Hmm thats interesting lol. Im gunna do philosopht and political econony next year at exeter. what accomodation are you in?
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    (Original post by qwerty1993)
    Hmm thats interesting lol. Im gunna do philosopht and political econony next year at exeter. what accomodation are you in?
    I'm in Rowe House it's en suite double bed. What accommodation are you thinking of applying for? Ahh I know people that do PPE -- looks so hard!
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    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    I'm in Rowe House it's en suite double bed. What accommodation are you thinking of applying for? Ahh I know people that do PPE -- looks so hard!

    Oh I see. I havnt even looked at rowe house :s. I'm thinking lafrowda ensure self catered... Not too sure yet. I know this might sound wierd but are there many Arabs there? Because ive heard so many people say its not culturally diverse.
    Also how come it looks hard??? :s
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    (Original post by qwerty1993)
    Oh I see. I havnt even looked at rowe house :s. I'm thinking lafrowda ensure self catered... Not too sure yet. I know this might sound wierd but are there many Arabs there? Because ive heard so many people say its not culturally diverse.
    Also how come it looks hard??? :s
    Rowe House is one of the ones everyone tries to get because it's pretty good standard but it is expensive; it's still cheaper than a lot of other places though. Lafrowda is the cheapest, I think. It's opposite Rowe anyway. Are you Arab? There's like no diversity apart from the international students, but they all keep to themselves and they get a lot of racism too. Exeter is quite racist.
    Well, it's loads of work!
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    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    Rowe House is one of the ones everyone tries to get because it's pretty good standard but it is expensive; it's still cheaper than a lot of other places though. Lafrowda is the cheapest, I think. It's opposite Rowe anyway. Are you Arab? There's like no diversity apart from the international students, but they all keep to themselves and they get a lot of racism too. Exeter is quite racist.
    Well, it's loads of work!
    Oh i see... Hmm i might look into that. yh i am palestinian and ive heard its pretty racist ah well ill slice it up a lil haha. but hows the nightlife.. as in clubs?? is it also as bad as people say it is..
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    Today was rubbish. I ended up sleeping in, which definitely wasn't the plan, so all my day got pushed back. I went to the gym though, which was so much fun. I love exercising and working out. It just sets me up for the whole day.

    I had to go into town to get some ingredients for the birthday cake I'm making for predrinks on Sunday night. I ended up buying some essentials too like washing up liquid and about a million yoghurts because they were on offer. They're technically essential given my calcium diet. Well, it's not a diet -- I'm not trying to lose weight -- but I'm worried about the state of my bones so I'm trying to up it to get 100% of the RDA for women.

    I do love Thursdays. I love having a day off in the middle of the week to get other stuff done. To be honest, I have been cheeky this week. I took yesterday off and didn't go to any lectures because I was having a really awful, depressing day where I just wanted to be a recluse (which is precisely what I did).

    I'm really looking forward to tomorrow, though. I have a 9.30am start with such a legend of a lecturer. Then I'm heading off to the gym, coming home, freshening up and going to the Refreshers Fair for some freebies! More importantly, my almost-bf-but-not is spending the night. I've already bought in a bottle of wine for tomorrow night but I'm thinking he needs to start providing some booze too. I did bake him a cake, after all. May text him and tell him to get a bottle. Anyway, the general plan is for him to come over and we'll snuggle up with a movie and a bottle of wine. Good times
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    (Original post by qwerty1993)
    Oh i see... Hmm i might look into that. yh i am palestinian and ive heard its pretty racist ah well ill slice it up a lil haha. but hows the nightlife.. as in clubs?? is it also as bad as people say it is..
    Like actually from Palestine or England but with Palestinian heritage? If you're English you probably won't feel the racism too much unless you look brown. It seems that brown people get picked on a lot. Blacks don't and other races (like Latin American etc) don't either, just browns.

    The nightlife isn't too bad but it really depends on what you expect. I come from just outside London so I was expecting it to be similar -- dressing up and wearing your finest, but it isn't. I have to say, I don't like student nights out and I prefer going to clubs on nights when I know there are going to be more locals around. Student guys are jerks and the girls are rather bitchy. But if you're looking to get completely wasted, you'll enjoy student club nights.
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    (Original post by jazzykinks)
    Like actually from Palestine or England but with Palestinian heritage? If you're English you probably won't feel the racism too much unless you look brown. It seems that brown people get picked on a lot. Blacks don't and other races (like Latin American etc) don't either, just browns.

    The nightlife isn't too bad but it really depends on what you expect. I come from just outside London so I was expecting it to be similar -- dressing up and wearing your finest, but it isn't. I have to say, I don't like student nights out and I prefer going to clubs on nights when I know there are going to be more locals around. Student guys are jerks and the girls are rather bitchy. But if you're looking to get comppletely wasted, you'll enjoy student club nights.
    Oh i live here with palestinian hertitage. im not brown though... sort of latino tanned skin. Oh i see. i love clubbing but i dont drink so im in trouble lol. Overall do u recommend it? Its this or manchester :s have fun on sunday btw
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    (Original post by qwerty1993)
    Oh i live here with palestinian hertitage. im not brown though... sort of latino tanned skin. Oh i see. i love clubbing but i dont drink so im in trouble lol. Overall do u recommend it? Its this or manchester :s have fun on sunday btw
    Oh, if you're not brown then you'll be fine. People will think you're just exotic and it may work in your favour. It does for me; I'm just tanned really, I've never been a victim of racism or anything and people like it!

    Manchester is a million times better for clubbing. Also, it's not elitist like Exeter. In Exeter, the bigger your bank balance, the more popular you are. Everyone's like a clone here, except for the people in Lafrowda, they're cool. It's a decent uni though but it depends on what you want.

    And you'll find you probably do end up drinking here...some nights you really have to in order to survive in the clubs! There's one club called Rococo's which is diabolical unless you have a few first!

    Cheers
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    Hey guys

    My eyes are so sore. Note to all contact lens wearers: wearing contact lenses from 12pm to 6am is aesthetically a fantastic idea but that, coupled with sleeping in them until 1pm, is not going to be good for your eyes. I may have to sit here with some cold teabags.

    Yes, last night was good. The club was average and didn't deliver, but I met up with the bf and it was all good. We ended up getting cheesy chips on the way home because he's always hungry, came back and stayed up until ridiculous o clock. There was one point when we were considering pulling an all nighter because we could hear birds chirping away. We pretty much passed out at that point.

    I have had the most unproductive day ever but I feel beautiful and I'm glowing, therefore it has been a great day.

    Have to sort out the bitchiness in the hall this evening. Not looking forward to this...
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    The meeting with the mentor never happened. There was some sort of droning concert going on where we were supposed to meet so we re-scheduled it for tomorrow at 8pm which actually suits me a lot more.

    I was supposed to have 3 1/2 hours of Italian today. I didn't go. I wasn't with it today; mentally, I was on lockdown. I spent the day shopping but went to the gym first. I was also supposed to get my hair coloured and cut but my hairdresser had to change the appointment for Friday, which suits me so much better as I'm seeing the bf on Friday so I'll look all perfect for him...though for some insane reason he thinks I'm gorgeous when my hair is like a bush and I haven't got a scrap of make up on. Men. I will never understand them.

    I also decided to book in a squash session. It's an antisocial sport which doesn't require a partner. This is ideal considering none of my friends are very physically active and wouldn't ever join me.

    I should catch up on work. I really should. I will. Just not now, not today. Perhaps I'll be more 'with it' tomorrow considering I will actually go to my classes. My new year's resolution really should have been to attend my classes...but I'd only fail on it. At least my actual NYR has been a success. It was to cut out the poisonous people in my life and never contact them, no matter how hard the temptation may be to resist.

    Anyway, I had to buy Valentine's gifts. I never knew it could be so hard. There's so many cards. I spent a good 40 minutes in the card shop trying to find an adequate one. Nothing too sexual. Nothing too strong because we haven't been together long. So difficult! It was a happy experience though. I've never been taken on Valentine's day. I love receiving gifts and such but I can't believe I got so high on being able to give gifts. I actually can't wait. It's going to be ridiculously cute!

    This weekend is going to be immense. On Thursday, I have counselling training, predrinks and then clubbing with 2 of my girls. Friday, seeing the bf after hours of pampering at the salon. Saturday, I'm seeing the bestie and going to a 2nd year's house party and it is going to get seriously messy. I don't do drinking games so I'll be the tipsy one in the corner laughing at everyone that's en route to chunder city. Sunday, squash! I love being busy.
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    Today is the day I have so much to do! I managed to get up at 8.30am which is a massive achievement for me. I've already done my hard gym session and I'm feeling energised (and bloody hungry). I have to go into town and get some food and drinks, clean my room (which is quite a lot considering I'm a perfectionist when it comes to cleaning) and change my bedding. I have counselling training from 6-8pm and then predrinks with my girls followed by Scandalous at Timepiece. Should be a good day!

    Of course...I'm really looking forward to tomorrow night, more than anything.
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    I've been so busy lately! It's been crazy. TP on Thursday was really good and I got to know one of the girls really closely at predrinks. I casually gave my number out to 2 guys that night. I didn't have any expectations of either of them but they both texted the very next day. I've been on a date with both of them. One of them has no chance. He's just too insecure and has no confidence. It's not attractive. The other one has been a complete gentleman and we never shut up. I'm seeing him again tomorrow.

    Things with the almost-bf are hotting up. Friday night was incredible. We must have spent about 18 hours together and he was saying how he wished we could have more time together. I'm really looking forward to Valentine's Day. There's also a salsa night at TP, so I'm thinking of continuing the Spanish/Hispanic theme and going there with him.

    I have a sore throat trying to get rid of it ASAP, anyone have any remedies other than honey and lemon and salt-water gargles?
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    Very long time since I last updated, considering I don't usually do a lot. The last week or so has been hectic and very little studying has been done.

    - I have a boyfriend. And it isn't who everyone thought it would be. He's 25. He's a local. But he treats me right.
    - Valentine's Day was incredible. The bestie/something more spent about £100 on me. I felt awful. I mean, he's a student too! And he knows that it's about the thoughtfulness, not the money. Anyway...he told me he's in love with me. He loves me. He texts me sweet things now, tells me he loves me during the day.
    - I have an essay due in for 1st March. I haven't been to any of the lectures.
    - Italian oral presentation in 2 weeks. Decided to do it about anorexia.

    At least I'm doing nothing today. I'm going to crack on with some work.

    My feelings are all mixed. I'm in love with the bestie but we just can't be together because he said he doesn't feel mature enough to enter a relationship at the moment. My boyfriend is also incredible...he's everything I've ever wanted in a guy. He literally has everything going for him and I care about him a lot.

    Anyway. Tonight I'm going out for dinner with the bestie; Nando's, because we're classy. Tomorrow, the boyfriend is cooking me a three course meal! x
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    I just realised that I have far too much work and not enough time. I don't know what to do about that. I know working is the obvious answer, but that's just not happening today. I've had the worst day I've had in a while and I've taken a double dose of antidepressants to cope. The long and short of it is that I had a massive argument with my mum. She said that I'm not taking life seriously. Okay, if I'm not taking my degree seriously, why am I always stressing about it? Why do I go the extra mile on my assignments and exams? Why don't I just cram and get 40% so I pass? Why do I try and get as high as I can? I was actually furious after this phone call and it ruined my whole day. She lives 200 miles away. On a day to day basis, she has no idea what I do. I don't tell her about my degree/work because that's all my brother talks about and she complains about how she doesn't understand anything he tells her, so I tell her things she does understand and the positive things that are happening.

    She absolutely messed my day up. I was crying outside the flat and I didn't feel like moving. I went into recluse-mode, like I usually do. I was supposed to go shopping and pick up some bits but I didn't want to. I had to (there was nothing to eat) but as soon as I came back, I burst into floods of tears. It took so much out of me just to go to town. My depression is actually crippling when it hits me hard -- I won't step outside my room, regardless of what I have planned for the day. I haven't received an apology or anything from her. When we were on the phone, she apologised but it felt like she was just doing it for the sake of it, not because she actually felt sorry. I haven't heard from her all day -- usually we call each other about 3 or 4 times a day.

    The weekend was incredible. I'm in love I love it when my boyfriend shows me his vulnerable side. It's the side I absolutely love. He's a good laugh and he's passionate as hell, but when he opens up, I just melt. The meal was so good and I was really surprised because I had doubts. I thought he'd be a rubbish cook. He's actually really good! I met all his friends and they all approve, so I'm happy. I'm meeting his whole family this weekend and I'm quite nervous because no guy has ever taken me home before. We're going out tomorrow, but I don't know what we're doing. I don't fancy just staying home, really.

    I'm seeing the bestie on Wednesday. We're meeting up during the day, for once! It won't turn into a late thing, hopefully. We had a great night on Friday, albeit we had to wait for a table for 30 mins. We headed to the Quay for shisha and had such a laugh. I live for moments like those.

    I hope tomorrow will be better than today. I know it will be because I'll be seeing my boyfriend, but I really hope things with mum improve. I don't know if I should call her or let her call me. I think I'll leave the ball in her court because I've done nothing wrong. The thing is, within the first 5 mins of the conversation, I told her that I was going to take my pills because my depression was really bad today. Yet she still argued with me over nothing. Inconsiderate. x
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    The reason I haven't posted in a long time? ESSAY. I had a deadline of 1st March and I've been stressing out about it so I took the last 3 days to just complete it in record time. I'm so relieved but I don't think I've done that well because I couldn't understand anything that I read.

    I met my boyfriend's family on Sunday and they're all lovely. The bestie asked me to be his girlfriend. I had to break his heart because he just isn't ready and I think he asked because he was scared of losing me. I'm seeing him tomorrow and we're going out for tapas. As for the boyfriend, I'm seeing him tonight and cooking for him on Thursday.

    I feel like I haven't been clubbing in ages. Really need a good night out. Perhaps Thursday after dinner? Thursday is the best night out during the week.

    It seems that family drama has continued, but not with my mum. We're as solid as ever. It's to do with my brother and his girlfriend. He's proven that blood isn't thicker than water and he has defended her mindlessly against me. I'm livid. The thing I really can't accept is that she has never met my boyfriend and she has only seen his Facebook profile, yet she is being a complete snob about him and hates him. What gives her the right?

    I have an Italian assignment due in at some point. Stressing out about that. And another essay on 13th March. Has anyone else felt like term 2 has had about a million times more essays and such than term 1? x
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    Things have changed dramatically regarding my love life. Things have done a 180. Anyway, all I know is that I'm happy with what's going on but getting a little worried because the 'boyfriend' went on a lash last night and was pissed when he called me and I haven't heard a peep out of him today. Worried considering what could have happened (he has a past of getting a bit aggressive) and also I'm supposed to be seeing him tonight. I wonder if that will actually happen...

    Didn't eat breakfast today until about 2.40 or something ridiculous like that. My whole day has been pushed back, but last night and this morning were worth it. The 'bestie' and me went out for cocktails and had such a good night. Guys, if you haven't tried Chambord liqueur before, you are missing out in life. Do it, do it now!

    Right. Need to crack on with some work! x
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    I did see him. I tried breaking up with him. Massive fail. I told him why and I was completely honest, but it didn't work. I want to stop this. I don't want to mess him around any more. I was with him all of last night but when he was sleeping in my bed, I was thinking of the 'bestie' instead. Wishing I was with him, wondering what he was up to and how his night was last night.

    Thing is, when I was breaking up with the 'boyfriend', I couldn't stop crying. He kept telling me that he still loves me and he always will. I feel like I was sent on a guilt trip to ask if he'd take me back. Regardless...something needs to be done.

    Making loads of progress with my Italian presentation though x

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