[jazzykinks]

(Original post by fiona_x)
Ok, I don't think we ever met which is a shame as you seem fairly down to earth which is a quality lacking in many Exeter students from my expereince. I dropped out because I didn't like my course and was pretty dissatisfied with the whole uni in general (although if I had committed to staying, I could've sorted it out). Glad you decided to stick it out

Aww thank you that's really sweet of you. I totally know what you mean about Exeter students being really up themselves. There's so much snobbery here and it gets me down all the time. I feel bullied, to be quite honest. I'm actually changing my whole degree, but I understand how you feel completely -- the reality of coming to this uni is completely different to what you envisage. x

[dmccririck]

(Original post by jazzykinks)
Thanks a lot! Means so much, surprised people actually read this! Good luck do you know where you're going? I think I'm just an anomaly really, usually people love the people they share with. x

Thankyou! I'll be going to Sheffield university to study biochemistry, grades provided of course!

[pellejema]

I love reading your blog, but you've absolutely terrified me about the possibility of studying at Exeter later this year! Sounds like there are loads of massively bitchy there. Are there truly so many bitchy and snobby people there? x

[fiona_x]

(Original post by jazzykinks)
Aww thank you that's really sweet of you. I totally know what you mean about Exeter students being really up themselves. There's so much snobbery here and it gets me down all the time. I feel bullied, to be quite honest. I'm actually changing my whole degree, but I understand how you feel completely -- the reality of coming to this uni is completely different to what you envisage. x

Oh bless you I never felt bullied as such, as I am definitely more than capable of standing up for myself and once I decided to leave, there wasnt much point in trying to "make nice" with people who weren't interested. I just found that many of the people there were just so genuinely clueless/wrapped up in their own "mummy and daddy sheltered me" worlds that anything else was just horribly offensive to them. Although saying this, some of them were lovely and obviously people can't help their background but then one of my former flatmates once asked me what a state school was ffs, and no, I didn't live in Holland

(Original post by pellejema)
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Feel like I should quote this as well as I've just given my perspective on it, but your experience may be totally different as I know people who have the time of their lives there

[jazzykinks]

(Original post by pellejema)
I love reading your blog, but you've absolutely terrified me about the possibility of studying at Exeter later this year! Sounds like there are loads of massively bitchy there. Are there truly so many bitchy and snobby people there? x

Thanks! It can be really bitchy and I can't say I have a solid set of friends, but you may fit in. It also depends on what accommodation you're staying in too. I mean, I'm in quite expensive accommodation, so everyone here has quite a fair bit of money and they really think they're better than those without. Money doesn't buy manners. However, you may fit in just find. I admit that some of it is my fault. I'm a lot more mature than everyone else here, despite being the youngest. Perhaps it's because everything you do in freshers, I've already done! x

[jazzykinks]

(Original post by fiona_x)
Oh bless you I never felt bullied as such, as I am definitely more than capable of standing up for myself and once I decided to leave, there wasnt much point in trying to "make nice" with people who weren't interested. I just found that many of the people there were just so genuinely clueless/wrapped up in their own "mummy and daddy sheltered me" worlds that anything else was just horribly offensive to them. Although saying this, some of them were lovely and obviously people can't help their background but then one of my former flatmates once asked me what a state school was ffs, and no, I didn't live in Holland

I give as good as I get, to be fair. I totally understand what you mean. I went through a really bad time (I was attacked on campus) and they acted like that kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life, only in movies because they'd had a privileged, middle-class upbringing. I totally get what you mean. There are some genuinely nice people here that have money but don't get all superior about it. My boyfriend is quite well off and he knows I'm not, but he's never been a snob about things x

[jazzykinks]

I haven't updated lately because the past few days have been hectic. 2 essay deadlines and my Italian oral, all of which are now out of the way so I can celebrate

I've also seen my boyfriend every day this week. He's leaving tomorrow night so we've tried to make the most of it. We're going to watch The Hunger Games tonight. I hope it's good! Cream tea tomorrow, outside in the sun opposite the cathedral. Should be special!

The oral went really well. I finally think my brain has almost recovered from the anorexia! I remembered the whole presentation word for word, which means that I'm getting back to the ability I had before I became anorexic. I'm so happy! x

[fiona_x]

(Original post by jazzykinks)
I give as good as I get, to be fair. I totally understand what you mean. I went through a really bad time (I was attacked on campus) and they acted like that kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life, only in movies because they'd had a privileged, middle-class upbringing. I totally get what you mean. There are some genuinely nice people here that have money but don't get all superior about it. My boyfriend is quite well off and he knows I'm not, but he's never been a snob about things x

Oh my god, was this the incedent at the start of December that Estate Patrol came and warned everyone one about?! Really feel for you either way, I was in the position of wanting to just pack it all in and go home before I decided to change course over a lot less so well done for staying and pulling it all together

The Hunger Games is incredible btw

[jazzykinks]

(Original post by fiona_x)
Oh my god, was this the incedent at the start of December that Estate Patrol came and warned everyone one about?! Really feel for you either way, I was in the position of wanting to just pack it all in and go home before I decided to change course over a lot less so well done for staying and pulling it all together

The Hunger Games is incredible btw

No but I reported mine after I heard about the other from EP. I felt like I could help someone on campus if they'd reported it too, so that they could arrest the guy. I really wanted to leave, trust me! I used to call mum up and cry about it :\ it's still ****ty here but at least everyone's moving out after exams!

Ahh I'm quite excited, can't remember the last time I went to the cinema! x

[jazzykinks]

We didn't go to the cinema last night. We wanted to celebrate the end of our exams for this term instead. We decided to go to a Michelin star champagne bar and ordered a couple of cocktails instead. They were honestly out of this world! Never tasted something so good in my life. My cocktail actually tasted like summer.

We then went to our usual cocktail bar and proceeded to have a couple of cocktails. We got quite horny...in public. Nothing indecent though promise! Our plans for today have also changed. We're going for a pint and ice cream rather than cream tea. I fancied some cider when I woke up and, given the beautiful weather, it seems more appropriate to do that than go for cream tea.

I need a plan for tonight! I'm feeling like staying in, actually, but I know I'm going to have loads of nights in from tomorrow onwards as I'm staying here during the whole of the holidays. Hmmm...x

[jazzykinks]

Things changed yesterday; we ended up spending the whole day together. Ended up in Nando's for dinner and then we went back to his to pack, then returned back to mine. It got really cold last night! Saying goodbye was so hard. The next month is going to be really difficult because everyone has left or is leaving soon, so I'm going to be completely alone. I called my mum to talk about this and I ended up crying. I don't have a family home to go to. I know what would happen if I went home and I know that it's better to be lonely than get verbal abuse from my dad whenever he gets a chance. He'd probably punch me if I came back, simply because I can't put up with any bull**** any more and I'll give as good as I get.

I'm going out tomorrow night. I know I'm going to be alone, but there's a dancehall and reggae night in one of the local bars. Perhaps I'll make friends with the locals. I've met some awesome locals before, so perhaps I'll get lucky if I just put myself out there and try to be sociable. I'll probably go at about 10pm or something. Other than that, I'm going to go to the gym and then pop into town for some milk, considering my bitchy flatmates threw mine away the other day.

I feel really lonely already :\ x

[jazzykinks]

I spoke to my boyfriend last night it was really sweet and we're both missing each other; at least I'm not alone in feeling like this! I think I'll end up coping a lot better with it than him. I'm stronger.

Today's been awful. Last night, one of the people that's still in the hall had a birthday party. It's hell's kitchen in there, honestly. The bins are disgusting and overflowing, one of my pieces of cutlery had been used without my permission...ridiculous. I don't mind parties, but they were quite disruptive last night. Learn how to control your guests and clean up after them please. The kitchen's been a sticky mess.

I woke up after midday. Totally threw me off track so I haven't done anything at all. I'm trying to motivate myself to go out to that dancehall/reggae night at the moment. I'm not surprised that I woke up so late due to the late-night noise yesterday. I've also been in a horrible mood. I feel like crying all the time. I really do feel lonely here. It's pathetic that I don't have a home to go to. x

[jazzykinks]

Another disappointing day here. I was awake at 8.30am. Next thing I know, it's 12.40pm and I'm still in bed, only woken up by a text from my mum saying that she's going out for lunch and will be unavailable for the next few hours. Another wasted day doing **** all.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow is going to be the day that I get up early, go to the gym and go to town because I may die if I don't buy some milk and vitamins. I have to go to the gym every day this week -- they're closing it for the Easter weekend, so I'll only be able to go 4 times this week, maximum. I have to go. I think I'll spend a little longer at the gym. 1hr 30mins? Sounds good. It's not like I have anything else to do, really.

I feel a lot more positive today, though. I don't know why, but I'm not complaining about it! Long may it continue. I think the initial sadness of missing my boyfriend has worn off because there's nothing I can do about it and time will go faster if I don't dwell on it. I mean, next weekend is Easter. Then my mum is coming for a visit on 13th and hopefully staying longer than just the weekend. By that time, it will only be two weeks until he comes back.

I think I'll do some stomach crunches in my room to make me feel like I've done something today other than lazed about. I'm also going to sign up for that Netflix thing. Free trial? Yes please. It's going to get abused this month! I have lots of time to kill!

I read an article about living alone on the Guardian today. It's changed my perspective. I need to think positively about having a month to myself. I guess I can take things at my own pace, treat myself well and be a bit selfish about things. Long may the positivity continue! x

[jazzykinks]

Today was a pretty good day. I managed to get up at 9.30am so I had lots of time to get everything done! Went to the gym but didn't do any weights. Just as well -- my shopping from town was so heavy today! Ended up spending way too long in the shops. I feel so anxious in the supermarket. You're just bombarded with so much food and offers and it's so hard to actually concentrate in them. In any case, I'll need to go back before Good Friday to get some meat and fromage frais. I'm also feeling some cider as well. Always good to have a bottle in the house. Or 3.

I'm going out tomorrow night. A club in town does a salsa/Latin night so I've decided to give it a go. Even if it's a bit disappointing, the cocktails and sangria are really cheap so that will keep me merry! I've been wanting to go for a while, so I'll check it out solo and see if it's good. If it is, could potentially go with the bf when he comes back.

Mum texted whilst I was in M&S buying pitta bread. She's staying till Tuesday afternoon So happy! She'll be coming on Friday 13th and leaving on the Tuesday after. Lots of time with mummy, yay! That's definitely going to make the Easter break a lot more manageable.

I found a book to buy today. It's called 'Playing Away' by Adele Parks. I wanted something easy to read and something romantic. I was stuck between getting something by Nicholas Sparks and this but his book sounded like it had too much drama. I don't want drama, thanks. I've had my fair share. This book seems a lot more light-hearted. It took me ages to try and find a decent book, though! x

[jazzykinks]

Today was okay. I had a long chat with the cleaner, Wendy. She's a babe and it was so good to catch up with her -- hadn't seen her in over a week. We have a little coffee morning whilst she cleans. It was really nice and I didn't feel lonely at all.

Finally, everyone has gone away for Easter! I'm by myself. It's a lot more peaceful because it means I can wander around in my bikini. More importantly, it means that there will be no mess at all because I'm a neat-freak.

Going out tonight for a salsa night. Cheap cocktails -- I'm there! x

[jazzykinks]

I didn't end up going to the salsa night. It was cold outside. I got pretty tipsy and finished off some wine instead. I watched some stuff online too, but spend most of my time writing. I just had a sudden spurt of creativity, so I used it and took full advantage of it. These things don't happen often enough to me. I also read a little too.

I had my first driving lesson in about a year and it went really well. The instructor is really nice. It was great to drive around Exeter and Topsham. They're beautiful places and you only get to appreciate it if you drive because the real lovely parts are too far to walk to. Hopefully I'll be able to do my test in July/August. There's not that much wrong with my driving...although I have a tendency to go too fast.

I won't be going out until Sunday night (clubbing, that is). I've decided to cut down to once a week during the holidays because that way I'll save money. Less clubbing = more money = more money to spend on the bf/treating myself/in Italy. Rumour has it that my absolute lad of a mate is coming back next Tuesday, which means this 'less clubbing, more money' plan will go out of the window because he loves a good p**s up.

I watched a show on 4od today called The Undateables. It really made me appreciate what I have. I have mental disabilities as well, so I understand how hard it can be. However, up until recently, they've never really stopped me from socialising and dating. It's so hard to find someone that accepts you and your illnesses too. I'm so glad that my boyfriend does. He knows absolutely everything and could have done a runner at any point but, despite knowing my demons, he's stuck around and loves me unconditionally. What a babe. I absolutely love him. I really hope the people on the programme find love because it's incredible and everyone should love and be loved. x

[jazzykinks]

*sigh* another long night in. I wanted to go clubbing but I need to stick to my 'one night out a week' regime if I want to get anywhere with saving some money up for holidays and spending on the boyfriend. I shall find something to do...hopefully. I'm half-way through the book that I bought the other day, which isn't good considering it was supposed to last me the whole holiday. Why are books so bloody expensive nowadays?

I got up at 12.55pm. Ridiculous. Obviously, going to the gym didn't happen as I didn't want to be calorie-deficient and lose weight. I chilled out and spent a lot of time on the phone with mum. I danced a little bit, did some stomach crunches and messaged a few people on Facebook. Spaghetti and meatballs for dinner -- absolutely delicious, if I do say so myself.

The plan for tomorrow is to go into town to get a couple of things, like yoghurt, fruit and veg and fizzy drinks. I'm tempted to go for some shisha but I don't know if I can afford to. I just won't. Or maybe I will -- I need to check how much money I have in my account. I wish I had a job

Today has been really uneventful, but quite restful. I think my body needed it. However, I'm becoming really restless because I just feel like doing something really active, hence the desire to go clubbing tonight. Oh well. x

[jazzykinks]

It turns out I've saved loads of money this month Really proud of myself for having a bit of self-restraint this month and managing to actually say no to temptation when in shops and on nights out.

Yesterday was supposed to be good but it was a bit of a flop. I'm friends with a local girl and she invited me to the pub. What was supposed to be a harmless couple of pints ended up being an all-day, all-night bender. She's a liability and she's really irresponsible. She ended up ditching us in a club halfway through the night. She's left stuff round my place but once she comes to collect it, I don't really want anything to do with her. She's kind of in this friendship for what she can get out of it.

I met a really nice chap yesterday. He's Spanish and his English isn't 100% but still good enough. I'm going to brush up on my Spanish (need to for Tenerife with the girls anyway) and then we can talk in Spanish too. We're going to hang out on Monday, considering it's a bank holiday and he doesn't have to work. It'll be nice to have some decent company and he's a really chill guy, proper deep and creative.

I really miss the boyfriend. So many guys tried flirting with me and tried getting me to dance with them etc. but it was just pathetic. No one else compares. It made me realise how much of a real, proper man I've found. I absolutely adore him!

I woke up stupidly late with lots of injuries from last night. A drunk idiot fell on me yesterday in one of the clubs and I've got a busted lip, sprained wrist and a massive bruise on my knee. My feet are hurting from walking all around town in heels and then dancing in them. Ouch. I've spent the whole day relaxing and trying to rest up a bit. I've also had a migraine, but that's nothing unusual. I've spent loads of time on the phone to mummy I also managed to do all the housework. I was supposed to go into town but it was just too late and I couldn't be bothered, so I cleaned up the whole room. I always feel better when my surroundings are clean!

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday! I can't believe I haven't munched my Easter egg by now. It's been hard not to but it's more rewarding if you open it on Easter as opposed to giving in and scoffing it before. It makes it more special, I guess. Can't wait to dig in though! x

[jazzykinks]

Easter Sunday has been uneventful. I woke up late again (I had no reason to be awake early so I just slept) and haven't done much. I've felt pretty lonely today because my mum was unavailable till about 6pm, so I haven't talked to her for long today. Usually we have really long chats, but I guess there was nothing to say considering I haven't done anything. I did tidy up and have a clear out though. Also ordered a couple of books to keep me going through the month.

The boyfriend contacted me. As I suspected, he's enjoying Easter, hence he hasn't written to me in a while. I'm just happy he's enjoying himself, really! I cannot wait to go shopping and get him his surprise.

Scrap that. I just can't wait to go shopping. I've run out of everything, pretty much. I'm going tomorrow. I know it's a Bank Holiday but most things will be open anyway. I'm also going out again in the evening, probably just for a coffee or something chill like that. I don't fancy any alcohol for a while (Thursday, I want to go clubbing then).

Gosh, I just realised that mum is coming to stay on Friday. She's not leaving till Tuesday. I'm happy that she's coming but it's just going to be a bit awkward at first. I will feel a bit put out because I'm used to having things a certain way and being by myself. I can't believe it, but I've grown accustomed to the loneliness. x

[jazzykinks]

I managed to wake up early yesterday and went to town. I got pretty much everything I needed; the essentials. I'm going to do a bit more shopping when me and mum go to town on Saturday because she can give me advice. I'm looking for some flat but smart boots because I don't seem to have any warm shoes :\

I met up with my mate last night. We had a good time in a cocktail bar. It was quiet because it was a bank holiday, so we got to know each other a lot better. We're really similar, which is good. It's scary, our thoughts on certain things! I've never met anyone who shares pretty much the same views as me on pretty big topics.

I woke up really late. It was worth it, though. I didn't think I was tired when I went to bed, but I had a bad night's sleep the night before, so I guess it just caught up with me. Anyway, I'm glad to have rested up properly. I haven't done anything today but I had a hilarious chat with my mum. I really cannot wait until she comes on Friday! I haven't seen her in far too long. Also planning to get her drunk x