I completely crapped up the first year of my degree. Hell, I completely crapped up my first degree... It's what you do with the years that COUNT that make a difference. Equally, do not forget why you fought so hard to get on it or that you have a disadvantage to every one else.
So what if your family have all gone to red bricks and you're at an ex poly? Does it make your degree have less worth? Don't believe the dicks on TSR or anyone who tells you that a 2:1 from a redbrick is better than a first from an ex poly (or similarly, that a 2:1/2:2 from both is not equal because they are) because they're wrong. Plain and simple wrong. Out of all my friends, a few went to Cambridge and got high firsts because they're incredibly good at learning, and a few went to redbricks, and a few went to ex-polys. Out of them all, the one girl who got a 2:2 from the lowest ranked university is doing the best after graduation as she is damn
good in the workplace and good at what she does.
I think you then either have to decide that the relationship isn't going anywhere, and let him go, or that it's down to the mindset you have at the moment and when you get better as you will do, the hope and optimism for your future together will come back
Do not blame yourself. I'm so sorry to hear about your friend but every decision she made was her decision, you do not need to feel guilty. We can all say 'If this had happened...' and 'but if I'd done that...' but they didn't happen and we didn't do that and that will never change. Are you getting counselling? I think that's important because you can't feel guilty forever, and the overall tone of your spoiler is just guilt guilt guilt.
No child abuse or major traumas here either, we just managed to luck out with dodgy genes and a faulty brain.