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Depression Society MKVI

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know people who can just spontaneously do things and feel happy and confident, whereas i think about what im about to do and whether people will judge me for even just putting up my hand and answering a question in class.

    or whenever something casual happens to me i analyse it to the extent that you wouldn't recognise it as the act that happened to me.

    internally, im constantly thinking about the consequences of everything i do and everything that happens to me.
    :console: I know how you feel . That's how I generally am too. I think it happened to me because I was bullied for ages. It stopped when I started over-analysing.

    Recently I started doing it less. Things started going bad again .
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    (Original post by Nut.)

    Anyone have any advice after this hideously long post?

    This post could pretty much have been written word for word by me (aside from the amazingly mature way you seem to be handling it; I am the master of head-in-sand syndrome.)

    The way I see it is, barely passing the year is not great, ok its fine from a degree perspective, but, as you say missing so much learning from this year will only make next year harder. For me at least, I think knowing that I am so behind and struggling so hard to actually do anywork, is only making me more stressed and feel that much worse about myself. If you did intermit, you would have 6 months to get better and prepare for next semester.

    Of course you might get ill again in the future, but hopefully you could use this past year as a learning experience in terms of how to plan your work etc.. and what support the uni can give you to help. Hopefully with the right support straight from the beginning of term you could manage the course more successfully.

    With your family, would telling them very honestly; I am having some terrible days atm, but I am getting the right help and working hard on getting better, be an option? Sorry, I am terrible at dealing with my family, don't really have any great advice here.

    Just a few thoughts sorry if its a bit useless, my head is fuzzy today.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Also, hi everyone! May have been stalking this thread for while now and only just got the courage to post
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    (Original post by Sultana)
    This post could pretty much have been written word for word by me (aside from the amazingly mature way you seem to be handling it; I am the master of head-in-sand syndrome.)

    The way I see it is, barely passing the year is not great, ok its fine from a degree perspective, but, as you say missing so much learning from this year will only make next year harder. For me at least, I think knowing that I am so behind and struggling so hard to actually do anywork, is only making me more stressed and feel that much worse about myself. If you did intermit, you would have 6 months to get better and prepare for next semester.

    Of course you might get ill again in the future, but hopefully you could use this past year as a learning experience in terms of how to plan your work etc.. and what support the uni can give you to help. Hopefully with the right support straight from the beginning of term you could manage the course more successfully.

    With your family, would telling them very honestly; I am having some terrible days atm, but I am getting the right help and working hard on getting better, be an option? Sorry, I am terrible at dealing with my family, don't really have any great advice here.

    Just a few thoughts sorry if its a bit useless, my head is fuzzy today.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Also, hi everyone! May have been stalking this thread for while now and only just got the courage to post
    Welcome :hug:. That was also how I joined the thread .
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    Welcome :hug:. That was also how I joined the thread .
    Thank you and its quite scary isn't it!
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    (Original post by Sultana)
    Thank you and its quite scary isn't it!
    Don't worry. You'll be fine
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    (Original post by Sultana)
    Also, hi everyone! May have been stalking this thread for while now and only just got the courage to post
    Fresh meat.


    (welcome :hello: )
    #20

    (Original post by Sultana)
    Thank you and its quite scary isn't it!
    got more courage than i have in not going anon

    good on yah!
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Fresh meat.


    (welcome :hello: )
    I'm not tasty. Honest!

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    got more courage than i have in not going anon

    good on yah!
    Or not; made a new account specifically ha
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    (Original post by Sultana)
    This post could pretty much have been written word for word by me (aside from the amazingly mature way you seem to be handling it; I am the master of head-in-sand syndrome.)

    The way I see it is, barely passing the year is not great, ok its fine from a degree perspective, but, as you say missing so much learning from this year will only make next year harder. For me at least, I think knowing that I am so behind and struggling so hard to actually do anywork, is only making me more stressed and feel that much worse about myself. If you did intermit, you would have 6 months to get better and prepare for next semester.

    Of course you might get ill again in the future, but hopefully you could use this past year as a learning experience in terms of how to plan your work etc.. and what support the uni can give you to help. Hopefully with the right support straight from the beginning of term you could manage the course more successfully.

    With your family, would telling them very honestly; I am having some terrible days atm, but I am getting the right help and working hard on getting better, be an option? Sorry, I am terrible at dealing with my family, don't really have any great advice here.

    Just a few thoughts sorry if its a bit useless, my head is fuzzy today.
    ----------------------------------------------------------------

    Also, hi everyone! May have been stalking this thread for while now and only just got the courage to post
    Thanks. Yeah everything you've said is true I suppose.

    It's very frustrating. I'd been stuck at home for so long. All my friends went off to uni whilst I was still finising off my A levels, and this was supposed to be me 'spreading my wings'. Turns out all I've done is crash land (excuse the terrible word play).

    _________


    I don't feel at all myself today. I feel very detached and almost not human. Definitely don't feel 'normal', whatever that means. Feels like I'm stuck in a loop of sleeping, then not being able to sleep, restricting, then binging, and endless appointments with doctors, crisis team, people at uni.

    One my flatmates is away at the moment, and the rest of them have clingfilmed his room. They've been happily scurrying around for most of the day, finding a seemingly endless amount of joy from it, and I'm just sitting here like a zombie, wishing I could wake up.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    got more courage than i have in not going anon good on yah!
    Sure does :yep:
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    This thread makes me depressed :O

    EDIT: I didn't mean it in a bad way, reading how others are just as bad as me...kinda makes me feel worse lol
    #20

    (Original post by ViceVersa)
    Sure does :yep:
    ohhh shushh you
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    Chance of me sleeping tonight? Low to nil methinks. Gonna give zopiclone another shot.

    Had a bit of a breakthrough, my friends came over for the weekend and we went to the supermarket, it was scary as **** but I've found if I wear a hat constantly it makes me feel less scared about people stealing my thoughts. Also makes me stand out a bit less which is good too. So at least now I can buy food and stuff, which is awesome.
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    (Original post by Nut.)
    Thanks. Yeah everything you've said is true I suppose.

    It's very frustrating. I'd been stuck at home for so long. All my friends went off to uni whilst I was still finising off my A levels, and this was supposed to be me 'spreading my wings'. Turns out all I've done is crash land (excuse the terrible word play).

    _
    I know how you feel. I took a gap year last year, and stupidly decided to do very little which didn't help things. I thought coming away to uni would be my fresh start that I needed, to get away from bad memories etc.. but turned out I'm not so good at the whole 'living independently' thing.

    Maybe what I said is true, but its hard to listen to. If I read back what I wrote I really should take my own advice, but that is the ultimate failure (in my mind.) I wanted so hard to make this work but I've failed miserably and now its rubbish. :sigh:

    Would renting your own room away from your parents be an option? Or is that not really financially possible?
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    (Original post by Sultana)
    I know how you feel. I took a gap year last year, and stupidly decided to do very little which didn't help things. I thought coming away to uni would be my fresh start that I needed, to get away from bad memories etc.. but turned out I'm not so good at the whole 'living independently' thing.

    Maybe what I said is true, but its hard to listen to. If I read back what I wrote I really should take my own advice, but that is the ultimate failure (in my mind.) I wanted so hard to make this work but I've failed miserably and now its rubbish. :sigh:

    Would renting your own room away from your parents be an option? Or is that not really financially possible?
    Not possible financially unfortunately. And then there would be explaining to them that I don't want to live with them, even if it costs me £100 a week.

    Taking one's own advice must be one of the hardest things to do .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i know people who can just spontaneously do things and feel happy and confident, whereas i think about what im about to do and whether people will judge me for even just putting up my hand and answering a question in class.

    or whenever something casual happens to me i analyse it to the extent that you wouldn't recognise it as the act that happened to me.

    internally, im constantly thinking about the consequences of everything i do and everything that happens to me.
    I know the feeling
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    (Original post by novaspire)
    I guess. Thanks for the kickstart. I just had another look over what i said and i cant believe im that cowardly. I need to work on that. It is what I want to do, im just slightly worried that i wont be good enough to do it. But yeah, doesnt matter if i dont try at least, i should grow up a bit :/
    i didn't mean to be horrible at all. don't see it as you being cowardly or immature. you're afraid because you don't believe in your abilities and you can only see the negatives and the possible negatives. god knows we've all been there, i certainly have. it's really difficult to overcome that sense that you're just not up to scratch and everything you do is going to be ****. i was just saying that even if you can't immediately get rid of that and start appreciating your abilities (i bet these people aren't even that much better than you tbh), you can see how putting yourself out there is always going to be a better decision than not, even if you DO end up "failing". it's ok to be afraid, but acquiescing to that fear is not going to make us any happier because then we will look back and hate ourselves for not doing it.

    good luck x
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    Don't listen to music anymore, don't sing anymore, can't really follow books, can't sleep, never hungry, lost about a stone in the last few weeks, no motivation,

    Spoiler:
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    no sex anymore


    pushing friends away, everything I do is just a distraction, Constantly agitated, grrrrrrrrrrr,

    Anyway - Have a good week everyone. Hope I will too....
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    (Original post by outworn)
    :grouphugs:
    :jumphug:

    (Original post by outworn)
    No SH today
    Well done

    (Original post by outworn)


    rock bottom. I wish I could drink
    Whats wrong?

    (Original post by angelbones)
    A bit of a Forever Alone! moment inside the spoilers.

    Spoiler:
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    I think one of my flatmates just got engaged. I'm happy for her, but it has hammered home again that I am still alone.
    I just want to sit and cry.


    Going to get up off my arse though and run. Maybe it'll make me feel better.
    Spoiler:
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    Come to see me and/or Superwolf and we will make you feel not alone

    You will find someone though :hugs:



    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    :cry:

    Spoiler:
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    I think my dad's suicidal, he keeps saying he's leaving tomorrow and crying and everything but he won't say where, I have no idea what to do
    Spoiler:
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    :hugs:

    Do you think it is something he will act on, or something he is saying in the moment? If you think he will act, you should consider getting advice from Samaritans or similar, and/or maybe call A&E.


    (Original post by Nut.)
    Not having a brilliant day (/week/month/year).

    Still haven't managed to get to a lecture, screening or seminar all semester, despite first attempting to get 'back in the swing of things' over 2 weeks ago.

    Beginning to think that I shouldn't really be studying for a degree. I could intercalate, but I'll only end up having similar problems next year, or in years 2 or 3, and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get the funding to intercalate again. Besides, I don't want to be 26 or 27 by the time I finally finish this degree.

    Not really sure what to do now. I want to drop out, but I don't want to lose the support of the university and the doctors here, and I can't go back home. Going back for the holidays is bad enough.
    Won't be able to hold down a job, and wouldn't be able to get one in the current climate anyway.

    Completely out of options, as far as I can see.

    (This could be quite triggering: )
    Spoiler:
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    And I spent 5 hours yesterday trawling through old newspaper reports online about people who've jumped, trying to work out the minimum height I'd have to do to be successful. I wouldn't know what to say if I phoned the crisis team, and there's nothing they can do anyway, other than phone support, which is pretty useless to me. Don't want to be hospitalised again, because it'll act as a mask rather than a cure, and there probably aren't any beds here anymore anyway. :sigh: Not sure what to do.
    Have you been able to keep up with the work, despite missing contact time in university though?

    Have you got your marks for Semester 1 yet? You may have done better than you thought then, and if you managed S1, you can manage S2.

    Try not to assume the worst when it comes to things. You can suspend, and keep the uni support, and go back and do better in September - you can try and carry on, and see how it goes, and if it goes bad scrap the whole year under health reasons and do it all again. If you resit or suspend for a year, usually if it is for health reasons, you can do it multiple times. The only restrictions here are that you most complete the course within double its length, so within 6 years for a 3 years full time course, or 12 years for a 3 years part-time course (each year taking 2 years). Student finance usually consider funding you for more than the length of course + 1 years if you get funding for a year which isn't counted due to illness.

    Spoiler:
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    Ok, so not great at not planning on how to kill-self myself, but do you have anything that can distract you when you feel like that. For me, depending on my mood, could be sorting and tidying, to just watching **** TV for a few hours until my mood lifts slightly, then attempt more productive things.

    :hugs: :hugs:


    (Original post by Nut.)
    Feeling slightly better this morning afternoon .
    (Totally didn't only just get up.)

    Have decided that it's probably for the best if I just continue at uni until the end of the academic year, then reassess the situation then if necessary. I only need 40%, and much as my self confidence wants me to believe otherwise, I can't see any way that I'll get less than 40%.

    Once that's done I'll have the summer to recover again and hopefully get my meds improved and diagnosis sorted out once and for all.

    And if I don't get the 40%, then I can just drop out completely/ reapply/ go to a different uni or whatever.
    This seems wise, with respect to what I said above about resitting the year if you do badly, although I think that is unlikely - I have faith in you!
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    (Original post by rmhumphries)
    x
    Watch out!!!


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