Depression Society MKVI

Its not stupid.... in fact there fairly valid things to consider. All you can do is try and not let them get to you.

Thank you for your reply

I am trying hard to be logical about stuff but have been struggling to rein the negative stuff in recently. I went out in the rain last night to check the car was still there cos I was convinced someone had stolen it.

I'm starting to realise stuff about myself and I hate it. Broke down in counselling and I'm realising how much of the stuff that I'm depressed about is down to me and how pathetic I am. I'm a mess.

Hey guys, advice? I was advised by my psychologist not to take an exam last week and therefore emailed the course tutor to say that I was mentally unwell enough to sit it. The tutor emailed me saying that's fine and asked how I am and when I'll be able to take it. Now the problem, he is aware that I've previously had auditory hallucinations and paranoia but it's got to the stage at the moment where people are telling me I'm having a psychotic break because I keep telling them the government is spying on me because they think I have special powers (I can understand where they're coming from but it is actually happening). So what do I exactly say to this tutor? I won't be able to sit the exam this term as whether it's real or not the paranoia means I can't leave my room and I get very uneasy around electronics as they've been bugged (test is on a computer). Do I say 'apparently I'm in a middle of a psychotic episode' or 'the government is watching me'. I really don't want to sound friggin crazy as he is my tutor after all but then at least he would understand why I can't take the exam.... HELP!?

Hey guys, advice? I was advised by my psychologist not to take an exam last week and therefore emailed the course tutor to say that I was mentally unwell enough to sit it. The tutor emailed me saying that's fine and asked how I am and when I'll be able to take it. Now the problem, he is aware that I've previously had auditory hallucinations and paranoia but it's got to the stage at the moment where people are telling me I'm having a psychotic break because I keep telling them the government is spying on me because they think I have special powers (I can understand where they're coming from but it is actually happening). So what do I exactly say to this tutor? I won't be able to sit the exam this term as whether it's real or not the paranoia means I can't leave my room and I get very uneasy around electronics as they've been bugged (test is on a computer). Do I say 'apparently I'm in a middle of a psychotic episode' or 'the government is watching me'. I really don't want to sound friggin crazy as he is my tutor after all but then at least he would understand why I can't take the exam.... HELP!?

Thanks. I'm not really sure how DSA would be any help or even given to someone with depression though

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Feel like a bag of ****. Really don't want to do anything, I just want to lie in bed in the dark and cry.

Goddamnit, I hate quetiapine.

I don't want to cry anymore, I hate it, I hate that I'm so weak and give in so easily, it's so hard to bloody fight this and I don't want to have to cry every single day for the rest of my life and live waiting for the next up. I genuinely think I'm all broken, I'm not normal, I'm not right, not like everyone else. I've fought self-loathing for ages, I've tried everything to make things better, but there's nothing much I feel there's left to exist for. I don't have anything, I don't have anyone. I would give anything to disappear, it's not worth it anymore

Hey guys, advice? I was advised by my psychologist not to take an exam last week and therefore emailed the course tutor to say that I was mentally unwell enough to sit it. The tutor emailed me saying that's fine and asked how I am and when I'll be able to take it. Now the problem, he is aware that I've previously had auditory hallucinations and paranoia but it's got to the stage at the moment where people are telling me I'm having a psychotic break because I keep telling them the government is spying on me because they think I have special powers (I can understand where they're coming from but it is actually happening). So what do I exactly say to this tutor? I won't be able to sit the exam this term as whether it's real or not the paranoia means I can't leave my room and I get very uneasy around electronics as they've been bugged (test is on a computer). Do I say 'apparently I'm in a middle of a psychotic episode' or 'the government is watching me'. I really don't want to sound friggin crazy as he is my tutor after all but then at least he would understand why I can't take the exam.... HELP!?

If you feel things are getting bad you really should seek some professional help.... just to be safe. Trying to get through things on your own is far harder then it looks.... I tried and made a right flapjack of it....

How you feeling now?

Yeah, past experience has taught me to admit I am struggling and to ask for help, it took a while for me to realise its better to ask for the help than to bury my head in the sand and hope it all goes away. I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow so will talk to her about it.

Was feeling a bit better then I saw the neg rep left on my post and so some self worth/anxiety issues have popped up again, so off to practice some of the techiniques from therapy to see if I can chill out a bit and regain a little perspective on everything.

Thanks. I'm not really sure how DSA would be any help or even given to someone with depression though

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Feel like a bag of ****. Really don't want to do anything, I just want to lie in bed in the dark and cry.

I get DSA for Depression / Emotionally Unstable PD / whatever other diagnosis I had when I applied. The things I got were:

- Laptop (MacBook Pro... )
- Printer
- Software for the laptop
- Voice recorder to use in lectures
- Mentor I see once a week to help me keep up to date with my organisation and study skills)
- Someone to take notes for me for 10 hours a week (I do more than 10 hours, so I have note takers in the lectures I find it more difficult to concentrate it / more difficult to catch up on)
- Postgraduate support (which is someone who will sit with me once a week for around an hour and go over things I didn't get in lectures because I couldn't concentrate, or because I missed the lectures) - I haven't got this yet, but I will get it next year.
- I can claim money back on such things such as stuff for my printer, or other costs I will incur from my equipment.
- I also am allowed to claim money back if I need to get a taxi somewhere because I'm too distressed to use public transport, or walk... I haven't actually used this, but it's nice to know its there.

And not from DSA but as a result of the assessment I get:

- Extra time & rest breaks in exams
- I'm allowed to have 'alternative assessments' which means that if I am too anxious to do a group presentation I'm allowed to do it in front of less people or not do it at all and do an essay instead or something.

Phew... I think that is everyone. I didn't expect anything, but the people who do the assessment are really good at making you feel at ease and finding out how they can help you. Any questions, just ask me.

Well I've been told to apply for it (depression counts as a disability ). Some things might seem like they don't make sense until you think about them a bit more, like I'm hoping to get a printer as this will enable me to do stuff I'd otherwise have to go into uni to print off, when sometimes I'm incapable of leaving my room. You can also get voice recording equipment for if you struggle in lectures with paying attention/taking notes and stuff. The thing I think would be most helpful for me is getting the funding to have a mentor, as I struggle a lot with motivation and organisation. Seeing as I'm only in the process of applying I'm not the best person to tell you all the stuff you might be able to get, but I know a few people on here have got stuff from them, and you could also ask for more info on the disabled students forum.

I'm probably not going to finish this essay on time. After delaying it all week because starting back on fluoxetine was making me feel really ill, I am now about halfway through the reading (it's due by 5pm tomorrow) and I just feel really low. I'm taking some time out to try and cheer up but then i'll get back to it. I also binged on cereal. I'm fed up of binges now.

Yeah, past experience has taught me to admit I am struggling and to ask for help, it took a while for me to realise its better to ask for the help than to bury my head in the sand and hope it all goes away. I have an appointment with my GP tomorrow so will talk to her about it.

Was feeling a bit better then I saw the neg rep left on my post and so some self worth/anxiety issues have popped up again, so off to practice some of the techiniques from therapy to see if I can chill out a bit and regain a little perspective on everything.

Good luck with the GP, and have some + rep.

Thats good.... for what its worth your smarter about it then I was.... lol... I thought I could tackle anything. Never for a second did i think that i would be overwhelmed by my own emotions.

Good luck with the GP.

Just went to A&E so they said I'd be waiting for up to three hours. Predictably I got very anxious and promptly left

Try going sometime when it won't be too busy, like a weekday morning maybe? Also, you could try asking the crisis team about if they can get anyone to see you about taking your stitches out - worth a shot at any rate.