Depression Society MKVI

Well I didn't notice a difference on medication but those around me said that I seemed calmer so who knows

haha no no, I am sure you are much better looking than me hun well it doesn't matter if you are having issues, you should just explain to your teachers about how difficult you are finding everything atm, they will understand it all

Sorry to hear your moods gone back down though anything I can do to help cheer you up?

You could mention that he said to see him and he might take it from there

I suppose so, just frustrating sometimes.

Got to type up a 2500 word report for physics and chem, Microsoft word just crashed and the physics file has been lost, I spent my whole weekend on that!!! I'm actually ragin', I cried for a bit and lost my temper on my siblings, now I have to start again
To top it off, I'm failing all my chem NABs and my mums been on my case about how I'm such a failure and how I'm never gonna survive the 'real' world, why does my life suck?!!

I dont wanna say on here in a public forum but essentially a) personal stuff and b) God ain't helping me , and duno where the big guy is.

I ruined my life and there is no hope for me.

You can always pm me if you like...I have college tomorrow and I dont want to go. I hate being with the people in my class. They are the competitive type and love to see people fail, I get a real bad aura from them. I just feel so isolated and in my own little world in the classroom even though I am surrounded by people. Hate this feeling...my attendance has really taken a dive in the last month or so..dont know what to do anymore. Oh, and I ran out of my medication, asked for a repeat prescription only to be given my propanalol and not the sertraline. Great! And because I couldnt be bothered to walk back to the GP, and literally 'talk' to the receptionist I came home without my medication. Requesting the RIGHT prescription tomorrow morning feels like I am about to embark upon climbing Mount Everest. Its been 3 days since I last took anti-depressants and starting to feel the difference already, life feels bleak etc.

I know that feel.

When all is said and done only you can effect change in your life though. You know how you destroyed it so you know how you could possibly fix it (in many cases). If you don't try you will just slide evermore towards a place you can't drag yourself back from. If you find that a "god" (or the notion of) can help you then so be it, but waiting for it to "send you a sign" or somesuch won't help. The world is a sad place full of injustice and tears but there is always hope, even if you can't quite feel it at the moment. For you it may be your god, for others the eyes of their children and for many tomorrow brings hope if only the hope of an abdication from all that is today. It really is up to you to find your hope because without that we do have nothing, and may as well fade into history.

In short: just get drunk and cry it out. ^^

might jsut do that. I missed so much uni cos I don't want to go as well. I exactly know what you mean. People like to see you fail, the bad aura. I know exactly what you mean. Plus with me, they are all rich, posh and me, I am just poor. I need to go to my GP, I been cancelling appointments but was thinking of needing medication. I just can't do it.
I hate going to uni and seeing people. I can't do it.

Wow you sound exactly like myself, you single? I joke.. No seriously, I could have wrote this post word for word. Im another one that cancels appointments left right and center. Oh, and I have a wierd problem with leaving the house. Sometimes I just spend days and days inside, because I just dont want to see anyone.

So it probably does work

Nah you look way better . Tomorrow I'm going to go to the learning mentor and tell him what happened. It doesn't help that I left my textbook in the class on Monday . I just don't feel that I can continue with this anymore. I just want to give up on studying.

I dunno. I want to add you on Facebook. Also are you coming to the London meet? Can't really think of anything else right now. How are you feeling?

lol, We do sound a like. Yep to your question lool, you?
I am so reserved, and introvert. I can't open my life to some stranger. When I was at my lowest point, I did go and forced myself to get help. Now,I regret it and feel like why should I open my life. At least on here, I am anon and no one knws me.

I can't leave the house as well. I rather spend days inside watching daytime on ITV. Saame, I hate going out and seeing people. I can't do it.

Uni- I force myself, really force myself to go. I feel so isolated when I am there. I am paranoid, scared and feel like I am **** in comparison to everyone else.

I don't know why I decided to have a competition with my friend over whose life is worse. The focus soon turned to me when I told her its almost certain that I have depression, and want to leave school. She suddenly left me, saying she can't help me and needs to go to sleep.

Im not single unfortunately, haha. But right now I do feel single, my partner doesnt understand my depression. Id even go as far to say he is bored with my depression...he prefers me when I am on medication and I am docile and numb to anything... I usually stay in bed when Im at home all day and look at threads on internet forums as a result my eyesight has got progressively worse over the last few years..I literally have to psyche myself up to go into college, I find myself immensely bored out of my skull...Im so disappointed with academia, there is no room for creativity, innovative thought. Just..'this is the way it is' learn it. How sad...I am happiest when I am teaching myself, which is why I know I will have a phD one day as that sounds like a dream. Lock me in a lab somewhere, and I just sit on my own writing essays that are my own thoughts and ideas and get paid for it. Rather than just endlessly spew out someone elses ideas, it bores me so much. I see how stressed I get at being around people, and how unwell I feel most days. Maybe, a solitary career might be the way forward..

Yer at least it must have worked again, so I will give the meds another go

Well just talk to the college I am sure that they will be able to help out hun, they will probably have dealt with this type of thing before! I have often felt like giving up with my degree, but I know that if I want to do stuff after this I have got to push myself through it. You just have to ask for help and keep trying to get through it if you want to hun

Don't really know about the London meet, messed up giving work my account info and so haven't been paid yet, so really don't think I can afford to do anything till I get paid! But will see when the money comes through you definitely going t the london meet then? I am feeling so full, I have just binged on pretty much all of the food in this house .... feeling so ill!

aww. Have you tried talking to your partner abt your thoughts and feelings?

Same, I watch telly and trawl on interent forums all days. Rather do that than do work. I find it boring.

I had hopes one day even going far as doing PhD- that is outta of the door. I hate my degree

I feel so depressed and **** most of the times, that I purposely sometimes don;'t bother revising or even answer an exam question cos I wanna fail so i can confirm to the world that I am ****. That makes me feel even worse. I sound ridiculous and stupid.



Lock you in lab- lol. You thinking of becomming a scientist?

I wouldnt say she is a very nice friend, if she left you when you felt that way...So sorry about that. Ive learnt to not tell anyone about my depression because most of the time people dont care as awful as that sounds. I tell people at college I have 'ongoing' health problems. They have not probed me further, therefore I feel vindicated in my decision to not say what it really is..

Hugs, are you ok? x