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Depression Society MKVI

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    Argh, yet another group meeting tonight for people who have had psychosis and I'm dreading it. I just feel trapped in meetings like that as I can't escape and they are two hours long, still, I've already been to two of them and that went reasonably well so I guess I'll just go to this one tonight and see what happens.

    Sometimes I just wish that I was just left to my own devices rather than having all these meetings with people. I know it is meant to make me feel better but in some circumstances it actually makes me feel worse because I feel so much under pressure to see my mental health improving.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It probably could be if I tried harder I think. Should have plenty of time to do it tomorrow though.

    Sorry to hear that, hopefully mentor will give you a bit of a confidence boost :console:
    That's hard when you're not in a good place though. How was today? :hugs:

    Thanks, feel bad, I think this has been the worst week yet for revision. Also new phone arrived today, that hasn't helped with getting distracted.
    My first android phone has me amazed as had my previous phone for 3 and a half years and it cost £20 new then. :lol:
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    I didn't, but I don't care. I had a mock exam straight after, and I didn't do over half of it. The teacher wasn't happy. I didn't go back after break. I don't even want to go to school now. I will be willing to do the actual exams, but that's just about it. I don't want to go for unnecessary lessons. I just don't see the point. Look at how little revision I did during the holidays. And then you get teachers always putting you under pressure in various ways.

    The worst thing of all is the bastard that is my dad. Never ****ing takes me seriously. He thinks whatever I'm doing is a joke. I just want to kill him.
    :hugs:

    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Heh, thanks guys.

    Angelbones, you shouldn't worry about going. I was terrified to start with but it's ok if you just turn your MP3 player up loud and get on with it. Although I did lose a fair amount doing the couch to 5k program before I joined the gym. You could try that?
    I am doing already. Very slow going as my ankle's still recovering, but I go swimming twice a week now to strengthen it and that's certainly helping too
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    (Original post by McNuggetsAhoy)
    Argh, yet another group meeting tonight for people who have had psychosis and I'm dreading it. I just feel trapped in meetings like that as I can't escape and they are two hours long, still, I've already been to two of them and that went reasonably well so I guess I'll just go to this one tonight and see what happens.

    Sometimes I just wish that I was just left to my own devices rather than having all these meetings with people. I know it is meant to make me feel better but in some circumstances it actually makes me feel worse because I feel so much under pressure to see my mental health improving.
    I'm glad you're going to it

    (Original post by Webberino)
    That's hard when you're not in a good place though. How was today? :hugs:

    Thanks, feel bad, I think this has been the worst week yet for revision. Also new phone arrived today, that hasn't helped with getting distracted.
    My first android phone has me amazed as had my previous phone for 3 and a half years and it cost £20 new then. :lol:
    Aha, I love getting new phones. Although, I never figure out half the things it can do until months later, when someone has a similar one and does something totally unexpected with it
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    (Original post by angelbones)
    I'm glad you're going to it
    Thanks . 30 minutes until I need to get ready :eek:.
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    (Original post by McNuggetsAhoy)
    Thanks . 30 minutes until I need to get ready :eek:.
    You'll be fine Let us know how it goes when you get back, eh?


    ---


    It’s ridiculous that I feel wary about putting the word ‘negroid’ into a scientific report.
    I’m sort of deviating off the topic a little by bringing up anthropometric differences between races, but I feel it’s relevant. I just can’t bring myself to write it, in case it seems racist.
    It’s the correct term, for god’s sake. It would look worse to write “…between caucasiods and those of african descent”.

    It doesn’t help that the lecturer who sets and marks the paper is South African and has mentioned a few times to us that he was living there during Apartheid.

    RAGH. I don’t know.
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    Just got back from the gym. For the first time ever I managed to get the balls to enter the free weights area. There was a bunch of huge guys there and then little me, but I did squats, bench press and random **** with some dumb-bells. Actually feel really good about myself. I managed to stay there for ages despite all the laughing and comments about my weight. Exercise is most definitely good for mood.
    Wooo that's awesome! High Five!
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    (Original post by Noodlzzz)
    I've finally figured out the crisis team. They have one of these:



    But instead of turn it on and off again they've got 'have a hot bath' :rofl:
    hahahhaha. Sadly, it's so true.
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    I hope everybody's okay :grouphugs:

    Spoiler:
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    Parents really hurt me last night. :cry:


    (Original post by JessaminePoppy)
    Hm. Does not seem to me to be an ideal situation.

    I don't know much (apart from what's been written and I'll admit I didn't read all of it ) nevertheless, don't pin all your hopes on a psychiatrist. It's just a dialogue with another human.

    It never worked for me, but, y'know, people are different. Try not to put even more stress on yourself over the appointment.

    :cheers:
    Thanks :sadnod:

    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Bloody hell, your CPN sounds really **** if she can't even make an appointment properly. Is there anyway you could phone up and say you really need an appointment sooner than May, because really they should be able to do that?

    :hugs: You've done so well at keeping safe up to now, I know its hard but just need to try and keep pushing on and talk to people about how you are feeling rather than rushing into doing stupid things, because there are lots of people that care about you, and want to help in any way they can.
    She is :sigh: Yeah she apologised and said she'll try and get me an appointment within these 2 weeks :erm:

    Thank you :hugs:

    (Original post by thatsthebadger93)
    Well done for actually going to the appointment, even if your CPN did cancel it and I'd definetly treat yourself :yes: Hopefully she'll be able to get you another one quickly given she was the one that ****ed it up in the first place and don't let her fob you off with one in like a month, if you need one now you need it now! :hugs:
    Aww, thank you :hugs: :heart:

    She better get me another one :sadnod:

    xx
    (Original post by kahinalouise)
    :hugs: I know that feeling, its horibble , I know my parents wouldn't be calm and rational, my dad would lose it. whats the worst your parents can do ???
    I wish you didn't know the feeling, big hugs hun :hugs:

    Hmmm...not sure you'd wanna know, or if it'll be appropriate for this thread. They can do a lot of bad things basically :sigh:

    Hope you is okay.

    (Original post by bullettheory)
    Is there anyone you could stay with for a bit until things have calmed down? :hugs:
    Too late, I already went back home to face them yesterday, and you know how that turned out

    (Original post by Idle)
    How did they find out? :hugs:
    My college receptionist forgot to pass the message to our Learning Support Manager that imma not be in school because of this appointment, and in our college if a reason isn't given for your absence they ring your parents asking where you are. It sucks :sigh:

    (Original post by SamF1992)
    Do your parents not know/understand about you having appointments for this sort of stuff?

    Sorry to hear you're having a bad time of it
    No they don't understand nor do they know the seriousness of the situation.

    D'aww thank you :hugs: :heart:
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    (Original post by angelbones)
    :hugs:
    Thanks :jumphug:
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    (Original post by ViceVersa)
    I hope everybody's okay :grouphugs:

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    Parents really hurt me last night. :cry:
    :jumphug:
    You okay after that, honey?
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    (Original post by angelbones)
    :jumphug:
    You okay after that, honey?
    No. Not at all :cry2:

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    (Original post by ViceVersa)
    No. Not at all :cry2:

    Want/need to talk about it? :hugs:
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    I feel silly writing this, but maybe someone will know more about this than I do. Last few days I've been feeling strange (well more strange than usual ). Started with feeling really unsure about my identity, not knowing who I was, feeling empty, the usual stuff really. But then I started feeling like I was in a dream, and I still feel like that, I dunno things seem strange, even my family seem strange and new, like I've just met them.

    It's mainly the dream feeling which is bugging me though, I just feel I need to wake out and get out of this body because it doesn't feel like me. There's other stuff going on, I mean there are one or two things which I am SURE happened, I can remember it really clearly and I'm just completely sure it did happen, but the evidence would suggest that it didn't happen, so I'm just confused as to what happened. There's also something that apparently happened but I just don't remember it. I'm so confused.

    I have been really stressed out recently and my DBT therapist says that sometimes if I get stressed out I may feel less real, but I don't get it, why is it happening? I just need to wake up and get out of this dream but I'm not sure how, and I know it is meant to go away but then it just seems to be getting deeper everyday.

    Does anyone have any advice? I'm just really confused and dazed
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    Just don't see the point in anything now. Everyone else is more luckier than me. Nothing goes my way. Everyone just puts pressure on me. Why can't they just leave me alone? I really want to do well but I want to revise how/when I want to. I don't want people telling me that I don't have a lot of time left, or how I should do things.

    :mad:
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    (Original post by bullettheory)
    I feel silly writing this, but maybe someone will know more about this than I do. Last few days I've been feeling strange (well more strange than usual ). Started with feeling really unsure about my identity, not knowing who I was, feeling empty, the usual stuff really. But then I started feeling like I was in a dream, and I still feel like that, I dunno things seem strange, even my family seem strange and new, like I've just met them.

    It's mainly the dream feeling which is bugging me though, I just feel I need to wake out and get out of this body because it doesn't feel like me. There's other stuff going on, I mean there are one or two things which I am SURE happened, I can remember it really clearly and I'm just completely sure it did happen, but the evidence would suggest that it didn't happen, so I'm just confused as to what happened. There's also something that apparently happened but I just don't remember it. I'm so confused.

    I have been really stressed out recently and my DBT therapist says that sometimes if I get stressed out I may feel less real, but I don't get it, why is it happening? I just need to wake up and get out of this dream but I'm not sure how, and I know it is meant to go away but then it just seems to be getting deeper everyday.

    Does anyone have any advice? I'm just really confused and dazed
    I've experienced something similar myself and the doctor said is was derealisation/depersonalisation.
    Mine was particularly bad when I looked in the mirror - I completely didn't recognise my features and it really scared me.
    It's hard to explain exactly how I felt, I guess what you said about it feeling like a dream is the closest I could get to putting it into words.

    Do you think it could be that? :hugs:
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    (Original post by ViceVersa)
    I hope everybody's okay :grouphugs:

    Spoiler:
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    Parents really hurt me last night. :cry:




    Thanks :sadnod:



    She is :sigh: Yeah she apologised and said she'll try and get me an appointment within these 2 weeks :erm:

    Thank you :hugs:



    Aww, thank you :hugs: :heart:

    She better get me another one :sadnod:

    xx


    I wish you didn't know the feeling, big hugs hun :hugs:

    Hmmm...not sure you'd wanna know, or if it'll be appropriate for this thread. They can do a lot of bad things basically :sigh:

    Hope you is okay.


    Too late, I already went back home to face them yesterday, and you know how that turned out



    My college receptionist forgot to pass the message to our Learning Support Manager that imma not be in school because of this appointment, and in our college if a reason isn't given for your absence they ring your parents asking where you are. It sucks :sigh:



    No they don't understand nor do they know the seriousness of the situation.

    D'aww thank you :hugs: :heart:
    Glad your okay, hope you get your appointment soon and things get better, you will be at uni next year so wont have to deal with your parents as much. my sixth form does that aswell so frustrating
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    did they hurt you psychically or mentally, don't worry if you don't want to say, you can always inbox me if you want to talk. :hugs:
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    (Original post by avhhs)
    Just don't see the point in anything now. Everyone else is more luckier than me. Nothing goes my way. Everyone just puts pressure on me. Why can't they just leave me alone? I really want to do well but I want to revise how/when I want to. I don't want people telling me that I don't have a lot of time left, or how I should do things.

    :mad:
    :hugs: hope you're ok hun
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    (Original post by Nut.)
    I've experienced something similar myself and the doctor said is was derealisation/depersonalisation.
    Mine was particularly bad when I looked in the mirror - I completely didn't recognise my features and it really scared me.
    It's hard to explain exactly how I felt, I guess what you said about it feeling like a dream is the closest I could get to putting it into words.

    Do you think it could be that? :hugs:
    Yeah tbh that sounds similar to what I've been feeling. I thought I would go on facebook to try and get some identity back but it just made me freak out because I saw my pictures and I was like 'woah, i just dont recognise this person' and then my name just felt, like it was wrong. And the same thing - I look in the mirror and it just doesn't feel like me, or that I am controlling the person in the mirror, it's like im just observing. I had a read about derealisation and depersonalisation and it did seem to make some sense. How did you get over it, did it just fade with time? Thanks :hugs:
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    (Original post by Phoenix07)
    Yer I think the break will be good .... just worried about spending the weekend with the parents, I am sure it'll be ok I just worry about these things. And they'll want me to make a decision about my future and I don't want to!

    God the supervisor has caused real issues with the project and stuff so want to make sure I don't get marked down for her not being very good! (don't think I will get money though )

    I will be taking my laptop with me though, going to have to do alot of work this weekend (hahaha you can't get rid of my that easily )
    You will just have to tell them that your not in a position to make such a decision. Shame you wont get cash..lol

    Yep know the feeling of having alot of work to do...lol... as if I would try to get rid of you..
Updated: May 3, 2012
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