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Depression Society MKVI

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Applying to Uni? Let Universities come to you. Click here to get your perfect place 20-10-2014
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    (Original post by Nut.)
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    FFS I've lost control of my eating again. 300kcals a day for the past 3 days, then 3000kcals today. More than a little concerned that my 'recovery' from this depressive episode is actually more about my eating. On days when I restrict I feel happy and in control. On days that I binge I feel fat, ugly, guilty and useless.
    Still, no suicidal or self harm thoughts today. :sigh:
    That last sentence is a plus though!

    Hang in there, sweetie, I've had the restriction thing too.
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    (Original post by Saffie)
    I don't know what you're taking or the side effects of it. But if its affecting your vision then stop it?? I know you've taken loads of different meds but obviously losing your sight isnt worth it.

    & well done, 13 pounds is a lot!
    I'm going to go to the doctor and demand to stop it next week but the damage to my eyes has already been done. At least I get a dog....I don't want a dog at that cost. :cry:

    And thanks, I wish I could feel good about it but right now I feel so miserable.
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    (Original post by outworn)
    I got a job! :woo:

    Love working, now I have a huuge reason to keep positive :top:
    Awesome! That's really great

    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    NSPCC are going to send someone round from children's services to get a full assessment, and make sure they keep an eye on my sister if/when I go to uni as I don't trust my mum.

    Am going to speak to someone on Monday about housing stuff and what I can do to get out of here, fingers crossed it goes okay.
    I think that's probably a good thing :yep:

    I'm really glad to hear this and hope to hear some more news soon. :hugs:

    (Original post by Saffie)
    I hope you're taking your ADs?? Think you should try them.. they might help!
    I was taking them during that whole week and after I left hos, but then stopped Thursday-early today ish, but I'm not going to be silly and start taking them again. My reasons for why I stopped were rpetty much the same reasons of why I didn't start them when I should have in the same place, accompanied with frustration

    I'll try harder I promise.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ive read in some places that people grow out of it, like, they still have it and it still flares up now and then, but that will be rarely and most of the time they forget they have it. im hoping im one of those people.
    I hope to god the same too :crossedf:
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i completely understand, a massive friendship group would not be my idea of fun either. in fact, i dont see the majority of my friends at my new school unless im at school.

    what are your grades like? to a certain extent, the views of GCSEs on tsr is somewhat skewed, so dont go by everything they say.
    They were A*/A but now I'm lucky to get a C. My grades aren't going to be great because I can't think of a thing I've learnt this academic year and I know I wont catch up in time for exam season. It's my own fault, I know. Nobody can motivate me, it's all my own doing. Even if I was motivated, my concentration wouldn't allow me to do any work.

    (An incredibly self pitying post there, apologies ).
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    (Original post by Sabertooth)
    I'm going to go to the doctor and demand to stop it next week but the damage to my eyes has already been done. At least I get a dog....I don't want a dog at that cost. :cry:

    And thanks, I wish I could feel good about it but right now I feel so miserable.
    Whats happened to your vision? How do you know it won't recover? People can have damaged eyes but still have great vision. I can't really give any proper advice though cause I don't know whats happened? If you've suddenly lost vision you should go to A&E..

    If you think your vision is affected by the meds then I think you should start cutting down the dose now and obviously see your doctor.

    :hugs:
    #20

    (Original post by ViceVersa)
    I hope to god the same too :crossedf:
    ive also just learnt that sometimes docs prescribe ADs for IBS because theyre supposed to do something for the spasms. which is food for thought i guess.

    gahhhhh now im being weighed im gonna have to control what i eat. lately ive been in the kind of mood thats like "ohh who do i have to be pretty for, ill just have another bag of crisps" :sigh:

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    They were A*/A but now I'm lucky to get a C. My grades aren't going to be great because I can't think of a thing I've learnt this academic year and I know I wont catch up in time for exam season. It's my own fault, I know. Nobody can motivate me, it's all my own doing. Even if I was motivated, my concentration wouldn't allow me to do any work.

    (An incredibly self pitying post there, apologies ).
    dont worry about the self pity, i tend to wallow in self pity as well

    can you not tell somebody you trust at school, and see if you can get allowances made for you or have the exam boards notified of extenuating circumstances?
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    (Original post by ViceVersa)
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    Thank you, I hope so too!

    How are you doing today? :hugs:
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    This is my single greatest achievement: http://i41.tinypic.com/e5psfm.jpg
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ive also just learnt that sometimes docs prescribe ADs for IBS because theyre supposed to do something for the spasms. which is food for thought i guess.

    gahhhhh now im being weighed im gonna have to control what i eat. lately ive been in the kind of mood thats like "ohh who do i have to be pretty for, ill just have another bag of crisps" :sigh:
    Interesting..:holmes:

    Oh man lol :hugs:
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    Thank you, I hope so too!

    How are you doing today? :hugs:
    :hugs:

    Better. Still feeling a lil weird but better thanks

    (Original post by ParadoxSocks)
    This is my single greatest achievement: http://i41.tinypic.com/e5psfm.jpg

    :top:
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    I just can't sleep any more. By the time I sleep it's like 2-3am and the only time I can sleep properly is in once I've woken up a few hours later, which really isn't helpful with 9am lectures three times a week and my marks have gone down
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    (Original post by ViceVersa)
    :hugs:

    Better. Still feeling a lil weird but better thanks
    Glad you're feeling a little better, I hope it keeps up
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    (Original post by FuzzySheep)
    Glad you're feeling a little better, I hope it keeps up
    Mmm. That I hope.
    #20

    (Original post by ViceVersa)
    Interesting..:holmes:

    Oh man lol :hugs:
    im well and truly wallowing in self pity atm. :sigh:

    i hope you're feeling better? i saw your post in the applicants thread about having to buy your own ticket to keele :hugs:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :hugs:

    At the moment the only food I have in my room is nutella and hobnobs. (Normally I have crisps and cereal bars and things too, but I haven't been shopping in a while). Sucks, because I'm trying to eat healthily.

    They invite me to go out, but I always get pushed out to one side and so end up dancing on my own, which is horrible. I've gone home early every time we've gone out in the last 3 months, as soon as I get left I just walk back by myself.

    We keep getting threats from Security about the mattress in the kitchen. I have no idea where it came from, I think they might have stolen it from another flat on a night out, but we got written warnings saying we'd be charged a lot if it wasn't gone within a week... and it's still sitting there. No one's even thought about getting rid of it yet. I can't spare £300 over a bloody mattress, y'know?
    Yeah you shouldn't have to pay for that. One of guys in my flat (and there are 10 of us so I don't even know which one) managed to crack all the glass in the door to the kitchen. It's at least 2cm thick safety glass, about 80cm across and 5 feet tall... **** knows how he managed that. We all got an email saying we'd have to pay unless we told who did it. It got fixed over Christmas and I didn't pay anything so I guess he owned up.

    I'm not really one for nights out myself. Crowds of people make me anxious and I'd have to drink a lot to get through it which wouldn't be very good.

    I recommend fruit like apples, bananas, oranges etc. that you can keep in your room to stay out of the kitchen. And veg like carrots and even broccoli can be eaten raw.

    I try to keep my cooking brief - 10min stir frys or 3min scrambled egg type things.

    It probably doesn't help much that they know I was in hospital last week. They were really nice and supportive when I told them where I was going (so they wouldn't worry about where I was) but since I've been back it's like they don't know how to treat me and they're all walking on egg shells. I'll walk in and they'll all be laughing and then it goes quiet, someone asks if I'm ok, I'll say yeah and then it's just awkward.
    It feels like they think I think I'm better than them or that I'm being snobby, when I'm really just scared. Probably because I don't drink and smoke drugs with them because of meds and fear of psychosis coming back, so I'm not a 'typical student' in their book.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    im well and truly wallowing in self pity atm. :sigh:

    i hope you're feeling better? i saw your post in the applicants thread about having to buy your own ticket to keele :hugs:
    We all do it sometimes don't worry :console:

    I'm...here

    and yeah I was really angry this morning with my 'mum'. Is there a name for a mother who has disowned you? Maybe I shall start calling her ex-mum..
    #20

    (Original post by ViceVersa)
    We all do it sometimes don't worry :console:

    I'm...here

    and yeah I was really angry this morning with my 'mum'. Is there a name for a mother who has disowned you? Maybe I shall start calling her ex-mum..
    you could just call her by her name rather than mum? that way it wouldnt look outright aggressive but also acknowledging the fact that you guys dont exactly have a peachy relationship.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    you could just call her by her name rather than mum? that way it wouldnt look outright aggressive but also acknowledging the fact that you guys dont exactly have a peachy relationship.
    Nah it would feel wayy too...far, disrespectful. I feel odd calling people much older than me by their first names, no matter who they are :erm:

    I still at home have to call her 'mum' but elsewhere I may just go with ex-mum..
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)

    dont worry about the self pity, i tend to wallow in self pity as well

    can you not tell somebody you trust at school, and see if you can get allowances made for you or have the exam boards notified of extenuating circumstances?
    I haven't even been diagnosed with anything. I have a CAMHS assessment coming up though.
    I'm not sure, extra time wouldn't help me.
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    Oh gawd I know the nostalgia trip is bad now: I'm singing along to Westlife on youtube :facepalm2:

    Memories of being 7 years old and singing as I played keepy-uppy with a balloon.

    Saddest of all is that I still remember all the lyrics. :ashamed:
Updated: May 3, 2012
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